A Year As A Loud - Rewritten
by SizzlR
Summary: Colin Gomez lives an anything but normal life in the slums of San Diego. But when a TV he bought from a strange store transport's him to Royal Woods, Michigan, he finds himself living in the Loud House with 10 girls and only 1 other boy in the family. Now he must learn how to deal with 11 kids, school, romance, and finding the way back to his own world. REWRITTEN! SEE CH. 1!
1. Colin

**Alright, you probably read the title of this story and thought this: "Wait, didn't he already write this story?! What?!"**

 **Well, the answer to that is yes, I did write this story. In fact, it was the first story I've ever written. It got about 30 likes and follows, which was quite nice, in the end.**

 **But with all good things, there is a bad. See, I realized halfway through the story when I was writing that, well, my story SUCKED. There was nothing but basic plotlines, in your face description, and SO. MANY. SPELLING. MISTAKES! I was honestly surprised at the end how many people liked it! I felt like I didn't deserve all the love I got for that story, and I certainly didn't think I deserved as many author follows.**

 **So, I've pretty much decided to correct a personal wrong and write the remastered edition! It's gonna be 10 times better than the original! Added content, maybe extra chapters, hopefully less grammar mistakes, and definent enjoyment! And honestly, I will be happy if this story doesn't get any recognition whatsoever. This is just my attempt to make myself feel that I didn't let people down with the original. So without further ado, get reading!**

 **San Diego, California: Late Summer...**

It was a normal day for the small neighborhood on the outskirts of San Diego. There wasn't a cloud in the sky as far as one could see, and the air was unusually calm. Unusual, sure, but nice, nonetheless.

Unfortunately for the small cornerstore on the edge of 19th and Gordon, the tranquility could only lead to bad news.

 **SMASH!**

The front window of the small ghetto cornerstone was reduced to rubble in a matter of seconds. The store clerk on duty looked up at the sound, sheer terror in his eyes.

"Alright, who's there?! I'm armed!" He shouted into the street, pulling a baseball bat out from under the counter. But, unfortunately for him, he didn't notice the mountainous man standing behind him.

"Alright, on the ground!" He yelled, forcing the clerk to his knees. From where he stood, he could make out 2 more people climbing through the window.

"Grab the register, Frackle. And make sure you get all the 50s!"

He turned to the mortified clerk, who looked as if he had just died a bit inside.

"You know why I'm here, Jorge. Where is that punk!"

"L-look, Butchie, I-I don't know where he is, ok? I'm just working the day-"

"Liar!" He yelled, holding up a tube of metal to his head. "You don't want this bullet in your forehead, do you?"

"I-I..."

"Don't answer! But I know that YOU know where he is! So, TELL ME."

"H-he works the night shift on weekends! He's getting here round 8, ok? T-thats all-"

"Alright. I'll lay it on you, buddy. This here? This is Mace. Now, Mace doesn't like a lot of stuff, but you know what he DOES love? Pain. And he'll make you feel a LOT of that if you don't-"

"OK, OK!" Jorge screamed, terrified. "He's at his house! He was talking about going back to school today. Beats me why, though!"

It was at that moment that Butchie heard the overhead doorbell ring. He turned around to find who he had been looking for, clad in a pair of old shorts and a worn Chargers Jersey.

"Gomez..."

"Butchie," he said with a nod, acting as nonchalant as possible. "Mace, Frackle."

"You're just the guy I was looking for, you know. I know it was you who broke into the store!"

"What? Butchie, I think the crack shots you've been taking are getting to ya..."

He was stopped as a hand grabbed his throat and slammed him against a wall.

"I KNOW IT WAS YOU, GOMEZ! You've been trying this shot since you was 7! You can't get past me this time!"

"-sigh- Fine, whatever. Just let Jorge go, ok? He ain't done nothing wrong."

He looked back at Jorge, and motioning for him to get up was all he needed to sprint out the door.

"Now, then...where were w-"

Butchie wasn't able to finish the sentence, for the teen ghad landed a half decent punch on his right cheek. He dropped him and held his face in agony, which gave the kid plenty of time to flee.

"Ugh! FRACKLE! MACE! GET THE KID!"

The 3 men stopped what they were doing and quickly gave chase to the the Hispanic boy, which is about where our story begins...

As Colin Gomez ran away from his tormentors, he realized that he hadn't screwed up in the normal way this time. To him, "screwing up" was a fancy way of saying that he, say, hit his head off the overhang in his apartment. Or maybe accidentally gave someone the wrong amount of change at Mamas now vandalized storefront. Not his fault, but embarrassing nonetheless. Today, though, it was different. In his life, hitting his head or counting money wrong was no death sentence, but false accusation was punishable by firing squad.

Colin was 16, Hispanic, with tanned skin, jetty black hair that could be cornrowed (but he preferred it to stick out), and 6' 6". His mama had always told him that his dad was at least 6'11", but he couldn't prove that. His father had left when he was 2, pretty much like every other father in the small ghetto. His face was thin, with caved in cheekbones, a thin outline of a beard growing in, and an overall "sunken, depressed" demeanor. Ladies acted like they didn't pay attention, but Colin knew they all had a thing for him. At least, he THOUGHT they did. He happened to fancy himself a ladies man...but whether they did or not, he didn't really care. He was one of the few people in his circle of friends that believed in waiting for the right girl to come along, not prostitutes or whores.

As he ran, he thought about the incident. it was big news when it happened and it wasnt even remotely his fault, but who else would that dumbass blame for punching him and robbing his store? Butchie: Pissed. Blames: Colin. Colin: At home with Mama and Chica. Still, even after proclaiming his innocence countless times to him, Butchie had the nerve to break in, hold him cornered, with a gun in hand, ready to avenge his father's business. Colin couldn't do anything except hit and run.

He heard the sound of a pistol fire behind him, the bullet whizzing by his head... this was serious this time. Not like other threats, this? He could die right there on that sidewalk, in front of the old abandoned alley...the alley!

He ran into the alley, cornered between the walls of the apartments. Looking around, he spotted something rather unusual: In the place the dumpster was usually located, a small doorway he hadn't noticed was, instead. He had come down this place many times, mostly to just loiter, but never had he seen a doorway there.

"Questions later," he mumbled to himself before opening the door and ducking inside. Not a second later, Butchie, Frackle and Mace came into the alley.

"Oh, where did he go?!"

"I swear he came down this way!"

"Find him, you dingbats! Find him!"

They searched the area. Fire escape still not working, moldy pizza from about 2 years previous, and the dumpster in its usual spot against the wall. They saw nothing. Not even a door.

"FUCK! Frackle! Mace! Cmon! We're leaving!"

"Butchie, what about-"

"I don't want to hear it. He probably just jumped the fence. They all can do that."

"I know all about it, Butchie. Now come on! There's looting to be done!"

 **Inside...**

Breathing heavily, Colin regained himself. As he raised his head, he realized he was not in someone's home, but in a small shop. Behind the counter sat an old, empty chair. The nameplate on the counter seemed to be the only new thing in the shop, and it simply read "Insert name here."

"What brings you here, my friend?" A voice behind Colin said, making him jump.

"Ah! Oh..."

"Yep. Typical reaction, they get scared..." the old man said to Colin in a surprisingly younger voice. "What brings you to my humble store?

"Oh, you know, the usual," he replied. "Crime, Guns, and an angry ass hornet of a shopkeepers son."

Colin had a thing for sarcasm. It may have gotten him in trouble once or twice, but it made his Máma and Chica laugh.

Secretly, Colin had always dreamt about becoming a comedian. Walking up onto the stage with nothing but your smile and a good sense of humor, making the audience hold their sides in laughter... he thought that maybe making other people smile would lessen the pain of his current situation. And maybe, just maybe, he could give himself, Mama, and Chica hope. but every time he thought of the idea, he'd shake the feeling off, telling himself that no one would listen to him. What did a kid from a slum in the middle of San Diego know, anyway?

"Well, welcome to my store," the old man said, snapping Colin back into reality. "Customers have been slow to come in lately, but I know Business will pick up eventually."

"Well, maybe your first step should be to get a shop, umm, I dont know, ON THE STREET?" Colin said as he examined the shop. Junk lined the shelf on the decrepit wall, old tin cans and papers everywhere. But one item caught his eye. In the corner, buried behind some old newspaper, was an old satellite television.

Colin had never owned a TV. The closest he ever got to owning technology was an old MP3 player his friend Gomez had sold him, and all the music on it was by a country rock group, the Zac Brown Band. He still loved it, though the same 15 songs on full repeat aren't exactly mind altering.

"Hey, can I get this piece of junk out of the way for you?" He asked, not taking his eyes off the electronic.

"Hey, now, don't be talking about yourself that way, kid," he chuckled. "50 bucks."

The smile on Colin face quickly changed into an unhappy smirk. He barely ever has any money, and when he did, it was usually only coins he found on the street. Even those he would waste on candy bars and soda at his cornerstore.

"Damn...I don't have that mone-"

"Let me ask you something, Colin. Do you have a dream? A purpose in life?" The old man interrupted. Colin stepped back, startled at the question.

"How did you know my- nevermind. A dream? Like, what do you mean?"

"I mean a passion! A hobby, something that makes you happier!"

Uhhh..." he pondered, trying to dig something up. At last, he decided to be honest.

"Hmmm...no, not really. Unless you count that one about the Grizzly Bear, but I don't think you're talking about those kinds of dreams..."

"I see..." the old man said, his eyes narrowing. "Well, you want the TV? It's yours. No charge."

Colin couldn't believe what he was hearing. A free TV?! Anything in his neighborhood wasn't free! And this was the neighborhood that a bike cost up to 2 grand off of cheap drugdealers!

He had to earn and pay for everything in his life, plus help to provide for Chica with Máma. And now an old man was giving him free electronics?

"Hold up now, Abuelo. This thing works, right? I mean, I don't want you giving me some piece of trash," he said, looking for indents.

"As good as the day I got it. That thing opened up a WORLD of possibilities, Colin. Maybe it can for you, too?"

Colin eyed him suspiciously. "Alright then. But, why are you just giving it to me?"

The old man smiled, his toothless grin showing.

"Son, you'll find out that answer ione day."

"...ummmmm, ok, then. I'll be off."

And with that, Colin picked up the TV, hoisted it into the old shopping cart outside, and walked out the door. But little did he know that this was the start of one of the biggest (and LOUDEST) adventures of his life.


	2. Home

As Colin walked down the sidewalk, the TV being pushed in front of him, he thought of what had happened earlier. He wasn't scared of what those 3 would do to him. He knew they wouldn't have killed him even if they had wanted to. They had already done enough time. No, what he was worried about was what Mamá would think. They could barely scrap together a enough money to pay rent. What room was there to compensate for robbery?

He turned onto his street, and walking a bit farther, he stopped in front of a decrepit house. Well, If you could even call it that. It was more like a roof being held up with toothpicks.

He managed to pick up the old set and carry it to the door.

"MAMA! CHICA! I'M HOME!"

The door opened, and in the doorway stood a short woman. She was only about 5 feet tall, and had long, gray hair that ran to her shoulders. While she looked to be about 60 to the average eye, any man would be surprised to learn she was only 34.

"Thank the Lord you're home, Hijo! I've needed you since 4 o'clock!"

"Mama, you know I went to the store at 4. What did you need me for?"

"The stove hasn't been working!" She complained, briskly walking towards the kitchen. "It stopped heating up and I have no idea how to fix it!"

"Uh, Mamá?" He asked, struggling to hold the bulky TV in his hands.

"What? Oh! Give me that side, Hijo, I've got it."

As they gently set the TV on the couch, a young girl walked down the steps.

"Mama, who's there? Oh, it's you, Hijo," the girl said. Her real name was Louisa, but no one had called her that since she was little. The story that had been told was that Colin had given her her nickname when he was 7, but he knew that most every girl in his neighborhood was Chica to somebody. She was 9, and she always had been one of Colins' closest friends. They had always had that special brother-sister bond, and they would stand up for each other no matter what.

"What do you got there?" She asked as she looked at the TV.

"Why do you care, Chica?" He said with a toothless grin. While the two did love each other, there was always room to be a nuisance.

"Well, I don't know what it is! So what is it?"

"Hmmm...I don't know... I think I'll just-"

"MAMA! Colin won't tell me what he has!" She yelled into the kitchen.

"Deal with it!" Was the response. There was more concerning things that needed taken care of.

"Grrr! Just tell me what it is!"

"Ok, ok, sheesh! Hold your horses! It's just an old TV. I'm going to see if I can fix it up."

Mama walked into the living room and sat down. The relieved smile on her face told that the stove had finally turned on.

"Mama, if I can get this thing working, we night actually get to watch TV! Hthe news, Mama!"

"Hmmm...doubtful," Mama laughed, "but possible. Why don't you kids go up and get ready for dinner?"

"Fine by me," he said as he grabbed the set. He lugged the TV upstairs, into his room. It payed to be the only boy of the family, for then he had his own room to himself, unlike Chica, who had to share with Mama. He had a small bed that he didn't fit in anymore, with a small table in the corner and a poster of Ladanian Tomlinson on the wall. He had always been a Chargers fan, ever since he could remember.

"Not much, but its all that she can afford," Colin told himself. "God knows she tries though."

He put the TV on the table, plugged it into the small outlet in the wall, and turned it on. Instantly there was static. He tried to turn the dials and buttons, but to no avail.

"Oh, goddamn it! I gotta think before I go out and get this sort of junk!" He mumbled. "What a conman!"

He kicked the table the TV rested on. All of a sudden, the screen changed. The white noise was replaced with an image, a white house with a blue roof. It looked to be in decent shape, except for the fact a tornado must've passed by. The front yard was a mess.

Colin slowly turned to face the screen. As soon as he layed eyes on it, he was in awe. He had only ever seen a cartoon once before, the one time being when his elementary class had watched "Magic School Bus" In class.

" _¿Qué clase de caricartura es este?_ " He asked himself. The intricacy of the drawing, the animation style...it reminded Colin of a comic strip more than a cartoon show.

All of a sudden, however, the screen returned to static. Colin tried to get it to go again, turning dials, pressing the power button, and even unplugging the system. But nothing worked.

"God damn it!" He swore under his breath as he grabbed the old TV, ready to take it outside to the garbage. But when he did that, his finger slid off the side into the glass. As in, his arm went through the screen as it was nothing.

Colin was amazed. Slowly, he pulled his arm out and gently set the TV down on the floor.

"What the hell..." he said as he put his hand on it...

 _WHOOSH!_

The TV let out a massive gust of wind, knocking accesories down and his poster off the wall. The gale was so strong, Colin fell onto his back.

Slowly, but surely, the wind turned from blowing out of the screen to INTO it. Instead of papers flying around, they were now being drawn into the television set.

In the confusion, Colin felt his foot being forced to move. Before he knew what had even happened, his entire left foot was engulfed by the set.

"HOLY SHIT!" he screamed as he tried to pull his foot out. But the power of the TVs suction was too much too handle. Soon, he found both his right foot and hand in the screen as well as the foot.

"No, no no no no!" He yelled as first his torso, then his chest and neck, sere engulfed. He managed to grab onto a side of the screen to buy some time.

"MAMA! CHICA! HELP MEEEEE!" Was the last thing Colin remembered saying before his whole body was sucked into the TV. The sound of wind gushing was ire placed tby the sound of nothing.

He had closed his eyes to begin with, but soon opened them too see what the cause of silence was. He was floating in what seemed to be a nebula of stars he was floating in. Each star was hollowed out in the center to reveal a different place. A midwestern tavern, a farm, a snowy tundra...if one could name it, there was an easy way for Colin to get there.

He flailed his arms in a feeble attempt to move, but to no avail. It was about then that he realized where he was headed towards. He turned around to see what was probably the biggest star in the entire cluster. Though the picture was blurry, he could see that it was the same white house that he had seen on the TV. He was too tired to resist going into it.

The last thing that a Colin could remember was the person that came out. Though he couldnt make the image out, he could see it was a child in an orange shirt with...white hair?

The world began to darken around him. He held his breath as his eyes closed, and soon he was falling, falling through the air...

 **Do you know what really pisses me off sometimes? The hate that the TLH fandom gets for our supposed "fetishes." I mean, not all of us are into drugs, murder, and loudcest! I hate loudcest! It's a detriment to people's opinions on ALL of us in the fandom as a whole! I mean, every cartoon has that certain group who sexualizes everything, but come on! A lot of these guys that publish here don't deserve the treatment that they get! But in those certain writers defense, we ARE allowed to write that kind of stuff. It's just really, REALLY weird. Not to mention perverted. And personally, I wouldnt mind seeing loudcest stories disappear into the nighttime darkness, but that's none of my business anyways. Rant over, hope you enjoyed the chapter!**


	3. The Loud House

"OH MY GOD! A DEAD BODY!"

Colin slowly opened his eyes. The first thing he saw above him was a girl, a teenager with blond hair, a pair of circular sunglasses on her forehead, and a casual light blue sundress. He sat up, rubbing his head. He had taken a bump, that was for sure.

"W-what happened?" He asked, his words slurred. "Where am I? Who are you?"

"AHHHHHHH! THE BODY CAN TALK! HELP!" the girl screamed as she ran into a house on the corner. It took a moment for Colin to recognize the house was the same one on the TV screen.

"That girl is what I like to call, how do you say it... oh yeah, "ditzy," He thought.

He didn't have to wait long before the girl came back, this time with an older girl, probably her sister.

"See Lori, it's sitting up! IT'S A ZOMBIE!"

"Calm down, Leni, he's not a zombie and he isn't dead," the older girl named Lori said. She was wearing a tank top and short brown pants, with blond hair and a cell phone in her pocket. "Hey, sir? Are you OK? Sir?"

It took a second before he answered.

"Yyyyeah, I think so," he said as he took his hand off his head. But as he put his hand down, he realized that something was off. He looked at his hand to discover that instead of an actual human arm, his hand now resembled a drawing of some sort. He immediately felt sick as he feebly stood up.

"I need a mirror!"

"Look no further!" said Leni, handing him a small pocket mirror. "I always have one to do my makeup!"

He flipped open the mirror and glanced at his reflection.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Colin was still a human, but...at the same time, he WASN'T. His entire figure had changed. Instead of being a living, 3D figure, his whole body looked like something out of an old comic book, like someone had sketched him on a piece of paper.

"OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" he yelled as he began to panic. "WHERE AM I?!"

"Woah, calm down, buddy!" LTHE girl said, holding out her arms to protect herself. "You're in Royal Woods, Michigan, But you need to calm down right now. Do you have a name?"

He realized that panicking would be useless at that point. HE staggered over to the curb and sat down, putting his head into his palm.

"Y-yeah," he stammered. "It's C-c-colin. Colin Gomez."

"Alright, I've never heard of you before. You look really sick, sir."

"Stop calling me "sir." I'm 16," he mumbled to her. "Why do I look like this? Who are you?"

"Well, you look like this because you were born that way..." she sarcastically remarked. "And my name is Lori. Lori Loud. You probably already met Leni, my sister."

"I'm Leni. Or is it Lacey? Umm, or is it Laney? "

"She's not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer, is she?" Colin asked. If "Lori" I was gonna be sarcastic, then two could play at that game.

"Don't talk about my sister like that!" She said, threateningly. "Only I can say stuff about my sisters!"

"Oh, really?" He smiled. "And who died and made YOU the queen?"

"You're the sarcastic type, arent you? You must be a new student at our school."

"Your what?" He asked, before realizing he could get out of this mess.

"Oh yeah, the school!" He lied. "Definitely here to go to school!"

"Well, I'd assume so. You're getting here so late in the summer. Where's your house?"

He looked around, expecting to see Mama's apartment, but when he realized that he wasn't even in his own dimension anymore, he decided to lie some more.

"Oh, just down the street a little. We just got here today, and I was really tired from the car ride, so I just came to take a nap! Yep, that sounds about right!" He mumbled the last line to himself.

"In the middle of the road?" Lori said skeptically.

"Hey, don't question the genius of my mind, chica," he said, grabbing his I head again. "Well, I might as well go around and introduce myself to the neighbors..."

"Woah, woah, not so fast! Why don't you come and see our house first?"

"Um, ok? I don't see why not!" He replied, walking up to the house with the 2 girls. "What's the worst that could happen?"

 **2 Minutes Later...**

"So what should I expect when I get into the house?" Colin asked, reaching for the doorknob.

"Uh...I think it's best if you just open the door."

"Hmph. Sounds good to me..."

As soon as he opened the door to the Louds House, Colin was BLASTED off his feet by a wave of sound. A brown haired girl holding a guitar peered out the door and looked down at him.

"Ey, we got ourselves a guest, gals! And he's not too bad looking, either!" She said in an almost perfect British accent. She was rocking the whole "punk rock" look, with a short hairdo and a edgy jacket and skirt combo.

"I'm Luna. Nice to meet you, mate!"

"Colin," he said, still dazed. Out of nowhere, though, a football whizzed by his head like a bullet.

"I got it!" said another girl with longer brown hair and wearing a sports jersey. She caught the ball, and as she came back in, she seemed to notice Colins presence.

"Who's the new guy? Aw, does it matter? I'm Lynn!"

"Coli-" was all he could say until he was interrupted by two girls going at it. The one girl looked like she came straight out of a beauty pagent, while the other looked like she just got out of some sort of sewer diving class. Both had blond hair and two front teeth missing.

"Who's that?" they both said in unison.

"Hey, I asked first, Lana!" Said the beauty pageant girl.

"No, I asked first, Lola!"

Soon, they were going at it again, saying "I want to tell him MY name!" and "I want to tell him FIRST!"

"I'M COLIN!" He yelled out confused to the two as a shorter girl with a beaker of chemicals came through.

"WATCH OUT! THESE ARE SOME DANGEROUS CHEMICALS WERE DEALING WITH!" She yelled before she ran upstairs, which was followed by a loud "BOOM!"

Colin didn't even bother saying his name that time, because pretty soon ANOTHER girl came through, holding a baby in her arms. She had long brown hair held back by a hairband, while her teeth had braces on them. She wore a plaid skirt a a yellowish jacket.

"And then the cow said to the rabbit, "That was a HARE-RAISING tale! Ha ha ha, get it Lily?" She said to the baby she held in her hands.

"Poo Poo!" Was the girls only response.

"Who's this? -gasp- Hey, you must be new! I'm Luan! And I gotta say, it's ICE to meet you!" she said as she suddenly pulled the collar of his shirt and threw an ice cube in it. She laughed as Colin flailed around, trying to get it out of his shirt.

"I was gonna wait for Lincoln to come down, but I saw you and thought you needed to CHILL! Ha ha ha, get it?"

Colin got up and began to chuckle. He had pulled that joke a few times before.

"Lincoln? There's a guy in this house?" he asked, turning back to Lori.

"Yep. the only one, in fact. Lincoln? Get down here! We have a guest!"

Pretty soon, the same boy Colin had seen through the portal in the nebula was walking down the stairs.

"What do you want now, Lori?! Oh, hey," he said calmly, almost like he was expecting him to come in. "You must be new here. I'm Lincoln. You're probably wondering why there are so many girls here right now."

"Yeah," he said, taking a breath. "Believe me, it's nice to see another guy here."

"Well, I guess we covered everyon-"

"You forgot me," Said a monotone voice behind Colin.

"HOLY-" he said, holding his tounge around the smaller kids. Soon, he managed to stutter of a feeble response.

"And who are you?"

"I'm Lucy. I wrote a poem about people forgetting about me. Here it is. Forgotten. Alone. Sadness, Misery overtakes my soul-"

Now, instead of feeling confused, Colin was now scared, dumbfounded, and a little bit akward. He did NOT want to be around these people anymore. So, he thought fast.

"Wonderful! I may come back and listen to the rest later, but I JUST realized that my, uh, parents wanted me home by 7! So, bye!" He yelled as he ran out the door.

"I'M COLIN, BY THE WAY!"

He walked outside, but pretty soon he was stopped by Lincoln.

"You're not a new student at the school, are you?"

Colin was tired of lying at this point. He turned back to Lincoln, defeated.

"Look, kid, I'm still wondering where the hell I am right now. What is this place? How did you know I'm not a student?

"First off, my name is Lincoln. Second, if you don't know where you are right now, I doubt you even know where the school is. Third, there were no new houses for sale on our block. Fourth, you said you had to be home by 7, but it's 11 in the morning. I can see through any lie you spin."

"Not ominous at all... -sigh- Fine, I'm not a new student. The truth is…"

He stopped. Even if he told these kids the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, what are the odds they would believe in him? He already lied to the sisters, so he figured he wasn't trustworthy to them.

And so, seeing there was no other choice, he lied again.

"I'm homeless," he said, trying to spin a tale even Lincoln would believe. "I was kicked out of my house, hitchhiked here from upstate, and I'm trying to find a place to stay until I have enough money to go home. Are you happy now, Chico?"

"Very. But I just have one question for you. Why did you decide to come to Royal Woods?"

"Uhhh..."

Colin thought about the answer, the feeling he got when he was in the nebula, when he first noticed the world...

He turned to Lincoln, and told the truth.

"I don't know. It was just luck, I guess."


	4. Decisions

It was around that moment that the other children in the house had come to the doorway.

"Wait a minute...you lied to us?" Lori asked him, shocked.

"Well, uh, technically...yeah, I did," he sighed. "I'll be on my way, I guess..."

But as he turned to walk away, another voice chimed in.

"Wait, dude! Stay with us!"

"What?!"

"Luna, what are you-"

"Think about it, guys! He doesn't have any place to go! We can't just let him stay out here!"

"Actually, we could," Lucy schimed in, scaring everyone. "There's a lot of places for homeless people to go."

"Really?" Colin asked. "Where?"

"Well, there's the funeral home. And the mourge. And the-"

"Any other solutions?!" He desperately asked.

 **10 Minutes Later...**

Soon, the entire Loud family was on the front lawn, debating on whether to keep Colin or not. It seemed that everyone had taken sides on the issue.

"I don't want him to stay!" Lola cried out. "He'll get his hobo germs on all the furniture!"

"Dude, that's sick!" Lana said. "Let's keep him!"

"No! Even if we wanted to, we already have 11 kids here already!" Said Lori. "There just isn't enough room in our house!"

"Of course there is!" Leni said. "There's always room in our house! We just have to get him a room, though," she said as the whole group groaned.

By this point, Colin had been sitting on the front steps,patiently waiting for them to settle the argument. Eventually, though, he realized that the kids weren't going to stop anytime soon. He had to chime in.

He stood up, drew his breath, and interrupted the children.

"ALRIGHT! LISTEN UP!"

All the sisters and Lincoln turned their heads to listen to Colin.

"Ok, first off, I dont know any of you! Second off, why do you care so much about me? And third, do you people have any parents?!"

"Parents? Yeah, they're right behind you," said an unfamiliar voice.

Colin swung on his heel and found himself standing face to face with two middle aged people. They both stood about the same height, with the man having a pointed nose and brown hair. The lady had a large, blond hairstyle. But the one thing he noticed right off was that they did not look impressed. At all.

"Who are you and what are you doing on our front porch?" The mother said with a hint of anger in her voice.

All at once, the family shouted out answers, but the dad silenced them.

"Kids! Unless he's deaf, let him talk! Now, what's your name, son?"

That was the first time anyone had called Colin "son." He felt compelled to answer.

"Uh, well, my name is Colin Gomez. I-"

"Where's your house?"

"I, uh, don't really, exactly, well..."

"Well, WHAT?"

"I don't, uh, HAVE one. I'm homeless."

The two were silent for a minute, before the lady spoke up.

"Well, that's just as we thought. I think we should introduce ourselves. I'm Rita, and this is my husband, Lynn. We were listening to your argument out here, and we have to say, we're impressed at you."

"What? Why? Wait...where were you when this was all happening?"

"We were in our room when we heard your voice. We've been standing here for about 2 minutes."

"Oh," he said sheepishly.

"Anyways, we kind of figured you weren't a fake. For one, you had me convinced that the neighbors had moved. And second, you didn't ask any of my children for money, like most hobos around here do."

"No sir, I would never do that. I don't beg for anyone's money."

While Colin and his family weren't exactly living the high life, they weren't being forced to beg for scraps. For that alone, he was thankful.

"A respectable young man. I like that. Now, here's what we can do to help you."

"What? Oh, no, sir, I-"

"Seeing as we have no real space in our house," he continued on, not even taking the boys denial. "We can't offer you a room or anything. BUT, we can give you food, clothes, whatever you..."

"Wait! We have the basement, don't we?" Said the younger Lynn from the back of the crowd.

"Yeah, he can stay in the basement! I mean, he does look like he has a DARK personality! ha ha ha, get it?" Luan laughed as the rest of the family and Colin groaned.

"Well, I'm not opposed to the idea, are you, Rita?" asked Lynn Sr.

"Well, the basement does have a lot of room...and we DO have that old air mattress Aunt Ruth gave me… I don't see a problem with his staying for a few days."

"Well, then, it's settled! Providing, of course, that "Colin" here wants to stay."

Colin immediately voiced his dissatisfaction. Not that he didn't WANT a bed to sleep in, but this whole thing made him feel...AWKWARD.

"Oh, no, sir, I couldn't take up all you guy's space..." Colin tried to say, but he was interrupted by a chorus of boos from the kids.

"NO! DON'T LEAVE! I mean, what if other zombies invaded us?!"

"Dude, if you stay with us, the party will be NONSTOP! WE'LL PARTY LIKE IT'S 1999, BRO!"

"Weeell, he COULD stay. I mean, he WOULD be helping me get ready for my beauty pageants and all..."

"HA! you think he'd help YOU, sis? He'd obviously help me make mud pies in the yard!"

"I didn't finish my poem yet. He HAS been great inspiration, though..."

As the sisters said of all the uses of Colin, from a comedic assistant for Luan to a new "test subject" for Lisa, The frown on his face slowly grew into a smile. He had never known he could be this useful! Not even to Mama!

Mama.

The realization hit Colin like a truck. He couldn't stay. He had a family to go back to and help provide for. He couldn't let Mama and Chica starve!

But at the same time, the portal was gone. He had no way of getting back to San Diego. He was, to say the least, "Trapped."

Pretty soon, he held up his hand and made his final decision.

"Now, I can't stay here forever..." he said as the families smiles began to turn upside down.

"Buuut, seeing that I can't go home anytime soon, I might as well stay a day or two..."

"HOORAY!" cheered the Loud Kids as they brought Colin in for a hug.

Colin then turned to face the Loud parents.

"Sir, ma'am, If there is anything I can do to repay you, just let me know. I'll gladly do anything you-"

"Im gonna have to stop you there, Colin. You're a guest. Guests don't do work in our house. Stay as long as you want, and for Pete sakes, call us Rita and Lynn! now, I think there's an air mattress somewhere in the basement for you…"

 **5 Minutes Later.**..

After staying out to converse with the adults, Colin decided to go down and check out his new digs. But before he could make it up the stairs, he was stopped by Lincoln again.

"You're not from here, are you?"

"Lincoln, I already told you..."

"I know, I know! I mean not from HERE. As in, this world."

There was no answer from Colin, who instead stared at Lincoln like he had seen a ghost.

"G-go inside. We need to talk."

 **Inside...**

Colin sat facing Lincoln. After a while, he managed to murmer out a sentence.

"...How did you know?"

"Well, I was just waking up this morning. I was reading my Ace Savvy comic when I heard something outside, like a thud. I looked out my window, and I could see this, like, "Portal" thing close up."

"Did you see me at all? Did you look on the road?"

"No! I thought I was just dreaming! But seeing that you're here right now, I'll take it I didn't imagine ANY of that."

Colin got up and began to pace around the coffee table.

"Lincoln, what am I gonna do? I have a mother and sister to help provide for in MY world. They need me! Without me, they'll lose our house! Our store! I need to get home, but how?"

"Colin, I really wish I could help you, but that's just it - I have no idea how."

"But don't you know anyone that MIGHT know?! There has to be a genius or something!"

"Hmm... Colin, you just gave me an idea!" He shouted. "Did you know that one of the world's smartest people is just under your nose?"

"What?" He asked, confused.

"I mean my sister, Lisa. She knows science! And she might be able to give you some help!"

"Lisa?" Colin asked, trying hard to remember all of the girls names.

"Lisa. The short one, green sweater, glasses..."

"Oh yeah!" He said, remembering the little kid who ran upstairs with the chemicals. But, that didnt make any sense. He leaned over to Lincoln.

"How old is she exactly, Chico?"

"Four," Lincoln replied. "But she's already graduated from college, and has a PhD, AND a honorary doctorate from Harvard.

"Wow, thats loco," he said, holding his head. There was so much that had happened and no time to process it.

He suddenly realized he forgot to say thanks to anybody. He turned back to his newest friend and began to say his gratitude.

"Look, I gotta say thank you, Lincoln. For everything that's happened so far. Without you calling me out and having me say I was homeless, I would've been halfway gone by now. So, thanks for-"

"Don't thank me just yet, Colin. You don't know what it's like to live in a house this big, with this many sisters."

With that remark, Colin smirked and jumped up from his seat.

"Believe me, I'll learn eventually, Chico. I have to learn how to survive! I'm from the slums! It's what we do!"

And with that, Colin Gomez went downstairs to the basement, filled up an old air mattress, found himself an old pillow, and went to bed. Little did he know, or little did ANYONE know, for that matter, that this was the start of one of the most interesting years to ever take place in Royal Woods, Michigan. And for the whole time he was here, he vowed, he would have one goal in his mind at all times:

"Mama, Chica, I'll find a way home to you. I promise," he whispered under his breath. He turned off the lights, said a silent prayer like his grandma had taught him, and went to sleep.

And thus began the start of Colin Gomez' temporary new life in the Loud House.

 **I've been meaning to ask this for quite a while now, but would anyone be interested in doing a cover image for this story? I feel that it would be quite nice to be able to see a drawing of my OC, because I have NO drawing skill whatsoever. PM me if interested! Also, hit that Follow and Favorite button! It means a lot!**


	5. Lisa

He was outside, in the sun. He couldn't tell what was happening, though. The brightness left everything in minute silhouettes. All he could really make out was the shape of a female head.

"W-whats going on?" He asked, not sure exactly where he was.

"Oh, Colin. Colin, Colin, Colin..." the girl said in a squeaky voice. "You'll know eventually..."

"What's tha-"

"WAKE UP!" The girl shouted in a shrill tone that felt to him as if his eardrums were snapping. Soon, it was all a blur...

 **...**

Colin sat up with a start in his bed. He had slept on air mattresses before, but that was only because he was staying over at his friends houses. That was pretty irrelevant at that point, though. And it certainly didn't help him that the basement was the creepiest room in the house, either.

He had went to bed slightly hoping that everything that had happened was a dream, and that he would wake up in his normal bed with Mama and Chica in the other room. But as his eyes darted across the dark room, he soon realized that this was no dream.

He got up and began to pace around the room, using a flashlight that he had found at the foot of the steps as a guide. Thoughts zoomed through his mind as though they were at a race track.

He had never been too far away from Mama, but now he we felt like he was all alone in the world. Or his world, or whatever this world was...

Pretty soon, he found himself tired out from walking on the concrete floor. He laid down on the bed, closed his eyes, and was soon back to sleep.

 **Morning...**

The next morning, he got up, walked upstairs, and was greeted by mass chaos in the kitchen in the form of a...dust cloud?

"Hmmm... not something you see in San Diego..."

He wondered what all the siblings could possibly be arguing so...LOUDLY about, until he heard Lana scream over the crowd.

"The last pancake is MINE!"

"No! It's MINE!"

Pretty soon, Lynn Sr came stomping downstairs in a night robe., obviously not pleased with being woken up so early.

"QUIET!" he yelled.

Almost immediately, the arguing ceased. The kids all looked up at the source of the voice, save Colin.

"What in the name of God is going on down here?!"

Lola was the first one to speak up.

"Lori made us all pancakes for breakfast, and now there's only one left! And I should be the one to get it, because I WAS HERE FIRST!" she yelled as the argument resumed.

Once again, Lynn Sr managed to quiet his kids down, then resumed talking.

"Have ALL of you had at least one pancake?"

The sisters and brother all nodded their heads.

"Well, I know at least ONE person who hasn't."

He hten turned to face Colin, who had been picking at his fingernail the whole time.

"Would YOU like the last pancake, Colin?"

He looked up at Lynn Sr, who now had his full attention.

"Me?"

Now, Colin didn't usually eat breakfast. Most of his time in the morning was spent getting the store opened in time for rush hour. But, as it turned out, interdimensional travel makes one hungry. Everything that had happened the day before had practically STARVED him.

"Yes, sir, I would like that very much."

"Well, alright then. Girls, Lincoln, get him a plate and a fork. I'm going back to bed."

With that, he walked back upstairs to sleep.

After a couple of minutes, Colin sat down and ate the best breakfast he ever had. When he did eat breakfast at home, it was mostly microwaved waffles with a slab of butter on top. But of course, today was not in the slightest a normal day for Colin.

After eating the pancake, he walked into the living room, where Luna, Luan, and Leni were all sitting at the couch. Not really knowing what to do, he sat down on the floor in front of the couch.

"Uh, dude?" Luna said to him, "you DO know you're allowed to sit on the furniture, right?"

Realizing he was allowed to do anything a normal person would, he got up and sheepishly sat down.

After an uncomfortable silence for the next 5 minutes, he finally turned and asked Leni a question.

"So, Leni, who exactly IS everybody in this house?"

"Ummm, wait! Don't tell me!" Leni said, straining to come up with an answer. "Just hold on! I can do this!"

Luan quickly jumped in with an answer.

"Well, you've definetely seen Mom and Dad. There's Lori, who's the bossy one, Leni, the clueless one, Luna, the musical one, Me, the funny one, Lynn, the athletic one, Lincoln, the only boy, Lola and Lana, who are the twins, Lisa, the smart one, and then there's finally Lily."

Colin, counting all 10 siblings on his hands, asked, "Geez, how do you survive with 9 peopl-"

"You forgot me."

"Oh, yeah! I almost forgot about Lucy! the dark one! Hey, are you feeling alright?" Luan asked to Colin, who was currently trying to recover from the mini heart attack he just had. He replied a couple seconds later.

"Yeah, I'm OK...But I couldn't imagine living in a house this big. I'd personally prefer to live in a smaller home," He said, thinking about Mama and Chica again.

It was around that time that Luna picked hup the remote and turned on the TV. She flipped through channels until she came to the morning news. Unfortunately, she didn't expect Colins reaction to be so...well...

"AHHHHH! TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!"

"What? Why?" Leni asked as the boy jumped up and ran to behind the couch.

"JUST DO IT!"

"Ok, ok, I'm turning it off. Geez, dude, you must not have had good memories with TVs..."

"Yeah..." he murmered. These people didn't need to know the circumstances of why he was there...and they definitely wouldn't be any help getting him back.

He suddenly remembered what Lincoln had told him the other night. Lisa! He had to go tell her his problem!

"Hey, uh, I know this may sound weird, but where can I find Lisa?" He asked to everybody in the room.

Luna, confused, was the first to ask.

"Uh, why do you need her?"

"I, uhh, well, have to discuss with her my latest scientific research," he lied, which just made the sisters more confused.

"LISA! THE HOMELESS DUDE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!" Luna suddenly yelled to the top of the stairs. Pretty soon, the young girl that Colin saw with the chemicals last night came down the stairs, looking more annoyed than useful.

"Whatever this is about, I expect it to be good," she told Colin. "I was in the middle of working on my latest thesis, and I have no time to lose."

"Yeah, uh, I think the thesis can wait. You're gonna want to hear what I have to say."

"Oh, really? Well, try me. I'm sure you can't say anything that would leave me awestruck."

"Hmph. We'll see..."

 **Lisas Room...**

As he told his problem to the girl, her expression changed from curiosity, to confused, to startled, to pure, well, awestruck.

"Incredible!" She stated. "A portal to a different dimension, you say? And you say that this all happened right outside our house?"

"Believe me, I couldn't make this stuff up even if I tried. I need to get back to my dimension, and Lincoln said to talk to you about it."

"Of course he did," she sighed. "Like I expected him to help you deal with opening interdimensional portals. Amatures..."

"So, uh, can you be any help here, or not?"

"Hmmm...I actually may be able to give you some assistance here..."

"Really?! You have something?" He said, the excitement brewing in him.

"As a matter of fact, yes!" She stated with certainty as she began digging through her closet.

"I've been working on my latest invention lately, which is conveniently able to, you guessed it, open portals to other universes. It's still not functionable, but if you give me a couple minutes, I might be able to get it up and running."

"Take all the time to need! I just want to get home as quick as I can!"

"Very well. Wait right here for a minute."

With those words, Lisa dove into the closet to get her portal machine. As soon as she was gone, he made his way downstairs again, where the sisters were still in the living room, unaware of what had just happened.

"Hey, has anyone seen my sunglasses?"

"They're right on your head, Leni."

"Oh! I always forget to check there!"

"Sadness. Regret. The feeling of a soul dropping into the abyss of life."

"Hey, why did the turkey cross the rosd? Because it was the chickens day off! Ha ha ha, get it? Hey, what are you smiling about?"

Colin, quickly realizing the huge smile on his face, simply said, "I have a feeling that I won't be staying here for much longer, amigo."

In reality, he was thrilled that he might be able to see Mama and Chica again, and hopefully write this whole thing off as a distant memory. Honestly, these people were starting to make him a little uncomfortable, and he couldn't wait to get away from all of them and get back on the normal train of things.

Soon, they heard Lisa walking to the steps.

"You all set, Lisa?"

"Yes!" she said as she walked down the stairs, a large, bulky object in her arms. "Now, to just run over a few things down there and we should be all set for-"

 **CRASH!**

"Oh my God, Lisa!"

The sisters yelled as they ran over to the stairs. When they got there, they saw her sitting down and rubbing the side of her head

"I'm fine, I'm fine," she said, standing up. "Just tripped over my foot..."

Her voice trailed off as she looked at the spot her experiment layed.

"What happened?!" Colin said as the rest of the family came down to help Lisa. He then noticed the experiment, and his heart immediately sunk.

While the fall might not have broken anything in Lisas body, you couldn't exactly say the same for the machine. Pieces of it lay all around the base of the stairs. The bulk of it, which looked like some sort of old video game system, lay at the base of the door.

"My interdimensional jumping device..."

"My way home..."

"Geez, talk about a fall from glory!" Luan interjected in an attempt to lighten the mood, but it was met with nothing but cold stares.

Colin crouched down, making himself level with Lisa. Quietly, he asked her the question, a stone cold demeanor on his tone.

"Do you think you could fix it?"

She sighed, looking at the broken heap of metal. She could sadly see the reality of the situation.

"No. All of the key exponents to the parts are shattered. I'll have to rebuild it from the start."

"And, uh, how long will that take you, chica?"

Slowly, she answered.

"Well, considering all the time that I spent upon this machine, plus reobtaining all of the rare parts to replace, and the sheer cost of it all, my best estimate is...about 12 to 14 months."

Colin was speechless. 12 whole months? That was an entire year! Lisa was trying to calmly break the news to him that he was stuck in this world for an entire year?! What about the store?! His friends?! Mama and Chica?! He expected just a few minutes ago that he was leaving this hour, now he had to wait an entire calendar year?!

Colin, who was trying his hardest to not let emotions show, stood up, and holding back tears, walked down to the basement.


	6. Staying

As soon as Colin reached the basement, he felt tears rush down his cheeks. The last 2 nights had been the most stressful, emotional days of his entire life. Before today, he had cried about 5 times in his life, but today, of course, was not a normal day in the slightest.

He couldn't believe in the horrible luck he had had over the last 2 days. First, he was transported to this world, and now this? Mama and Chica wouldn't be able to keep their house! Their store! They would be on the streets! And it would be all his fault...

"Hey."

He looked up. Through blurred eyes, he could make out all of the kids standing in the doorway.

He wiped his eyes and looked away. He couldn't let these people see him like he was: vulnerable.

"What are you doing down here?" Here finally asked. After a second, an answer.

"Lisa told us everything," Lincoln said. "The portal, her machine, your family..."

Colin sighed and turned to face them, now feeling more defensive than emotional.

"It doesnt matter anymore, Chico," he snapped. "They'll probably be either moved or dead by the time I get back. And there isn't anything left to do about it."

Again, silence. This time, though, a small voice came from the back of the crowd.

"That actually isn't true...according to my calculations, I could probably get the new machine done in 10 months instead of 12."

Noticing that her calculations weren't cheering him up, she quickly added her condolences.

"I'm sorry I dropped the machine, Colin, I really am. But there isn't anything else to do but get to work on the new one."

All of a sudden, he was overcome with grief. The roller coaster had hit another loop, so to speak.

"And it really isn't the fact that they're all alone, though!" he blurted out. "Look at me! I'm in a strange place, I look strange, and I don't know anybody here! And what am I supposed to do for the next 12 months? I mean, I can't just sit here in the basement!"

"Of course you can't, Colin," Lori said. "But you can't give up!"

"Uh, yeah, I can," he said, standing up. "I'm doing it right now."

"Wait!"

He looked back at the voice who had cried out. It was Luna this time.

"Look, dude, I know you're confused right now. But you can't just leave! Where will you go?"

"Somewhere ft hat isn't here, that's for sure..."

"Dude, we already have an air mattress set up and everything! AND the school always accepts new kids!"

"The school?" He asked, confused. "Why would I-"

He suddenly realized what she was implying.

"No."

"C'mon, dude! This is-"

"Nope! Not doing it."

"But, but-"

"Sorry, no is no!"

"And why not?" An older kid asked.

"Umm, first off, do you really want a drifter living in your basement?!"

There was a mixture of 'I don't care...' and 'absolutely!'

"Well, what about your parents? They wouldn't-"

"Dude, if our parents are chill enough to let you stay a night, they won't mind you staying for 10 months. Believe me."

He sat back down on the bed, his mind beginning to delve into conflict.

"Well, dude? What's it gonna be?"

Colin thought long and hard about it. If he stays here, then he would be guaranteed a place to stay and live. He would go to school, find new friends, and...

Maybe, just maybe, he thought, he might have a chance. A chance to see what life was like on the good side of things. Not the slums, not fighting for survival, but just living. Colin, always the scrappy opportunist, saw prospect in the arrangment.

He made up his mind in almost no time.

"Well, geez...I mean, I guess if it's ok with your parents..."

"YES!" They all said with happiness in their voices.

"But there IS a problem, guys. I hardly know any of you..."

There was a long silence as the kids thought of a solution.

Luna chimed in after another minute.

"Well, I guess we'll just have to get to know each other better, mate. We still got 2 weeks before school starts again. That's plenty of time for you to find out what we're like."

Colin thought about home. Mama. Chica. San Diego. They would miss him, indeed, but...these 11 people who had just offered him a spot in their already massive family. A family he never had...

If this new life was to be radically different, then he was willing to risk it.

Pretty soon, he was grinning as he told Luna his final decision.

"Yeah, I guess that would work... hermana."

Luna looked at him, confused.

"Uhh...what does that mean?"

He smiled.

"Well, in Spanish, it means 'sister.'''

Colin stood up and spread his arms out for a hug.

"Awwwww!" The girls and Lincoln said as they got up and gave Colin the biggest hug he had ever had. He hugged them back, then turned and thought out loud to himself.

"You know, I'm gonna miss Mama and Chica. But honestly, there isn't any way that I'm going home any time soon. So I might as well just go with the flow for a while. I'll bide my time here, and when Lisa gets the portal machine up and running, then I'll go home."

He stopped and looked down with a smile at his adoptive family.

"But, for now, I think that I'm going to enjoy being in the Loud House."

Little did he know that by the next year, he'd find out that he wouldn't trade the world for living with these guys.

 **Oh, boy! What happens next? Will Colin get home? Will he meet new friends? Will Lonzo Ball be drafted by the LA Lakers? Find out next time, on "A Year As A Loud!"**


	7. School

**Disclaimer: This takes place before "Relative Chaos."**

 **One week later...**

As Colin looked into the mirror, he asked himself some deep questions.

"Am I really ready to do this? I mean, SCHOOL?" he asked himself as he wiped his face with a rag. "I mean, this is a big step...No, wait, a MASSIVE one…"

The last week had been probably the craziest ride of his life. It had been relatively easy to enroll him in the local foreign pupil program. Although he technically wasn't an exchange student, Colin figured they wouldn't be able to fully grasp the, er, 'situation' at hand.

He had started the last week trying not to die, and now here he was, standing in a new families bathroom, ready to start his first day of school.

Colin had been to school before, but it wasn't exactly what you would call a 'high class education'. Most of the kids there were on free lunches, the gym was decaying, and most importantly, no one liked him. His friends were the kids that rarely showed up at school, and spent most of their time smoking, drinking, or a combination of the two.

But today, he realized the big chance that he had.

"Maybe I'll actually make some friends, for once," he said to himself in the mirror. "Or maybe the teachers will like me. Or maybe even a girl could talk to me! Oh, Mama would be so proud..."

His voice trailed off as he thought of Mama and Chica. Suddenly, he felt a rush of anxiety come on.

He stumbled away from the sink, and eventually sat down on the edge of the bathtub.

"They'll be fine…" He said, trying to reassure himself. "T-they'll find a new employee or something... they can't just have no one worki-"

"COLIN, HURRY UP! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR LITERALLY 2 HOURS TO GET IN HERE!"

He jumped at the sound of Loris voice. His train of thought had been derailed for a moment.

"Ok, ok, he patient, chica! Sheesh!" he stuttered as he walked out of the bathroom.

His whole appearance had been changed over the course of the past week. Instead of wearing his old Chargers shirt and ragged shorts, he wore new jeans and a University of Michigan hoodie. He also had a buzz cut and had shaved what little of a beard he had.

On top of all that, he had had many firsts, too. Such as his first shower in years, his first real sit down dinner, and an actual 'brother.'

Yes, he knew Lincoln wasn't really his brother. BUT, if they were really going to live in the same house, they needed to get to know each other better.

 **Last Night, The Couch...**

"Sooo, what do you like to do?" Colin asked Lincoln as he read a book.

"Well, I like to watch TV. And, umm, I like video games."

"Anything else?"

"Hmmm...no, not that I can think of, really…"

"Seriously? All you like is with the stupid TV?"

"Woah, Colin, settle down. What do you have against TV?"

"Chico, I've never even owned anything remotely related to a TV, and when I bought one it sucked me into it. So yeah, not very good first impression, if you ask me."

"How about comic books? Do you like those?"

He thought for a minute. He used to read the comic books on the shelves in the bodega when it was closed, but he really couldn't remember all the characters.

He did recall one, however.

"Oh yeah, I like comic books! My favorite was this one guy called, umm, 'Stupor Man!'"

"Who?" Lincoln asked, confused.

"Stupor Man? You've never heard of him?"

"No...but MY favorite is Ace Savvy. He's a crimefighter. There's a comic book on the table if you want to read it."

"Aww, sweet!" he said as he picked it up, beginning to read.

 **Present Day...**

And so Colin and Lincoln had sorta, kinda, somehow bonded by the first day of school.

But there were still 10 sisters left in the house to get to know, and he knew that wouldn't be so easy. He would have to count his chickens after they hatched, however. Lori was forcefully pushing him out of the house at that point.

 **10 Minutes Later…**

After -barely- managing to get all the kids in the car and get to school, Colin was sent to homeroom, where he was given a scedule and pencil. The teacher read off the names on his attendance sheet, and then made an announcement.

"Ladies, gentlemen, I believe we have a new student. Where's, umm, Colin G. Loud?"

At first, he didn't move, but eventually realized who the teacher was talking about and began to get up.

"Colin Loud?" he thought to himself as he stood up. "Why would they have my last name as Loud?"

He barely managed to squeak out a sentence as he faced his audience.

"Er, hi. Ummm, I'm Colin. And, it's nice to meet all of-"

"Where are you from, kid?" A short kid with red hair in the back asked.

"Umm, California. San Diego to be specific," he answered, feeling slightly more confident with his speaking.

His announcement of where he was from was met by a barrage of questions.

"Was it hot down there?"

"Is San Diego in Mexico?"

"Are you a Chargers fan?"

"Yes, No, and most definitely," he said as the teacher restored order to the classroom.

"Well, uh, Mr. Loud, that's very interesting. Now, I'll be your homeroom teacher for the rest of the year. My name is-"

The bell rang before she could get her name out. It was futile to try and say anything at that point, and Colin jumped up and headed for the door.

He walked out of class, carrying his books under his arm. Before he even got 10 steps down the hall, though, someone had rammed into him from the side.

"Hey, ¡Mira adonde vas, amigo!" He annoyingly said to the person as he began to pick up his stuff.

"Uh, did, you just speak Spanish to me?" The kid asked, beginning to help him with his stuff.

"Sí. ¿Tienes algún problema con eso, amigo?" he asked, beginning to get more angry than annoyed at the kid.

"No hay problema. ¿cuál es tu nombre?"

Colin looked up to find he was speaking to another Hispanic kid.

"My name? Colin. Colin Gomez," he said, beginning to smile. At least he knew he wasn't alone there.

"It's nice to see another Latino guy here," the kid said, handing him his math book. He was tall and lean, and was wearing a flannel button down with blue jeans.

"I'm Bobby. Bobby Santiago."

"Good to meet you, Bobby. Hey, uh, do you know where the Civics classroom is? I have no idea where I'm going…"

"Oh yeah, sure, sure. You just go down the hall and take a left tur- Hey, Lori!" He said, standing up straight as Lori walked towards them.

"Hey, Boo Boo Bear!" she said as the two hugged. "I see you met Colin!"

"Wait, you KNOW him?" Bobby asked, looking back at Colin with interest.

"Yeah! He's an exchange student, right, Colin?"

"Yeah, yeah...Uhhh, did you just call him 'Boo Boo Bear?'" Colin asked, confused.

"Oh, yeah! Colin, Bobby here is my boyfriend. You two should hang out some time! I gotta go now!"

"Umm, ok?" He said as Lori walked away to get to class. "So,;where's the room again?"

"The what?"

"Seriously? The room we were JUST-"

"Oh, yeah, the civics room!" he remembered. "It's down the hall and to the left. You better hurry though, or else you'll be late."

"Ok, thanks, man!" Colin shouted as he rushed down the hall.

Did he just make a new friend? And he was actually connected to the Louds?

He would have to think about it later, he thought. The bell had rung for first period. He was already late to class for the year.

 **Alright, I'm just gonna say it now: I HATE THIS STUPID SHOW!**

 **Also, shame on you if you actually believe that. I love the show, but last nights episode...GAHHH! I already miss Ronnie Anne! And Bobby! The Mom, I could care less about, but those two?! Why not Rusty?! Who cares about him? NOT ME, that's for sure!**

 **Now, don't get me wrong, the episode was wonderfully done, and also a bit of a barrier breaker (My boy CJ in the house!). But God, DAMN IT, this show is draining my mental health! I almost was ready to cry last night, that's how bad it got! ( In case you didn't notice by now, I'm a Ronniecoln kind of guy.)**

 **Anyway, I'm getting WAY off track here. Thanks for reading, and remember, Likes, Reviews, Favorites are ALWAYS appreciated. Ciau!**


	8. Lunch

**3 Hours Laters…**

Usually, the first day of school was a cakewalk for most students. Sure, you might get homework, but it would be the easy stuff, like multiplying fractions or something like that. Unfortunately, that wasnt the case in Royal Woods, especially for Colin.

After probably the longest 3 hours of his life, he staggered into the lunchroom, hoping for something to eat to take off the edge on his mind. It was only the first day, yet he had been given homework in 3 classes already, been yelled at a teacher for not knowing how to do a math problem, and he had known absolutely no one in this classes. So it wasn't exactly a banner day for him up to that point.

Once he got to the cafeteria, though, his hopes soared. Maybe he would finally get to meet new people, for once!

He got his food from the line and walked into the eating space, looking for a place to sit down.

"Ok, just go sit down at a table. Anyone is probably gonna let me sit down... at least, I HOPE they do. Maybe they'll move, or maybe I'll be laughed at and forced to-"

"Hey Colin! Sit over here!"

He looked to ver to see Leni, Luna, and Luan all sitting at a lunch table together.

"Well, so much for THAT dream..." he mumbled as he sat down at the table.

"So how's the first day going, dude? Stressed out yet?"

He sighed and put his head on his hand.

"Well, I can't name any of the presidents in civics, I can barely do long division, and I can't tell the difference between an aardvark and an anteater. But on the bright side, I'm decent in gym basketball."

"I guess you could say he's SHOOTING for the stars!" Luan laughed as the table groaned. Except for Colin, who laughed.

"Oh yeah, I'm the best player we had today! It doesn't really do favors for them that I'm huge, either. It's like 5 years old niños playing against Lebron!"

Luan laughed at the joke. After spending time around Lynn, she knew quite a bit about basketball.

"Hey, where's Lori, though?" Colin asked, looking around.

"Who?"

"Just ignore Leni, unless it's really important, mate. She sits with Bobby at the table 2 spots behind us."

Suddenly, a familiar voice rose above the crowd.

"Lori, check it out! Let's eat lunch over there!"

"Uh, Bobby, are you sure you want to sit next to my sisters? They can be-"

"Yeah, yeah! Besides, Colin can speak Spanish! It'll be fun!"

Even though it was crowded, they could still hear Lori groan with disapproval.

"Ugh, fine! But you owe me for letting you do this!"

With that, she walked off to sit with her friends, leaving Bobby to walk over and sit adjacent to Colin.

"Oye, Colin! ¡mucho tiempo sin verte!"

"Lo sé, es como si no te hubiera visto desde el primer período!"

"Wait, what are you guys saying?" Leno asked, still as confused as ever.

"Well, shouldn't you know, Leni?" Colin smirked.

"Well, sorry! I don't speak Italian!"

"Oh, boy…" he said, silently laughing to himself.

"Wait, you're a junior, right?" Bobby asked Colin.

"Yeah...I'm actually the exchange student for the year," he lied, figuring it much easier to explain than the truth. "I'm from Mexico."

"Hey, TACO bout a close relationship! Ha ha, get it?"

Colin looked at Luan, shaking his head with a smile.

"Im guessing you like comedy," he said, relieved that someone else liked what he liked.

"Heck yeah! I could probably tell you all the jokes I know right now! Both setup AND punchline!"

"Oh god," Luna said as she laughed. "please save us the torture!"

Colin didn't even know what was happening then. It was if all of a sudden, he didn't care about the jokes anymore.

He was too busy focusing on the girl with the short, brown hair and rock star look who was just laughing her head off in front of him. She looked...nice. Really nice.

He saw her flip her hair to the side, showing her soft, brown ey-

"Colin? Colin!"

He snapped out of his trance, confused.

"You ok, chico? You look sick…"

Not really knowing what had happened, he lied again.

"No, I'm ok, Bobby. It's just that... that..."

"That what?"

"It's just that this cafeteria food is DELICIOUS!" He said, changing the subject at the last minute. "Best thing I've ever eaten!"

"Dude, you think that the fish sandwich they're serving is GOOD?"

"Hey, as long as it goes DOWN, it has no business being brought UP again," he said. He was done talking about it.

The bell rang overhead. It was time for class again.

And so, Colin ate the last of his lunch, went to class, and went back to the Loud House, not really knowing or realizing what had happened earlier at that lunchtable. But little did he know that it would lead to the biggest moment of his life.


	9. Lucy

Colin walked out of the basement on Saturday morning, tired from the long week he had just had. He rarely had ever attended school in San Diego, and when he did, he hardly ever bothered to do his homework.

That, unfortunately for him, wasn't the case anymore. He had to write a 2 page paper about himself, finish his civics worksheet, and do math problems out of the book. And there were a LOT of them.

"How am I gonna do all of this?" he thought out loud as he poured himself a glass of orange juice from the fridge and sat down at the table. He hurriedly ate his breakfast, and once done, pondered more.

"I guess I do have all weekend, though. I might as well start-"

"Good morning."

"GOD DA-" he yelled as Lucy surprised him from behind. The chair he was sitting in leaned backwards, spilling him onto the tile.

He picked himself up and glared at the girl.

"Lucy! You know I hate it when you sneak up on me!"

"Sorry," she said in her average, monotonous voice. "It's a habit. I need your help, Colin."

He turned to face her.

"My help? With what?"

"I'm writing another poem, and I need inspiration."

"Me? Inspiration? I dont think those two-"

"Well, you're perfect, considering the title of it."

"Well what's the title, happiness?" He sarcastically asked, dusting bits of crumbs off of his shirt.

"The title, is Loneliness."

"Gee, thanks," he said, slightly weirded out and insulted. "So, what do I need to do?"

"It's simple. Just do what you usually do every day. I'll just observe."

"Hmmm…" he thought, looking back to his backpack.

"Well...I guess the work can wait a while. I'll help you, chica."

"Good. You won't even notice I'm there."

Colin blinked, and in that time Lucy had vanished.

The rest of the day, Colin did his usual thing. He ate his breakfast, watched TV (after checking to see if the glass was really there or not,) went to the courts to shoot hoops, and did his homework. The only catch was that the whole time, Lucy was standing or sitting beside him.

"Uh, Lucy, I think you should leave."

"We had a deal, Colin. You said-"

"Well, I know what I said, but...I'm getting in the shower."

"Ok?"

"Just, wait outside the door!"

 **5 Hours Later…**

At the end of the day, after getting back to the house from the basketball court, he turned to ask her another question.

"So, did you get enough inspiration for the poem?"

"Not yet. I need you to do something extremely depressing and heartbreaking. Then I might have enough."

"Ummm," he said as he tried to think of something really sad and depressing. Unfortunately, he drew a blank.

"How about I, uhhh..."

"Nevermind," she said suddenly. "You're trying too hard."

With that, she vanished with a blink once again.

Colin went back down to the basement, more confused than he had been in the morning.

 **Monday...**

"WAKE UP, KIDS! WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!"

"Uhhhhhhngh..." Colin said as he checked his alarm clock the family had bought him when he got stuck here.

"7:55?! I'M GONNA BE LATE!" he cried out as he got dressed. He ran upstairs, only to be greeted by mass confusion in the living room.

"Oh my god, Bobby, we are TOTALLY going to be late!"

"According to my calculations, we have approximately 3.43 minutes to get out oof our driveway before we can be considered late. Taking in the fact that..."

"Sorry, Clyde, we're running late for school. Cadet Lincoln, out."

"Has anyone seen my backpack?" He asked, to no avail. Though his height created an imposing figure, no one was paying attention to him.

He finally found his backpack, his English paper on top of it from the work he had done last night. Not looking at it, he shoved all the papers into his backpack and ran out the door to the car.

Later in the day, he walked into English Class, confident that his paper would get him his first A in the class.

"Now to proofread before presenting!" He said to himself as he got his paper out to fix mistakes.

"Oh, no."

Instead of his paper, he stared down at a piece of poetry. The title read, "Loneliness, by Lucy Loud"

"God damn it!" He swore under his breath as he put the paper face down on his desk. "Lucy must have given me her copy to read! My reports on the table!"

He put his head down on his desk, groaning at his own stupidity.

"Maybe I can get lucky and read tommorow!" he reassured himself. "Yeah, that's what's gonna-"

"Colin, would you like to read first?"

"Oh god," he mumbled as he stood up. "I'm done for."

He read the poem, trying to make it sound less dark and gloomy than it was. And say what he might about Lucy, Colin had to admit that she was a terrific poet.

"Well, um, that was... interesting, Colin." his teacher said, a bit confused. "A different way to look at your life, through poetry, nonetheless. I'm giving you an B Plus."

Colin, pleasantly surprised that his presentation wasn't a train wreck, breathed a sigh of relief. He had survived a close call with doom.

 **3 Hours Later...**

After school, he walked back to the house, where none other than Lucy was waiting for him on the front steps.

"You took my poem."

"Sorry, Lucy, but I was in a hurry to get to the car, and I grabbed the wrong-"

"What grade did you get on it?"

Colin, slightly taken aback, answered.

"Uhh, a B+, I think."

"-sigh- once again, my style of writing is written off as weird and strange. Still, I wouldn't have the poem anyway without you. So thanks."

"No problem..." he said as she walked upstairs, this time in plain sight.

"I am NEVER going to understand her," Colin said as he walked back to the basement, mentally preparing himself for another day of whatever the Loud House brings him.


	10. Leni

**To everyone who read this chapter before: sorry! Made a mistake. Here's the REAL chapter. Enjoy!**

"Colin! Where are you?!"

The shouting that woke Colin didn't come from upstairs in the Loud children's rooms, nor did it come from the living room. Rather, the yell had come from the door at the foot of the basement steps, where Colin had made his room.

"Leni? Is that you?" He asked to the girl on the other side of the door.

"Yeah... I think so. Please let me in!"

"Turn the doorknob!"

"Oh yeah!" She said as she opened the door and walked into the basement. "What will they think of next?"

"-sigh- Chica, you're the definition of sweetness, but you have the brains of a goldfish," he said

"Oh, I'm just not good with doors!"

Well, yeah, I can see that…" he muttered. Though he had only been in the house for about a month up to then, he could tell immediately that Leni was… DIFFERENT.

"Anyway, I need your help, Connor."

"Leni, for the last time, my name is Colin. But what do you need?"

"Well, I have this really big test in Civics coming up, and you seem good at it. So I was wondering if you could help?"

"Ummm, Leni, I hope you know that I have a 64 in that class..."

"Well, that's better than a 71, at least! Wait, is having a lower score good or bad?"

It took him a moment to answer back.

"I think that you're thinking of golf, Chica. But If you want me to help you-"

"Oh, thank you Carter! I'll be ready by 9 AM today!"

"Any time, Leni..." he said as she walked out of the basement. "Wait, 9 am today?"

He checked his alarm clock to see the time.

"1 am. Classic Leni." He chuckled as he fell back asleep.

"Well, 9 am." Colin said as he walked up the stairs to the living room. After his early morning meeting with Leni, he was prepared to take on the challenge of tutoring someone. Even though he had never been a student that excelled at school, he had actually been trying to listen to his teacher for the past week.

Needless to say, Colin was ready to take on the challenge.

"Good morning, Leni," He said as he sat down at the kitchen table.

"Oh, hey Cameron! Ready to study?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," he said as she sat down beside him. "Now, Leni, can you remember the first 10 presidents?"

"That's easy! Washington, Madison, Bush, Pratt, Bacon, Kaepernick, and Hillary Clinton!"

After a minute of trying to figure out the jumbled mess that he had heard, he said, "To be positive, you got the first one right, Chica. But other than that, only 3 were actually presidents, two of them are movie stars, the others a football player, and the other one kinda, sorta lost."

"Oh... umm, ok..." she said as she opened her history book. "Well, there's still time to get better, I guess…"

 **3 hours later...**

"Ok, we're getting closer, but only the first two were right this time. You have the rest all out of order, TRUMP is the new president, and for the last time, Kevin Bacon was never the president!"

Leni put her head in her hands.

"Oh, I can't do this, Colin!" She said, exasperated. "I just don't understand how to get them all in order!"

Colin was about to give a smart alec wisecrack, until he saw that Leni was beginning to tear up. He had to think fast.

"Well, first off, thanks for getting my name right. And I have an idea."

"-sniffle- You do?"

"Yes, and I think it might just work. You like the mall, right?"

"OMG, WE'RE GOING TO THE MALL?!"

"No, no, that's not what I meant..." he said, much to Lenis disappointment. "Maybe later, though, if we get through this! Now, what's the first store you see when you go into the mall?"

"That's the Starbucks kiosk, I think..."

"Ok, now just imagine that George Washington is the person behind the counter at Starbucks."

"Ha, don't be silly, Kevin! Even I know George Washington is dead!"

"Well, just imagine figuratively then. Now, did we say Washington was at Starbucks?.."

The rest of the day, Colin helped to get Leni ready for the test. In fact, they got carried away in all the excitement of their new study method. Before they knew how much time had passed, the clock struck 4 P.M.

"Oh! It's already 4?" Leni asked, looking up.

"I guess so," he responded, packing his things up. "I have to go."

"What? Why?"

"Bobby wants to hang out. But practice that, Leni! You can only get better!"

He got up and walked out the door to wait.

 **9:00 P.M...**

"Washington, Adams, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, Quincy Adams, Jackson, Van Buren, Harrison, Tyler, Polk, Taylor, Fillmore, Pierce, Buchanan, Lincoln, Johnson, Grant, Hayes, Garfield, Arthur, Cleveland, Harrison, Cleveland again, McKinley, Roosevelt, Taft, Wilson, Harding, Coolidge, Hoover, FDR, Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, LBJ, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, HW Bush, Clinton, W Bush, Obama, Trump!" Leni recited proudly as she brushed her teeth in the bathroom.

"Leni, I am extremely impressed that this actually worked," Colin said as he waited to brush his teeth. "I mean, even I wouldn't think of JFK "losing his head" over his pay at Peebles!"

"I just hope that I remember everything for tomorrow," she said to him.

"If you just keep practicing reciting them, you'll be fine. I'm going to bed, night Leni!"

"Night, Chris!" She yelled as Colin reached the foot of the stairs.

"At least she got it right once..." he mumbled as he packed his lunch for lunch the next day.

 **The Next Day...**

At lunch, Colin was talking with Bobby and Lori when Leni came up to him with her test.

"The teacher let us grade our own test!" She said, but Colin was too busy looking at the letter at the top of the test.

"An F?!" He said, shocked. "B-but how?! We studied the whole-" he stopped as the looked at the title of the test again.

"-Sigh- Leni, this test wasn't on the presidents at all! It was on U.S. Senators!"

"Huh? Let me see!" She said, taking the paper from him. Pretty soon, she handed the paper back to Colin as tears welled in her eyes.

"Oh, Chica, don't cry," he said as Leni sat down. "I know you cared about passing the test, but honestly, it isn't really that important. 5 points doesn't make the grade, after all."

"Well, I guess you're kinda right," she said as she pit the test on her backpack. "And besides, The teachers letting me take it again anyways! So, do you want to help me study again, Colin?"

"I would be honored to, Leni." He said as he got out his History Book. "Now, imagine Bernie Sanders is working at Starbucks…"


	11. Lola

As Colin Gomez-Loud ate his dinner in the kitchen, he did something he rarely did anymore: he thought of Mama and Chica.

Although Colin was far from crying about it anymore, it still stung to think about it. Sure, it may have been a few months since he had seen them last, but still… he had practically been ripped away from them. He hadn't been able to say goodbye, tell them that he loved them… he wasn't bitted, just disappointed in HIMSELF.

"I wonder how they're doing without me," he thought. It probably wasn't surprising that he was missing. People in San Diego had a tendency to 'disappear' if they knew anything about, say, a shady gang deal or what not.

Considering his group of friends, Colin assumed that everyone expected him to either be beaten, kidnapped, or killed. If not all of that.

"I hope Chica doesn't miss me a whole lot. Her birthdays coming up, anyway..." he said as he checked the calender on the fridge.

November 16. Her birthday was exactly a week from today.

"I wish I was still there for them. They could really use-"

"COLIN!"

He jumped out of his chair at the unmistakable sound of Lolas' voice. Glaring at her, he said, "You're still not as creepy as Lucy, but still..."

"I expect that you know about me and Lanas birthday in 2 days. I'm just here to make sure that you remembered."

"Remember? How could I forget?" He lied, with much more concern in his eyes. "No one ever tells me anything," he said under his breath as she turned around again.

"What was that?"

"Nothing! Oh, it's nothing! Just, heh, a breeze, yeah! A breeze…"

She scoffed and began to turn back around, but she turned to face him once more.

"Oh, and Colin? I EXPECT A PRESENT."

Slightly startled by his sisters strong tone, he responded.

"Already taken care of, Chica mejor. Expect the best present that you've ever gotten!"

"I expect nothing less," she scoffed as she walked to the living room.

 **The next day...**

"C'mon, CMON! There HAS to be something good in here!" Colin said to Lincoln and his friend, Clyde McBride, as he searched the children's section of clothing at JCPennys.

"Ummm, I'm not sure that clothing isn't gonna be the way to go here, Colin," Clyde said as he frantically paced around the room. "I don't usually pay attention to Lola, but when I do see her, she's always wearing the same thing."

"Clyde, Lincoln, if I don't get Lola the best present EVER, I'm toast!" he said/shouted, grabbing at his hair. "There are 3 rules in the Loud House: no swearing, no fighting, and DO NOT MAKE LOLA MAD! And I've only known her for 3 weeks!"

"If you want to make Lola happy, I think you should get her something princess-ey. Like a tiara! Or a Beauty Pageant thing!"

"Lincoln, you are a genius!"

They made their way to a costume store, where that found a somewhat expensive looking tiara. However, when they took it to checkout, they received a rude awakening.

"200 DOLLARS?!"

"Sir, I'm not sure if you realize it, but that tiara was manufactured by the same company that owns Rolex," the timid looking cashier said monotonically. "Needless to say, it's expensive."

"But seriously, two hundred? There aren't any REAL stones in here, are there?" He asked, looking in, out, and under it.

"Well, not TECHNICALLY, but it's made out of a very rare metal. It would be a miracle to find it any other place in this town."

"Oh, forget it. I'll just get her a shirt or-"

"Colin, wait!" Clyde said. "You know how much Lola likes expensive stuff, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, if you buy her that tiara, you'll probably make Lola very, VERY happy that you spent your hard earned cash all on her!"

"Clyde, its not that I dont want to buy it for her. I just dont have enough..."

"Cash? Simple solution! If we all pitch in our money, we'll be able to get that tiara, make Lola happy, and be able to stop at Flips on the way home!"

"Ok, take back what I said about Lincoln being the genius. That's obviously Clyde." He then turned to the cashier.

"I'll take it!"

On the way home that evening, however, Lincoln brought up another problem.

"Wait, did you think of getting LANA anything, Colin?"

"No problemo, Chico. I have the perfect present for her, and it's living in the basement!" He said to the confusion of both Lincoln and Clyde.

 **The Next Day…**

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!"

The Loud family sang as both Lola and Lana blew out the candles on their birthday cake. The twins party with their friends was the previous night, but the parents wanted to make sure that the family would be involved in some way.

"Thanks, guys!" They said in unison as they walked over to open their presents.

"They're going to love your presents, Linc," Colin whispered to a nervous Lincoln as the twons sorted out their presents.

"Are you kidding?! I got Lola a book! A BOOK! What kind of person gets their 7 year old sister a book on their birthday?!"

"Hey, calm down. It looks like they're opening mine first, anyway."

The twins both thought different things when opening their gifts.

"Something pretty, something pretty, something pretty..."

"Something dirty, something dirty, something dirty..."

Lana was the first one to open her gift. But instead of the delighted squeal Colin was expecting, he was greeted by a long silence.

"Uhhh, Colin, what do you expect me to do with this?" She asked as she held up an expensive tiara in her hands.

"What?!" He asked, shocked. What did Lana have Lolas' gift for?!

"Ugh, Lincoln, I thought I asked YOU to label them!" He said, realizing the blunder.

"I did! Oh, no! I must've mixed them up last night!"

"Wait, so if Lana has Lolas present, then Lola must hav-"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The two boys turned to face each other, sheer terror in their eyes.

"Oh, no."

They got up and ran into the living room, where the scream had originated.

"GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME!" Lola screamed as she frantically waved her arm around, a large, hairy animal attached to it.

"Ok, do NOT panic!" Colin yelled to Lola (from across the room.) "It won't bite you if you stay calm and don't move!"

Lola didn't hear him well enough to understand, though, because she continued to scream and wave her arm around. There was no more instruction to be found, though, as Lynn Sr marched in as though he was in a homecoming parade.

"LINCOLN?! COLIN?! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!"

"Padre, I can explain! I was cleaning my room last night, see, and I found a tarantula in the corner-"

"THIS IS A TARANTULA?!" Lola screamed as she tried even harder to get it off her arm.

"So I thought it would make a nice present to Lana, and so I put it in a shoebox, wrapped it a couple minutes ago, and Lincoln put the labels on..."

"Which, in hindsight, probably wasn't the smartest idea," Lincoln said as his sisters came over to stare at Lola.

"Woah, nice arm, Lola! You could throw a mean softball pitch if you keep it up!"

"Dude, Lola, nice dance moves! Show me how to do those sometime!"

"Hey, what's Laila doin-AHHHH! A SPIDER!" Leni said as she saw a different spider on the floor and ran.

"Lincoln, Colin, go to your rooms! Your grounded for the rest of the week!" Rita said, marching in Lynn Sr-esque.

"Aw, c'mon, Madre, it was an accident!" Colin tried to explain, but a quick death glare sent both the boys packing.

Before he made it up the stairs, though, he looked back down one last time. Lana had managed to get the spider off her sister, who was sitting on the couch, shooting daggers directly towards… well, you can probably guess.

"Oh, boy...Lola is going to kill me..." Colin said as he laid down in his bed, managing to doze off a few hours later.

 **The Next Morning…**

Colin woke up and went upstairs to get ready for school. He poured himself some cereal, watched TV, and finally went upstairs to comb his hair and brush his teeth. He had just gotten to the bathroom door when...

"OH MY GOD!" Lincoln yelled as he burst out of his room. He looked normal, but yet… there was something strangely off about him.

After a minute of wondering what was different, Colin came to the stunning conclusion.

"Dude...where are your eyebrows?!" He asked, kicking into panic mode.

"More importantly, Colin, WHERE'S YOUR HAIR?!"

"My WHAT?!"

Colin forced himself to look up into the mirror.

"OH MY GOD!" he screamed as he looked at himself in the mirror. He still kept some hair at the top of his cornrows, but from his ears down, nothing. Not even his beard was spared from his sister wrath.

He marched out of the bathroom looking like his family had been murdered in front of him.

"OH, WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT LITTLE PIECE OF-"

"Looking for something, you two?"

They both turned around to see Lola, holding something oddly families in her hands.

"M-my hair. My beautiful hair!" Colin moaned. he felt a rush in his stomach as Lola held the hair she had cut off of him an the morning.

"That's right. After that WONDERFUL birthday present I got last night from you two ,I thought that I might as well... REPAY the favor."

Lincoln turned to face his sister.

"Lola, you didn't repay ANY favor! This is just cruel!"

"Cruel you say? Sort of like my "present?"

"No!" Colin screamed. "IT WAS A MIX-"

Hmm, is that mom and dad I hear coming up the stairs? I better run, then. Buh Bye!"

She sprinted into her room as Lynn Sr and Rita came upstairs to brush their teeth.

"Colin, Lincoln, what are you two-"

They stopped, staring at both Colins head and Lincolns eyes.

"Ummm..."

"Mom, Dad, can me and Colin miss school for like, the next week or two?"

The room was silent for a while, until the parents broke the silence in almost perfect twin unison.

"LOLA MARIE LOUD! GET OVER HERE!"


	12. Luan Pt 1

**Royal Woods High...**

Colin walked into school on Monday hoping that no one in their right mind would pull off the black beanie that covered his head, even though it was against the rules and stood out like a neon sign.

He sat down in homeroom and silently prayed, a rare sight for him.

"Dear Lord in Heaven, PLEASE don't have anyone ask about my hair! I don't think I could stand the embarrassment! Oh, please, please, please, plE-"

"Mr. Gomez, you know the rules, I assume, so please take off that hat."

"Well, so much for that," he grumbled as he stood up and walked to the teachers desk.

He put his hands down onto the desk and looked his teacher in the eyes, a sense of panic in them.

"Mrs. Brown, PLEASE don't make me take my hat off!" He said in a whisper. "See, my sister was mad at me and she-"

Mrs. Brown stopped him with her hand.

"I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that your sister shaved your head."

He stared at her in awe.

"How did you- oh, never mind. But your right, and it's BAD. And trust me, I do NOT want the whole school laughing at me today."

She let out a sigh as she began to dig around her desk, looking for something.

"Colin, I can't change the rules," she stated. "But what I CAN do is make a judgement on it myself and write a note permitting you to keep the hat on. So, let's see what we're dealing with here. Show me your hair."

"...Do I have to?"

"If you want to keep the hat, then yes, you do."

"Oh, god..." Colin said as he slowly took the beanie off of his head.

"Oh, my..."

Mrs Brown gaped as she looked at Colins hair. Or, a more accurate term, what was LEFT of it. Even after taking out what cornrows he had left, it still looked like a weedwhacker had mauled the top of his head. Bits and pieces of hair were all that remained in some places, and he had no hair at all on the back of his head.

"Ok, that's bad enough," she said as Colin quickly put his hat back on. "Here's a note. Show this to your teachers and they should let you keep your hat on the rest of the day."

"Thank you SO much!" he said as he walked back to his desk, praying that no one would ask about it for the rest of the day.

 **Lunch…**

"This is HORRIBLE!" Colin groaned in exasperation as he sat down at the lunch table with his 4 oldest sisters and Bobby.

"People have been asking me all day about my hair! What am I supposed to do?!"

"Well, MAYBE you shouldn't make Lola mad," Lori said. "I mean, what were you even thinking when you got her a tarantula?"

"Ok, for the LAST time, that was a mix up!" he growled. "But I'm gonna have to wear this stupid hat for the rest of the month, at least! A MONTH!"

He suddenly slammed his fist down on the table in frustration, startling everyone.

"I NEED to get revenge on Lola...but how?"

"Dude, Lola is already grounded for 2 months. What else could you do to her?" Luna asked him.

"Well, that's just the thing: I don't know. But I have to think of something. And when I say something, that something is gonna be GOOD..."

"Wait, what are we talking about?" Leni said as everyone groaned.

 **4 Hours Later…**

"What a day..." Colin said as he got home from school. So far, he hadn't shown his head yet, but he knew that it was only a matter of time before he made the fatal mistake.

"I HAVE to get revenge, but how?"

"I can probably help you."

"GOD DAMN IT!" he yelled as Lucy scared him once again. "How many times do I have to say to not scare me, Lucy?!"

"Sorry. It's a bad habit," she said, her voice not making it clear whether she was being sarcastic or not. "But you shouldn't be getting revenge on Lola."

"Huh? But she cut my hair off!" He said, not sure what she meant.

"She did do that, I suppose. But it wasn't her idea."

"Hmmm...explain, then," Colin said as Lucy told him everything.

"I was sitting in the vents, writing my poetry-"

"Wait. Why were you in the vents?"

"Because it's dark. And I'm alone up there. Anyway, I was writing, and I heard someone knocking on the door below me. I looked down and saw Lola knocking on Luna and Luans door."

 **-FLASHBACK-**

"Luan?! LUAN?! Open the door!"

After a minute, Luan came to the door, tired and weary.

"Lola, what do you want? It's 2 in the morning!"

"I know," she said matter of factly. "I stayed up all night, wondering what I should do to Lincoln and Colin after playing that horrible prank on me! But that isnt the point. I need your help, Luan."

"Wait, you want me to help you get revenge on them?" Luan said, much more awake than before. A sly smile soon crossed her face at what Lola was implying.

"Yes. And it has to be good, too. Something that those 2 will NEVER forget, like how I'll never forget the terror I felt when that, THING, jumped on me!"

"Ok, the first step you need to take is that you need to keep your voice down," she said in a hushed voice. "You don't want everyone knowing, right?"

"Well, I guess not..."

"So anyway, I have a really good idea for you. How about you..."

 **-END OF FLASHBACK-**

"That's all I heard before they went into Luans room. Sorry."

"So I shouldn't be getting revenge on LOLA, I should be going for LUAN!" Colin said, his mind beginning to wrap around the realization.

"Bingo. Just some advice though. Don't tell Lincoln."

"What? Why?"

"Well, he'll probably be even more mad at her than you are. After all, you can cover your hair, right?"

"Yeah, but..."

"Lincoln can't cover his eyebrows, can he?"

"...Good point. Thanks, chica. This means a lot."

"One other thing. This conversation never happened, got it?"

"Oh, I got it, Lucy, I got- Lucy?"

Lucy had dissappeared.

"Well, it least I know who to blame now..."

 **Luan/Lunas Room...**

"LUAN?! OPEN THE DOOR!" Colin yelled as he pounded on the door.

Pretty soon, the door opened.

"Luan, I know it was you who did- wait, where's Luan?" He asked Luna, who with an annoyed look had opened the door.

"Dude, first off, I was in the middle of learning to play an epic guitar solo. And second, Luan isn't here. She's at some open mic night thing at the school."

"Oh. Well, sorry to bother you, Luna. Hope you get that solo down!" He said as he went downstairs to put his coat on.

As he opened the door to go to the school, he heard Luna again.

"Colin, wait!"

He turned to the top of the stairs, where she stood.

"...Good luck," she said after a few seconds, then she went back into her room.

"Ummm, ok?" Colin said to himself as he walked out the door, ready to enact HIS revenge on Luan.

"Whatever happens at the school, Luan is going to pay. Mark my words."


	13. Luan Pt 2

Colin walked through the cold November air, only one thing on his mind: vengeance.

Both his hair and his pride had been taken from him on the same day, and after learning that Luan had gave Lola the idea of cutting his hair off, he had set off towards the school, where there was an open mic night scheduled.

"The nerve of that Chica!" he said to himself. "What kind of person tells someone to cut their brothers hair off? I swear, it's not going to be pretty when I get my..."

"Colin?"

He turned to see Clyde standing in front of his house.

"Oh, hey Clyde. What's up?"

"Not much. You?"

"Well, Chico, I'm heading to the school. I have a…'personal matter' to deal with," he mumbled, trying to keep himself focused.

"Mind if I walk with you? I'm heading to the open mic night there. I heard that Luan is supposed to be doing one of her stand up routines... and why are you wearing a beanie?"

"-sigh- Clyde, walk with me. I gotta tell you something."

 **5 minutes later...**

"Wow! That's crazy! And all because you got the gifts mixed up?"

"Yep. And it gets better… Wait, didn't you notice that Lincoln didn't have eyebrows?"

"Nope. He held his forehead the whole day. He said that he had a headache, but I guess not now."

"Huh. Weird. So anyway, Luan gave Lola the idea that she should shave my head. I'm going to the school to get my revenge."

Clyde stopped walking and looked up at him, concern in his eyes.

"Uhh, Colin, I hope you dont mind me asking, but do you have a PLAN to do any of this?"

"Well, of course I do! I'm going to..."

He stopped. He had definitely decided on getting revenge, but now he realized he had no idea how to do it.

"Well gee. I guess I didn't think that far."

"Knew it…"

"Well, what should I do then, Clyde? And it has to be good, too."

"Well, maybe you should... actually, I have no idea."

"There has to be-"

Colin suddenly had the Greatest. Idea. Ever.

He turned his head to Clyde, who was still trying to think of a good plan.

"Clyde, I've got an idea! How about I-"

He whispered into his ear, giving him all the details of his revenge plot.

"And then, BOOM! Revenge is mine! Well, what do you think?"

"Hmmm... I like it, but..."

"But what?"

"Don't you think it's a little... over the top? Unnecessary?"

"What?" he asked, shocked. "No! That's ridiculous! It's an appropriate punishment for losing my locks, I think."

"Well, whatever you say, I guess. But if you're going to do this, you might need this."

He dug an item that Colin had never seen before out of his pocket, and gently put it in his hands.

"Uhh, what exactly IS this thing?" Colin asked as he scanned it over.

"Well, duh! It's a walkie talkie! Wait...you've SEEN a walkie talkie before, right?"

"Clyde, I had barely ever seen a TV before I was brought here. How do I use this?"

"-sigh- Well, to talk to me, you're gonna…"

 **Royal Woods High School...**

Colin and Clyde entered the gym, where the open mic night was being held, just as Luan was in the middle of her set. After a quick glance and nod, they split up, Colin taking a seat up at the front.

After a minute of groan inducing comedy from her, Colin used his walkie talkie for the first time.

"This is Colin to Clyde, over. I'm in posi-"

"Colin, you have to use our code names!"

"What? Why?"

"Uhh, because those are the only things keeping our cover a secret!"

"A secret? Chico, we're the only ones paying atten-"

"Look, are you going to use them or not?"

"Ugh, fine. This is "Col-in One" to "You may now kiss McBride," over! You happy now?!"

"Very. Now what's the situation?"

"Well, it looks like Luan is almost done with her set. It's almost showtime!"

"And THAT'S why you never kiss a frog on the mouth! I'm Luan Loud, it's been a pleasure!" Luan said from the stage.

"Col-in One, it's time! Get up there!"

"Alright, this is Coli- "Col-in One," out!"

He stood up and walked up to the steps of the stage. The open mic night was designed to let anyone who got the nerve to perform perform. There wasn't a registration, just walk up and take the stage.

"Alright, time to give Luan a show she'll never-"

"Hey, Colin! What're you doing here?"

He turned to see Luan behind him, beaming from her performance.

"Oh, uh, Luan!" he stuttered. "I was just, uh, going up to do my routine!"

"Wait, you do comedy? That's awesome! I'll be rooting for ya, dude!"

"That's, uh, great!"

He suddenly felt a twang of guilt about what he was about to do.

"Say, Luan, do you know anything about my hair?" He asked her, silently hoping she'd come clean before he got his revenge.

A nervous smile crossed her face as she began to speak.

"Your hair? Heh, no! I dont, uh, know anything! All I know is that, uh, your having a really bad hair day? Yeah, that one works!" She said, walking away.

Colin took the stage. He knew what had to be done.

 **1 Minute Later…**

"Hey hey hey, what's up, Royal Woods?" Colin asked the 50 or so people in the audience, including Clyde and Luan.

The stage had never really bothered him. Throughout his life, and even though he hadn't done an actual show, he had somehow become accustomed to having eyes on him at all times.

"It is a true honor to be here! I gotta say, it's really good to be performing in front of a real audience for the first time!"

The audience chuckled, not knowing whether he was being sarcastic or truthful.

"But, in all honesty, I would've been even better if I had my hair with me," he said, glancing at where his comedian sister sat. Her smile had changed into a confused look after he said the line.

"Yeah, my littlr sister cut it off! Can you beloeve that?"

The crowd groaned in sympathy.

"Well, granted, I did accidentally gave her a spider for her birthday, but that's another story in itself. The thing is, I'm confused about how she did it. I mean, she's 8! She had to have some outside help, don't you think so?"

Glancing at Luans seat, he saw that her expression had changed once again, this time to more of a terror stricken face.

He had her right where he wanted. Smirking, Colin kept going.

"I know one thing, though. If I was supposed to think THIS was funny, it certainly missed the mark, like most of the suspects 'humor'!' I mean SERIOUSLY, I'd rather light myself on fire then listen to most of her 'humor!' I mean, how stupid can you be to not get the message at this point? I've heard a lot of stupid stuff in my life, but none of it compares to this person's pitiful attempts at 'humor!'" he blabbered, each time drawing out the word humor as to get laughs.

The next 5 or 6 minutes was comprised of an overly shocked (but still amused) crowd listen to Colin roast the still unnamed person.

As he ended his routine, he made sure the person knew who they were.

"To put it short, this chica thinks that shaving me and my brothers heads, trying to deny it, and all the time cracking jokes like they're eggs , is "funny." Well, let's face it: It's not funny. Like her."

Silence. Then a few claps arose from the back as Colin walked off stage to his seat, proud of his roasting of Luan.

"Showed her," he said to himself as he glanced over at her seat. But he noticed that the seat was now empty, Luan nowhere in sight.

"Uh, oh…" he said to himself as he got up and ran out of the gym.

 **Outside...**

"LUAN?! LUAN?! WHERE ARE YOU?!" Colin shouted as he searched in vain to find his sister. Even though she had helped cut his hair off, it was still late at night. As much as he wanted revenge, he didn't want to hurt anyone.

After searching the entire school, he stepped outside for a minute, his legs shaking and his hands clammy.

"What did I just do?" He thought to himself as he sat down to take a breath. "I just put down my own hermana in front of 50 people! What kind of person am-"

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard a heavy sob behind him.

He stood up, noticing Luans ponytail and white shirt sitting in the grass.

Nervously, he walked up and sat down beside her.

"Chica, I can-"

"GO AWAY!"

Colin was shocked. He had never heard Luan raise her voice, never less shout.

Instead of walking away, however, he continued to sit beside her.

"Luan, you think it's gonna be that easy to get rid of me?"

"Colin, what do you not understand about the words, 'go away?' GO AWAY."

"Luan, I'm sorry. I really am. Now please, just-"

Luan got up and walked to the curb, sitting down on the corner of the street.

"You can walk away from me all you want, chica, but that's not gonna make me leave you alone!" He shouted after her.

"Colin, I dont want to talk to you right now. Leave me-"

"Ok, ok, I'll leave you alone, I will!" he said, suddenly feeling angrier. "But answer me one thing. Why did you tell Lola to do this?!" He said as he took off his beanie, revealing his horrible haircut.

"Do you really think I expected her to do that?!" she replied, almost shouting. "I gave her a lot of ideas! I said she should put whipped cream in your shoes, or leave a bucket of water on top of the basement door! But THIS?! I gave that to her as a Joke option, Colin!"

He suddenly felt a lot less angry and a lot more defensive.

"Well, I guess that Lola doesn't quite understa-"

"And then you get up onstage and insult me! IN FRONT OF ABOUT 50 PEOPLE! That wasn't funny, Colin! That was DEGRADING!"

"Look, Luan, I'm really sorry that I-"

"No! Don't even try to defend yourself, Colin! It's not gonna work this time!"

With that, Luan began to walk home in the cold night, tripping over her feet due to the the daze she was in.

Colin had felt bad before, but now...he felt HORRIBLE. He had gotten his revenge, but at what cost? A friendship?

He felt his eyes begin to tear up as he began to speak again.

"I do think you're funny, Luan."

She stopped, turning her head to find him looking at the ground.

"I'm… sorry."

No response.

"Just, sorry," Colin said as he sat down, holding back tears.

After what felt like an eternity, Colin felt someone sit down beside him.

"-sigh- I should be the one apologizing, Colin."

He looked up at her, wiping a tear away. Luan lowered her head as she continued.

"I shouldn't have helped Lola. And I shouldn't have given her the idea to shave your head."

"Chica, don't apologize to me..." he said, beginning to feel terrible again. "I did something worse. I shouldn't have gotten revenge on you. And I shouldn't have been an ass on stage, either."

Long, awkward silence. Finally...

"Please don't hate me."

"Colin, why would I hate you?"

"Because I'm stupid. And an idiot. And close minded and inconsiderate and-"

"Colin, stop. You're none of those things."

"SMH. Easy for you to say…"

"But it's true! You're smart...and caring, and mostly considerate, and you're just a plain old good guy who makes mistakes once in a while. We all do."

"Luan, I can't apologize enough for this. I'm so, so, SO sorry..."

He started to silently cry again.

"No, Colin, I'm sorry. I should have stayed out of it. It wasn't my battle to fight."

More silence.

"Well, I guess you could say you got an eye for an eye on this deal," Luan chuckled as Colin looked up, his eyes still red from crying.

"Yeah… I guess that both of our egos are deflated, too."

"As deflated as Tom Bradys footballs, though?"

"Hey, 2015 called. They want their jokes back."

They both chuckled at their humor, finally looking into each other's eyes.

"Let's never do that again."

"Deal."

They both stood up, hugging when they finally were all the way up.

"Now, what do we do about Lola?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, that little díablo did this, didn't she? She should pay for it!"

"True, true...but what CAN we do?"

At that moment, Clyde came rushing a out of the school, panting as he slowed down.

"Colin! Luan! Thank God I found you! I was getting worried about you guys! And you left your walkie talkie in there, Colin!"

Colin looked down at his walkie talkie.

"Uh, chico, did you JUST realize we were missing?"

"Yep! Wait, how long were you guys out here?"

Colin then had an idea, even better than the last one. He turned to face Clyde.

"Clyde, you wouldn't happen to have any hair dye at your house, would you?"

"Hair dye? I think that we have some left over from Halloween. But why would you need it?"

"Oh, no particular reason..." he said as he and Luan gave each other an evil grin.

 **The Next Morning...**

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?!"

Colin and Luan sat on the couch, smiling at each other as Lola came barreling down the stairs, a towel covering her hair.

"MY HAIR! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!"

"Lola, what happened? Something wrong with your hair?" Colin asked, holding back a laugh.

Lola, who was by then brewing with rage, ripped the towel off of her head.

"It's GREEN! MY HAIR IS GREEN! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WIN MY PAEGENTS LIKE THIS?! HOW?!"

"Gee, Lola, it looks like you're feeling a bit more eco friendly today," Luan said. "Your hair matches the recycling bin!"

She turned to face Luan, looking as mad as a bull with rabies.

"IT WAS YOU TWO! I KNOW IT WAS! OH, WHEN I TELL MOM-"

"Tell me what, honey?"

"They all turned to see Mrs Loud walk down the stairs, finally getting a look at Lolas new "hairstyle."

"Oh, um, that hair looks really, uh, nice, honey! When did you do that?"

"I didn't do it, Mom!" she said in her best sweet voice. "It was-"

"Let me explain, Lola," Luan said as she stood up. "You see, it was late at night, and me and Colin had just gotten home from open mic night at the school. When I laid down to go to bed, I heard someone outside the door."

"Oh, was Lola sleepwalking again? She used to do that a lot when she was younger..."

Lolas face flushed.

"T-THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED! THEY-"

"You were right, mom, it was Lola. She was sleepwalking again! And she had a can or something in her hand. I was gonna take it from her, but I remembered that you're not supposed to wake up a sleepwalker. So I didnt. I guess that can she had was green hair dye!"

"THAT! IS! NOT! TRUE! THEY DID IT, MOM! I CAN PROVE IT! IT WAS IN THE SHAMPOO!"

"Honey, settle down. Now, I don't deny you were sleepwalking, but to give you the benefit of the doubt, let's go up to the bathroom and see for ourselves."

"Yes, lets!" Lola said to Colin and Luan, who were now looking very, VERY concerned. "I'm sure the evidence of me sleepwalking won't be there, will it?"

 **5 minutes later...**

"HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!" Lola screeched as they looked at the bathroom.

"Well, there isn't any sign of "hair dye in the shampoo," Lola. And if that's not enough, there's a can of green hair dye right there on the sink!"

"BUT THAT WASN'T THERE THIS MORNING, I SWEAR! IT WAS LUAN AND COLIN, MOM!"

"Lola, honey, the evidence is all right there. THERE'S no other explanation except you were-"

"I DIDN'T DO THIS! IT WAS THEM!"

"Now Lola, you stop that right now! It obvious that you did this to yourself, intentional or not. Now, if I hear you blame these two again-"

"IT WAS THEM! I SWEAR! I DON'T SLEEPWALK!"

"That's it! You're grounded for another 2 weeks! And if you try to blame them again, I swear..."

This time, Lola didn't say anything. As Mrs Loud walked out the door, she turned and hissed at the two who framed her.

"I swear, I'll get even worse revenge than shaving your stupid head, Colin Gomez! And YOU, Luan! I thought you were a good person, but THIS?! You're going to be begging for mercy after I get you back for this!"

"Keep dreaming, chica!" Colin yelled as she stormed out of the bathroom. He turned to Luan, and in a low voice, whispered excitedly:

"It worked!"

"It sure did! But I'm confused. Who set up the crime scene?"

"It was me."

"AHHH!" They both screamed as Lucy came out of nowhere.

"Wait, Lucy?!" Colin said, regaining his posure. "It was you who helped us?"

"Yes. I this is my way of apologizing to both of you. For telling Colin to blame you. And besides, I never liked Lola treating you like that."

"Aww, thanks, Luce!" Luan said as she hugged her younger sister, who then went back to her room. Luan turned back to Colin.

"You know, that was pretty good, dude. And I gotta say, you're really funny when you aren't trying to put me down."

"Uh, thanks?" He said, not certain where the conversation was going.

"I think we should team up. Form a comedy duo."

He looked at her with suspicion, before turning his attention beck to the room Lola had gona in.

"Hmmm... let me get back to you on that one, chica. Something tells me that it's gonna be a long couple of months dealing with her..."


	14. Lynn

"And it's a TOUCHDOWN, WOLVERINES! Michigan takes the lead as they go into halftime!"

"Yes!" Colin shouted as the stadium erupted in cheers. He had been surprised by Mr and Mrs Loud with 3 tickets to the big game after his head was shaved. They had said that they had come from a family friend, but Colin immediately knew it was mostly an "I'm so sorry for my daughters behavior" gift.

None the less, he was wholeheartedly enjoying the expierience. Although it was only halftime, he had already eaten a stadium hot dog, done the wave, and was able to enjoy the drunk fans screaming their lungs out at every flag. For a first game experience, that was pretty good!

Although growing up in San Diego, Colin had never actually been to a Chargers game. He only knew of them through the sports section of the local newspaper that the cornerstore sold, and even then he could only name one player, that being the great Ladanian Tomlinson.

"You having fun yet, Lori?" He asked his 'sister', who had been forced into coming due to her being the only one able to drive him to Ann Arbor.

"Like, literally not at all. I think Bobby and Lynn are enjoying it, though."

Along with Lori, Colin had been forced into taking Bobby and his younger sister Lynn with them to the game. Bobby, only because Lori wouldn't go without him, and Lynn, who wouldn't let Colin sleep at night until he agreed to take her.

 **-FLASHBACK-**

"Please, please, please, PLEASE take me to the game!" Lynn said outside of the basement door, where Colin slept.

"Lynn, it's 4 in the morning!" he groaned as he threw a pillow over his head. "And besides, you don't even have a ticket!"

"Dude, have you never heard of "Ticket Exchange?" Real easy to use, and all you need is Mom or Dads debit card number. So tickets won't be a problem, and so all I need is a ride! And that's you!"

She jumped back in fright as Colin threw the pillow at the door. Never the less, she persisted.

"Come on, dude! I've NEVER been to a Michigan game! They're my team, Colin! I NEED to go!"

"-sigh- Look, Lynn, even if I CONSIDERED taking you to the game, what makes me think you won't be a nuisance?"

"Colin, if you won't take me to this game, I will sit outside your door and say the word "please" over and over again until you do!"

"Go ahead! I don't plan on coming out anytime soon, anyway!"

"Please."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

 **2 hours later...**

"Please."

"No!"

"Please."

"NO!"

"Please."

"FINE! YOU CAN GO!" He finally shouted, having enough of hearing Lynns voice.

"Thank god! I was getting a little worried there, dude! Thanks!"

"Thank yourself, brat..." he mumbled under his breath as she walked back upstairs.

 **-END OF FLASHBACK-**

Colins thoughts were suddenly interuppted by something hitting him in the face. Looking down, he saw a football, probably an errant throw by a player on the team.

He picked it up in a way that it would be hidden from the others. If Colin wanted anything, it wasn't for his sisters to know about his cool new souvenir.

He suddenly thought of something.

"If I could get down by the field, I could get a player to sign it! Yeah!" Colin was barren of any cash, like usual, so he figured that he could give it to Lynn as a Christmas present.

"Hey, uh, I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be back by the third quarter," he lied, standing up and walking up the stadium steps.

When no one was looking, however, he bolted down the stairs, reaching the bottom just as the rest of the team came out of the tunnel. Luckily, he had found a marker in the car that morning just in case he ran into a player, so he pulled it out of his pocket.

"And here comes Michigans starting QB, ANTON MCCORMICK!" the announcer said as a tall, lanky football player came running out of the tunnel to meet the fans.

Colin frantically waved his arms to get his attention, and after succeeding, had him sign the ball.

"Have it say, "to my biggest fan, Lynn!" Colin said, not wanting her to be disappointed.

"Ok, kid, but I have to be there in 30 seconds. Give me the marker."

After getting the signature, he looked down at the ball. But he noticed something odd about the message on it.

"Oh, no!" he groaned as he read the name. "This says TIM, not Lynn! And he freaking spelled his own name wrong!"

Colin tried to get the quarterbacks attention again, but he was busy shaking the other fans hands and signing jerseys to notice. He quickly wiped the signature off the ball as he went down the row to get it signed again.

"God damn it! He's too far away!" He thought to himself. "What am I supposed to do now?!"

In the brief moment, he looked down and began to ponder his options.

"Well, I COULD always forge the sig-"

At that moment, a large fan ran into Colin, sending him over the side of the railing. He tried to hold on, but soon he felt himself hit the cold grass of the stadium. Unfortunately, no one had noticed him fall, as they were all to busy booing the other team who was coming out of the tunnel.

"Oh, no… Oh no, oh no, oh no!" He said, trying desperately to get back into the bleachers. But he was soon interrupted by a voice behind him.

"Hey ballboy, what're you doing?! The second half's about to start!"

Colin turned around and saw a middle aged man, somewhere in his late 40s. He carried a clipboard and wore a Michigan sweatshirt, with black hair and a pair of thick glasses. Now, you probably couldnt pick him out of a crowd, but Colin immediately recognized the man.

"Y-youre Jim Harbaugh! The head coach!"

"Yeah? What's it to ya? Get over there and put that ball with the rest of them, kid! We have a game to play!"

"Yes, sir!" He said excitedly as he rushed over to the sidelines. He managed to find Anton just as he was about to go into the game.

"Hey, buddy! you messed up my sister's name!" He said. Anton turned his head in confusion.

"Huh? What're you... Oh, wait, you're a ballboy. Look, I'll sign another one after this drive. I have to go out there now!"

"Ok! Thanks, dude!" He cheered as the star quarterback took the gridiron.

On the second play of the drive, however, he was hit hard on the backfield. He held his leg in agony as trainers flocked around him.

"Oh, this isn't good…" Colin mumbled to himself as the medical cart was driven out to pick the injured QB up. BUT, even before he was taken off to the locker room, Colin tried vainly to get his autograph.

"So, how about that John Hancock now, Anton?"

The quarterback looked at him like he was a savage.

"Are you freaking insane?! My leg is broken, and you want an autograph? What kind of ball boy are you?!"

"A pretty bad one, if you ask yourself..." he said as McCormick was carted off.

Realizing he had to get back to his seat before his sisters and Bobby got suspicious, he tried unsuccessfully to get a signature on the ball.

"Kid, what's the problem?" Someone said beside him. Colin turned to see Coach Harbaugh standing next to him.

"Oh, I've been trying to get a signature all day from your players, but they're either all third string players or on the field. I don't know-"

"Give me the ball. I'll sign it."

"What?"

"Kid, first off, I know you aren't a ball boy. You look too young to even go to college."

"Well, I wouldn't say-"

"And second, would you rather have a crappy quarterback or a proven hall of fame coach sign your ball? Your choice, but make it quick. I have to get back out there."

"-sigh- Make it out to Lynn," Colin said as he quickly handed it to Coach, who signed it as fast as he could. After he was done, he told him, "there's an exit to the bleachers over there. If you're gone in the next minute, I won't call security. So hurry up."

"Thank you, Coach!" Colin said as they shook hands.

As he walked back to his seat, he glanced down at the ball, where coach Harbaugh had written:

"Lynn, always root for the Big Blue. Go Michigan! Coach Jim Harbaugh."

He smiled, knowing that Lynn would be ecstatic an Christmas morning opening his gift. He went back to his seat, satisfied that he had just had the best football experience ever.

"Hope you like it, Chica," he said to himself as the backup QB threw a perfect pass to the end zone, giving Michigan the lead.


	15. Lincoln

**Ok, so I know the timing here on this chapter is a bit off, but hey! We only have to wait about another 6 months for this to be relevant. Whoopee!**

 **And BTW, happy 4th of July to all my fellow American readers! I know our country may not be as good as we want it, but… we're not doing all that bad now, are we? We're still the greatest country on earth! The last stand of freedom! So I suggest that we all put politics aside here, crack open some cold ones today, and celebrate the greatest damn country in the world! MERICA!**

 **Enjoy!**

Snow fell on Royal Woods, Michigan, as the Loud family prepared their house for Christmas. Tinsel was hung, Mistletoe placed beneath the doorway, and the stockings were put up on the fireplace. It seemed that the Louds were all in that holiday spirit.

The only thing missing, in fact, was the tree. And that was the one thing that Mr and Mrs Loud went to go get.

"Now, we'll only be gone for a couple of hours. We'll be back in time to set up the tree and decorate it, so until then, just chill I out here."

"Well, I think I'd better go with you guys," Lori said from behind the group of kids. "I mean, like, what of you pick the wrong tree?"

Soon, the entire family was saying that they wanted to tag along, too. Pretty soon, the only ones left were Lincoln and Colin Gomez, who was still sleeping in his room, the basement.

"Ok Lincoln, if you don't want to come, make sure to go wake Colin up. I don't want him sleeping the whole day. And whatever you do, dont trash the house! Please!"

"Don't worry, mom! I'm make sure everything is the way it was when you get home, believe me!"

As soon as his parents and sisters left, Lincoln went inside, towards the basement steps.

"COLIN! WAKE UP!" he yelled down the stairs, waking Colin up with a start.

"Ugh...what time is it?" he asked himself before rolling over and looking at his alarm clock.

"1:00?! Holy crap, I slept through a lot of the day!" He said as he quickly got dressed and ran upstairs.

"Woah..." he said as he looked around the now Christmas-fied living room.

"Well, what do you think? Did we decorate ok?"

"Dude...it looks like someone puked lights and tinsel over the house."

"Well, that's what you do during Christmas, right? I mean, you DID celebrate Christmas in your old world, didn't you, Colin?"

"Well, yeah...but not like THIS," he said as he went over to the sit on the couch. "We didn't have a lot of money to spend, you know. It's usually a small tree in the corner, chocolate chip cookies, and clothes under the tree. But no tinsel, or stockings, or whatever THIS is," he said as he flicked the mistletoe.

"Well, that's mistletoe. When someone stands under it, they kiss. But that's not important! Right now, we need to enjoy the alone time we have. And I know JUST who needs to help us do it!"

He rushed upstairs to get his walkie talkie. Finally getting it, he spoke to a familiar friend.

"This is Cadet Lincoln to Cadet Clyde, do you read me?"

"I read you loud and clear, Linc. What do you need?"

"Clyde, my mom and dad took my sisters out to get the Christmas tree, and she left me and Colin here alone. Want to come over and hang out?"

"Gee, I wish I could, Lincoln, but my dads and I are going Christmas caroling with Dr Lopez and her family tonight. We leave in an hour."

"Oh, well, that's too bad. Now what am I supposed to do?"

"Hmmm... I got it! Why don't you invite Ronnie-"

"SHHHHHHHH!" Lincoln shushed Clyde as he glared at Colin. In a low whisper, he began to lecture his best friend.

"Clyde, I thought we agreed to NOT talk about you-know-what in front of you-know-who!"

"Oh, Colins in there? Hi, Colin!"

"Sup, Chico? Lincoln, who's this "Ronnie" person?"

"Ugh, I gotta go, Clyde. Talk to you later," he said as he put the walkie talkie down.

Turning to face Colin, he began to explain.

"Look, it's none of your business who it is. She doesn't know you, and-"

"Wait a minute," he said, an evil smile creeping onto his face. "This Ronnie person is a...girl?"

"-sigh- FINE, I'll tell you. First off, her names Ronnie Ann, not just Ronnie. And second, she is NOT my girlfriend! Got it?"

"Oh, I got it alright, Chico," Colin said with a wink as Lincoln went into the kitchen, presumably to call Ronnie Ann.

About 15 minutes later, the two heard a knock on the door.

"Oooh, I wonder who that could be?" Colin said with a stupid grin.

"Oh, shut up! Just answer the door!"

He walked over and opened the door to find a girl about Lincolns age, with a scowl on her face and wearing a purple hoodie jacket.

"You must be Ronnie Ann. Lincoln told me about you."

"Where's that Lame-O at? I have to beat him up for asking me if I wanted to "hang out."

"Umm, ok?" He said as Lincoln came to the door. After he invited her in, Colin leaned down and whispered to his brother.

"She seems nice, dude. A bit improper if you ask me, but overall..."

"Would you be quiet?!" He hissed, but as soon as he saw Ronnie Ann, his whole demeanor changed.

"Hey, Ronnie Ann. Glad you could - OW!" he yelped as the girl punched him in the arm.

"THAT'S what you get when you ask me to "hang out" with you, Lincoln! As if I'd ever do that! We're not even dating!"

She gave a small scowl of anger as she began to walk towards the door.

"Aw, c'mon, Ronnie Anne! You just got here!" Lincoln said as she turned the doorknob. "Why don't you stay a while?"

"Yeah, Chica, why don't you stay here? I mean, you don't want to walk home in, uh, whatever that white stuff is, do you? I mean, it's REALLY cold, you know?"

She opened the door, but stopped before walking out. She turned around and glared at Colin.

"Have I ever seen you before?"

"Not that I can recall...but if I must introduce myself to you, I'm Colin."

"Why are you here? Where did you come from?"

"Well, it's a long story, Chica. You see, I..."

* * *

"Hold it! You're trying to tell me you fell through a TV and landed HERE?!"

"Indeed I am, Ronnie. Lincoln can testify to that. He saw me fall out of the portal!"

"And WHY didn't you tell ME about him, Lincoln?" She asked as she turned to face him, making him flinch.

"Well, I mean, I didn't think you would care or anything!"

"Not care about you having a brother?! Please!"

"WAAAIT A MINUTE, Wait a minute, wait a minute! We aren't actually "brothers," you know. I'm technically just a homeless dude who took their last name."

"But still, you live in the same house, have the same last name, and have the same sisters!"

"Look, chica, if a guy invites a homeless dude who he just met to stay with him for a while, does that mean the homeless guy is his brother?"

"Well, no...but still!"

"-sigh- Look, I think we should do something else for a while. How about, umm, let's see..."

"How about video games?" Lincoln said. "I know I could beat both of you head on head!"

"Oh, try me, Lame-O! I'll take you DOWN!"

"I've never played video games, so I'm probably going DOWN!"

They set up the video game system, popped in a game, and settled in for the next few hours.

 **A Few Hours Later...**

"Woo hoo! I beat your sorry face, Lincoln!" Ronnie Ann said triumphantly.

"Hey, I beat you at least 6 times, anyway!"

"It doesn't matter, because I beat BOTH your sorry asses at this game! I AM A VIDEO GAME GOD!"

It was about then that the clock struck 7. It was already almost dark out.

"Well, it looks like I should go, now," Ronnie Ann said as she glanced at the clock.

She got up to go put her coat on, but as she did, she unknowingly stepped under the mistletoe.

Colin saw this and turned to Lincoln, who was turning the TV to watch his show.

"Dude, look where Ronnie Anns standing!" He whispered.

He took one glance and immediately shook his head.

"No. No way."

"Aw, c'mon, Chico! Just do it! I'm sure it won't be that bad! You DO like her, don't you?"

"Well… yeah, but..."

"But what? You're too much of a wuss? Just do it, dude. It won't even be that painful."

"Oh, um, ok..."

He got up and walked over to Ronnie Ann. Colin couldn't hear what they were saying, but Lincoln pointed towards the mistletoe. When she looked up, he quickly went to give her a peck on the cheek.

But, unfortunately for him, she brought her head down as soon as Lincoln went in. All Colin saw was Lincoln giving Ronnie Ann the whole package deal, then Ronnie Anns expression change from curiosity, shock, and anger as she balled her fists up.

 **WHAM!**

He saw Lincoln grab his eye, shouting in pain, and Ronnie Ann hurriedly walking away.

"Uhhh, Yo, Chico! You need an ice pack or something?" He said, but Lincoln just gave Colin a death stare and bolted upstairs to his room.

Colin heard the door to his room slam, a vase somewhere upstairs falling.

"Oh, boy..." he said just as the car was pulling into the driveway.

* * *

"Look, Lincoln, you can't stay mad at me forever, you know! I was giving you some good advice there! And besides, I saw her! She was getting into it!"

"Leave me alone!"

"Chico, come on. It's not that bad. I could tell just by looking at her she throws a mean hook. She could beat Paquiao if she tried, and we BOTH know it!"

"She probably hates me now!"

"Dude, no she does not. That kiss lasted for at least 4 seconds! She liked it! Besides, it was an accident. You were going to kiss her on the cheek."

Lincoln opened the door, revealing the black eye that Ronnie Ann had given him.

"And how exactly do I explain THIS to mom and dad?!"

"Hmmm… leave that one to me, bud..."

* * *

"Ok, ok, just give me the gist of that whole spiel again," Lynn Sr said, holding his head in confusion.

"Lincoln was walking down the stairs when he accidentally stepped on Geos hamster ball. He fell down the stairs, confusingly groped his way around, tripped, and hit his eye off the Virgin Mary nativity figurine," Colin explained, trying to come up with a good story on the dot.

"Well, um, Lincoln, watch where you step before you go anywhere."

"OK, dad," Lincoln said as the door rang.

"I got it!" Colin said as he opened the door to find... nobody.

Looking down, though, he saw a small present, wrapped in yellow wrapping paper with a red bow. The tag said, "To: Lincoln. From: Ronnie Ann."

"Hey, Chico, it's for you," he said as he handed the gift to Lincoln. He eyed it suspiciously before ripping off the wrapping paper and the bow.

"Huh?" He said as he pulled out a piece of paper. He read the writing on it ain't a low voice so only he and Colin could hear.

 _"Hey, Lame-O, thanks for today. I'm sorry I punched you in the face. Do it again next week? From, Ronnie Ann. P.S: tell Colin that I think he's pretty cool."_

"Well, thanks," He said as Lincoln turned to him.

"Thanks, Colin. I owe you."

"For what? I didn't really do anything."

"You helped me get Ronnie to like me even more! And I didn't even want you to meet her!"

"Ok, but you don't-"

They were interrupted by another knock at the door. This time, Lincoln opened it, revealing Clyde, his dads, and a couple other people.

"Hey, Lincoln! I thought we'd stop by and sing a little! Got any song requests?"

"Hmmm..." he thought, but Colin barged by him to the carolers.

"Can you sing "Feliz Navidad," by chance?"

"You heard the man! Sing!" Someone said, and the carolers burst into song as snow fell on Royal Woods.


	16. Lori

He was pinned on both sides, restraints that he couldn't see holding down his arms and legs. He tried to fight back, to no avail, even as the voice spoke again.

"You really thought you could get away with it, didn't you? After all of this, you thought you could run and hide? You thought WRONG, Gomez."

"I still don't k-know what you're talking about…"

"Oh, Colin… you can play the game all you want, but you're destined to lose in the end."

The voice was suddenly louder, this time in the form of ringing in his ears.

"You ruined our lives, Colin. And now you have to pay."

The world became a blur once again, and Colin found himself sitting up in a cold sweat.

He looked at the time. 1:00 A.M. Thankfully, it wasn't a school day, or else he would've been too tired to function.

He had no idea why these dreams kept haunting him. It had happened so many times before, but this was only twice that he could make out what people were saying. And even when he couldn't, the dreams were still… eerie. It was more of Lucys style, to be honest.

"I need to see a doctor…" he incoherently mumbled as he fell back asleep.

 **6 Hours Later…**

"Ugh. Sundays," Colin said as he walked upstairs. Even though Christmas was just around the corner, he was ALWAYS tired. Even the bustle of the holidays couldn't keep him awake.

"Im just gonna lie down a minute…" he mumbled as he covered his head with a blanket. He soon fell asleep again, this time on the couch.

* * *

"Ok, Bobby, I was JUST thinking of that. We definitely need to hang out some time…"

Lori, the oldest sibling, was too distracted by her conversation to even notice the massive lump on the couch. Even when she sat down, it took the flailing of Colins arms to alert her.

"What's going on?!" he yelped, falling off the couch in the process. He staggered to his feet, finally noticing who had sat on him.

"Oh, it's you, Lori."

"What are you doing up here?" she asked in her usual annoyed teenager voice.

"Well, what does it look like? I'm TRYING to sleep."

"Well, go downstairs if you want to do that! That's where you sleep, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah, but…"

His voice trailed off as he watched her type a message out on her phone.

"Uhhh… what's that?"

"Huh?"

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm texting Bobby."

"Well, yeah, but… what IS that thing? In your hands?"

"What, this?" she asked, holding it up. "It's my cellphone?"

"Uh, huh. And, what exactly IS that?"

"You haven't seen a cellphone before?"

"Well, I sure do know I haven't owned one! Mama and Chica didn't have one, either."

"Ok, ok… you mean to tell me that you have NEVER seen a cellphone before? What about in your old school? Or this one?"

"Chica, where I'm from, most people can barely afford the clothes off of their backs. And if they DID have money, they wouldn't be wasting it all on some 'cellphone' doo-hickey. And I haven't exactly been paying attention to other people in school, you know."

"That's horrible!"

"Yeah, you're telling me? I had to LIVE it. Now, what exactly do you DO with a phone?"

"Well… you can call people, text, listen to music, play games…"

"Hold up. Uhh, what's texting?"

"Oh, boy. Ok, so…"

 **30 Minutes Later…**

"Ok, I think I got it now. So it's basically, like, the whole world fitted onto your hand. Right?"

"Well, something like that, I guess…"

"Now, how much do these things cost?" he asked, taking a drink of water.

"Well, this one cost me about, uh, 300 dollars, but-"

"WHAT?!" he asked, almost doing a spit take. "300 DOLLARS?! FOR THAT?!"

"Well, what did you expect?"

"I don't know, like, 20 dollars? 300 bucks can buy a LOT of stuff! And people spend it on THAT?"

"Well, yeah! It's not cheap to make those things, you know…"

"I want one."

"Well, if you get enough money for one, then go for it. But until then, have fun sleeping!"

She got up and walked upstairs, leaving Colin behind on the couch.

"Well… I guess I'm getting a job, then!"

 **The Next Day…**

"Ugh...Mondays. Luckily, we get out of school on Wenesday, so that's a plus… I guess."

Colin walked upstairs to see Lori frantically searching through the couch.

"Morning, chica. What're you doing? You look-"

"YOU! YOU TOOK IT!"

"What?" he asked, confused.

"Don't play dumb, Colin! I know you took it!"

"What, your phone? I haven't seen it since yesterday!" he stated as he began to help her search.

"Well, YOU were the only person who showed interest in it! And now it goes missing and you-"

"Uh, we really need to get moving, Lori. It's already 7:30. School starts at 8."

"But, my phone is still missing!"

"So?"

"I've never gone a day without it!"

"Well, there's a first for everything, isn't there? I've gone 16 years without a phone! I'm sure you can manage! Now come on! Everyone's waiting for us in the car!"

 **7 Hours Later…**

"God! What a day!" Colin complained as he plopped onto the couch. "I have SO MUCH HOMEWORK! It's gonna take ALL NIGHT to do this shit!"

Knowing that he had no choice, he sat up and began to get out the work. Unfortunately, Lori walked in the door next, mad that she hadn't had her phone all day.

"Excuse me? You aren't doing ANYTHING until you tell me where my phone is!"

"-sigh- This again? Look, Lori, for the last time, I have no idea-"

"LIAR! I bet if we go downstairs RIGHT NOW, I'll find it right next to your bed!"

"Uhh, no, you wouldn't, because, let's see here, I DON'T HAVE IT!"

"Well, we'll see about that! Come on!"

"Oh, boy… this should be interesting…"

 **3 Hours Of Vigorous Searching Later…**

"Now, WHAT did I tell you?! It's NOT down there! OR in the living room, OR in the kitchen, OR in the bathroom!"

Lori sat down on the couch, exhausted.

"Well, then where could it be?! I NEED that phone!"

It was at that point that Leni came down the stairs, being her usual bubbly self.

"Heeey, guys! What are you doing?"

"-sigh- Borhing, Leni. We're just looking for Loris phone. It isn't anywhere in-"

"Oh! Do you mean this?" she asked as she held up a familiar piece of metal. Loris eyes immediately lit up as she saw it.

"MY PHONE!" she yelled as she stood up and took it from her sister. She looked it over for damage, and seeing none, she turned back to her.

"Where was it?!"

"Hmmm… I found it this morning plugged in… I must have taken your phone by mistake!"

"Wait… so you're saying that you had her phone the WHOLE DAY, and you didn't tell her?"

"Hmm… sounds about right! I'm going to bed now! Night, guys!"

With that, she turned and walked back up the stairs, leaving both Colin and Lori in shock.

"Geez… sometimes I wonder about her…" Colin said as he turned back to his untouched pile of work. "And I still have all this to do. Just peachy."

He sat down to start, only to be joined by his sister on the couch.

"Don't worry about it, Colin. I'll do some of it for you."

"Uhh, that's nice of you and all, chica, but you aren't even IN these clases."

"Uhhh, I took them last year, genius," she retorted as she began to solve math problems. "And besides, I owe you a favor or two. I'm sorry I blamed you for taking my phone."

"Oh, it's no problem, Lori," he said as he leaned back, running his fingers through his cornrows. "Besides, I probably would have stolen it by now if Leni hadn't. Now I REALLY want a phone."

"Nice to know, bro. Now, how do you solve for Y again?"

"Oh, boy… not as sharp as you remember, huh?"

 **I had to rewrite this chapter, due to it being lost in my drive. Oh, well. I like this one better, anyways. Hope you enjoyed reading! Follow, Favorite, and even tell me what you think, if you want. Chao!**


	17. Lana (Bonus Chapter)

_"Will our captivating captain find her first mate, or will it be man overboard? Find out tonight as we set sail for love on...The Dream Boat."_

On a regular Wednesday evening in the Loud House, the kids sat around the television watching their favorite show. Well, except for Colin, who was sitting sideways on the chair.

"Karen, I DO love you! With all the heart I can-"

"No one cares!"

"Would you be quiet, Colin?" Lola snapped at the teenager. "We're TRYING to watch!"

"Well, I'm just saying! This show is pointless!"

"-sigh- Lincoln, pause the TV for a minute…"

"I mean, why do these shows ALWAYS have to have the most blatantly stereotypical contestants? I mean, they all have a single interest that sets them apart from each other!"

"Colin, I do sincerely hope you realize you are rambling again…"

"I know, chica! I'm just saying, it's basically a battle of what Karen likes more! I mean, if she was a goth girl, we wouldn't be having this conversation! Bram would have won by now!"

"Sigh… if only it were that easy…"

"I mean, if someone's gonna go find love, you'd want it to be… well, NATURAL!"

It still amazed Colin how well he had managed to adapt to his situation. He had gone from barely knowing what reality TV was to deeply analyzing it, all within a span of months! He couldn't put his finger on it, but he KNEW it had something to do with… well, his 'siblings.'

"I guess it's just natural…" he thought, brushing it off. At that moment, one of the twins stood up.

"Welp, I gotta check out now! I still need to feed 'El Diablo' tonight!" Lana stated as she walked towards the stairs.

"Woah, Woah, Woah… 'El Diablo?' The devil?"

"What? Oh, no! El Diablo is… well, one of my 'special' pets," she said, using finger quotes to emphasize her point. "You'll find out sooner than later!"

She ran upstairs, causing the other kids to resume their activities.

"Well, I'm confused now…"

"Aw, don't be, dude. Lans has got all kinds of things up there in her pad," Luna said as she strummed her ukelele.

"Yeah! And it ALWAYS get on MY side of the room!"

"Well, I don't know… I heard the Spanish and instincts took over, I guess…"

 **AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

The large scream that came from upstairs drew immediate attention. Lori jerked her head towards the sound, standing up in the process.

"What was that?"

"It sounded like Lana!"

"Well, duh, of course it's her," Lori said as she walked towards the stairs. "But why is she screaming?"

"I don't know…" Colin said as he stood up. "That sounded bad, though…"

"Colin, YOU go up!"

"What? Why me?"

"Uhh, because if it's a bad guy-"

"So you're gonna use me as a human shield?!"

"No! Well, kind of…. Well, yeah, but just go!"

Before you could say 'Serpiente,' Colin found himself at the front of the twins room.

"Uhh, chica? You alri-"

The door swung open, revealing Lana holding an empty glass fish tank.

"HE'S GONE! He must have gotten out somehow!" She said, trying to hold back tears.

"Well, what does he look like? Are you sure he's not in your room?" Colin asked, walking in. The room was completely different on either side. You had the princess theme on the one end and a veritable jungle growing on the other.

"-sniff- I checked! He isn't under my bed! Or under Lolas!"

"HE BETTER NOT BE!"

"Quiet, chica!" he yelled down the stairs as he turned back to her.

"When's the last time you saw him?"

"Uhh, this morning? Maybe? I was eating breakfast with Hops!"

"Hmmm… he could be anywhere by now. I'll help you look, Lana."

The girls face lit up as he stated his offer.

"You WILL? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"The pleasures all mine, chica. I have a soft spot for animals! Now, what are we dealing with here? Frog, Lizard?"

"Oh, El Diablo isn't a lizard! He's a Boa Constrictor! A snake!"

The words didn't even need to hit Colins ears before he knew. He took a step back, looking at the girl in horror.

"D-did you say… SNAKE?"

"Well, duh! What did you think I-"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the boy screamed as he hopped on Lolas bed, curling up in the fetal position.

"What's wrong, Colin? It's only a snake! Nothing wrong with that!"

"P-P-PLEASE don't say that word again…"

"What? Snake?"

"Oh, God! MAKE IT STOP!"

"Why are you- oooooooohhhhhhh, you're afraid of snakes, aren't you?"

"-sniff- I am NOT afraid of sna- THOSE THINGS!" he sat up, still shaking. "I-I-I love them!"

"Well, then WHY are you panicking, then?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"Uhhh… let's just say it had something to do with a zoo escape, ok? No more, no less!"

"Colin, we NEED to find him! It's too cold outside for him to live! He'll DIE!"

"Well, are we gonna let that happen? No! We aren't! Well find that snake, I guarentee it!"

 **1 Hour Later…**

"How have we NOT found this thing yet?!" Colin asked in frustration. "It's a MASSIVE sna- THING! It shouldn't be that hard!"

"Well, he's GOTTA still be in the house. The doors are locked. He won't be able to get out!"

"Uhh… what about the doggy door?"

"Hmm? Oh, that! I made some repairs to it a while ago! Works like a charm for keeping things out! And in this case, IN!"

"Alright, I'm hitting the hay. We'll look tommorow, okay, Lans?"

"Yeah… I guess…"

He could see the dissapointment on her face, but what could he do at that point? He had all day tommorow. He could look then.

"I promise you, Lana, we WILL find him. Got it?"

"Got it. Night, Colin…"

She walked into her room, closing the door behind her. Colin walked to the basement and settled in, hoping that he could think of a solution by morning.

 **4 Hours Later…**

 **HISSSSSSSSSS…**

The hissing sound didn't immediately wake up Colin. It was usual for random pipes to go AWOL at times, so it wasn't that big og a surprise.

The only thing was… this hissing was LOUD. As if it was right next to his bed…

He stirred in his sleep, mumbling as the hissing intensified.

"Hghhh… yeah, mama, tea is ready…"

It was then that he felt something putting weight on his leg. This time, he woke up, more angry than tired.

"What the hell, man?" he loudly whispered as he went to grab the flashlight from the side of his bed. He turned it on and shined it at his leg, where…

"What the…"

Resting on Colins leg was a large, green mass, but he couldn't tell what it was. It was too early for him to focus.

"What is that?" he thought to himself. "It has to be something big… or else it wouldn't be draped over… wait, it keeps going…"

He followed the green mass off the mattress, down the side… whatever it was, it was BIG. Almost as if-

Colin suddenly knew what was beside him. He became as rigid as a rock as soon as he put the pieces together.

"Oh, dear God … please don't do this…"

He forced himself to turn the flashlight directly to the left of his face, and after a brief hesitation, also turned his head.

The head directly facing him was the single largest snake he had ever seen. And that was NOT OK with him.

"El Diablo…" he said, absolutely horrified.

"HISSSSSSSS…"

 **AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

The scream echoed throughout the house, managing to wake up almost everyone in the process. Colin managed to jump to his feet and tun to the stairs, stumbling along the way.

"HELP! HELP ME! HELP ME, GOD DAMN IT!"

"WHAT'S GOING ON?!"

"WHO SCREAMED?!"

"IT SOUNDED LIKE LOLA!"

"IT WASN'T ME!"

Colin slammed the basement door open, managing to crack the doorknob in the process. He sprinted to the base of the stairs, where at least 5 people had gathered.

"Colin?! What's going-"

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" He screamed, running up the stairs. He tripped and fell on half of them, but he finally managed to get to the safety of the bathroom.

"Alright, what's going on?!" Lynn Sr asked as he opened his door, Rita following behind.

"Colin just started freaking out!"

"Yeah! It's like he saw a GHOST or something!"

"There are GHOSTS?!" Both the twins and Lucy asked.

"Colin?! What is the meaning of-"

"BLEEEACH!" Came the familiar sound of vomiting from the upstairs. The parents looked at each other, and after a minute, ran up the stairs to the bathroom door.

"Colin? What happened? Is the door unlocked, honey?"

"Y-Y-Yes…" he whimpered from behind the door.

"Ok, we're coming in, then…"

They opened the bathroom door, revealing the teen curled up in a ball beside the tub.

"Honey! Are you alright?!" Rita asked as she hurriedly walked to him, Lynn Sr close behind.

"I-It was r-r-right there… it was huge…"

"What was, Colin? Was it a bad dream?"

"It w-was a s-s-s-"

"A scary dream? Did you have a nightma-"

"SNAKE! SNAKE! SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!" He shouted, beginning to jerk his arms and legs wildly. Lynn Sr managed to hold him down long enough for him to settle down.

"Are you OK now?"

"-sniff- I think so… I don't know…"

"So you has a bad dream about a snake? We'll talk about the language later, but-"

"It wasn't a dream! It was real!" he cried out, tears welling from his eyes. A simple phobia had managed to bring him down to a babbling mess.

"What? Honey, there's no-"

"It was Lanas! It got out, a-and it w-was right next to m-my face!"

"Oh, honey…" she said, hugging him. Lynn Sr stood up and walked out of the hall, presumably to tell Lana about her pet.

"Did it hurt you, Colin? Are you-"

"It HISSED at me! It, it, it-"

"You're alright, you're alright… so it didn't hurt you?"

"N-No, I don't t-think so…"

"Alright, just sit up and take a deep breath. Got it?"

"Yeah…"

After a minute, he felt a lot more comfortable. Comfortable enough to tell Rita what had happened.

"Ugh… I TOLD Lana to keep the lid on her cage. As soon as we get up in the morning, honey, I'll make sure she-"

"No, no, it's not her fault. I'm the one that caused the trouble…"

"Well, how did you do that?"

"Well… I'm the one afraid, aren't I? I could have just, like, caught it or something. And not react like I did…

"Well, sweetie, a phobia isn't a big deal. It's just a bad memory you have of something."

He sniffed, thinking of the bad memory he had of snakes. That fateful day…

"It was in the summer, I think. I was 5. Me and my Mama were at the zoo… a-and then an alarm went off… the reptile room had lost a few sna- THINGS. So my mom and I… went to get something to eat…"

He stopped, trying to muster enough will to keep going. Rita was patient, silently awaiting his next line.

"And at the concession stand, I felt something. It was… around my foot, and it… it… it just slithered up my leg, and…"

"Did it bite you?"

He was silent. After a minute, he pulled his leg up to his chest, pointing at his thigh. It was clear to see a medium sized scar.

"It took 15 stitches. And everyone was just so… serious. I thought I was going to die."

"But did you?"

He looked at her, bewildered. What was she doing, trying to prove something?

"Well, duh! It was only a small one. A Kingsnake, I think is what they called it, at least… I didn't stick around to find out. I NEVER went to the zoo again. It took me 2 years to willingly go outside after that."

"Hmm… I see… honey, it's ok. I understand why you screamed like that. And, if we're being honest, I have a really dumb fear, too."

He smiled a bit. Rita having a fear? He couldn't imagine that!

"Heh… what is it?"

"Well… ever since I was a kid… I've always been afraid of… puppets."

He couldn't help but laugh at that.

"HAH! What?! Puppets? Why?"

"Would it be weird to say, I don't know? I just never liked them…"

"Wait. But what about Luans…"

"Oh, believe me, Colin, if I could get rid of that… THING, I would in a heartbeat…"

"HEY!" A familiar voice yelled from outside the door. "I heard that!"

"Kids, go back to bed! Me and Colin are talking!"

The sound of shuffling feet could be heard outside the door. Obviously the kids had been listening for a while.

"Well… I'm sorry I woke you guys up, then…"

"Colin, why are you apologizing? It's not a big deal. Any of the kids could do that, and believe me, they've done it for far stupider reasons."

"Really? You don't mind at all?"

"No, I don't. Now, I think it's time we go back to bed, alright?"

"Yeah, sound good to me…" he said as he stood up. But before he left, he turned back to her.

"Hey, uhh, can I sleep on the couch tonight? I, uh, just don't wanna go down-"

"Of course you can, sweetie. We'll talk about it in the morning, ok?"

"Ok… thank you, Rit- Mom…"

He walked back down the stairs, falling asleep almost immediately on the couch.

 **The Next Morning…**

As soon as Colin woke up, chaos immediately erupted.

"I want to ask him first!"

"No, I DO!"

"I want to talk to him!"

All around the couch, the Loud children were fighting over who got to see how he was doing. It flattered him, really.

But as he looked around, he noticed that one child was missing.

"Uhh… where's Lana?"

The kids stopped their brawl, realizing that she was missing.

"She's still upstairs," Lola answered. "She said she didn't feel well."

"Oh, boy… guys, I want to talk to Lana first, ok?"

A collective groan arose as Colin got up and walked upstairs. Soon, he found himself once again at the twins door.

He softly knocked, in the case that she was asleep.

"Lana? You awake?"

A minute passed before she gave a faint response.

"Go away…"

"Lana, I need to talk to you. Open the door, please."

"I don't want to…"

"Well, then I guess I'll just have to show myself in, then…"

He walked through the door, where he saw Lana laying on her bed, Hops next to her. Just from the way her face looked, Colin knew she had been crying.

"Hey, chica… how's the… you know, the-"

"El Diablo?" she said in a monotone voice. "Over there. He's fine… I guess."

"-sigh- Lana, you don't have to be so angry at yourself, you know…"

"I'm not angry at myself!" she said defensively. "I just… don't feel good! That's it!"

"Really?" he asked, skeptical. "Are you sure that doesn't have anything to do with last night?"

"Well… maybe a little bit, I guess… I should have put the lid on the cage."

"Well, what's done is done, now. Believe me, chica, I would have done the same thing if I owned a pet."

"Heh… really?"

"Oh, yeah… I'm not too organized in my head, you know? It's really my fault, when it comes down to basics. You shouldn't beat yourself up about it."

"But it isn't that simple, Colin!" she said, sitting up. "I made you scream last night! And throw up! And it's because of, well, me!"

"Lana, I'm not mad at you, do you understand that?"

"-sigh- Yeah… I guess I'm just mad at myself."

Colin walked over and sat on the side of her bed, a pensive look in his eyes.

"Chica, you have no reason to be mad at yourself. I'm the one with the fear, aren't I?"

"Well, yeah…"

"So why are you beating yourself up over it? No one is perfect, ok? Everyone forgets stuff. I assure you, I don't hate you. Honestly…"

He leaned over and whispered into her ear.

"Honestly, you're my favorite twin. Don't tell Lola."

She giggled. Colin knew he had won her over.

"Aww, thanks, Colin. And I won't tell Lola," she said with a wink.

"Sweet deal! Now, I've been meaning to ask you something else."

"Really? What?"

"Uhh… where do you keep the s-s-SNAKE, at?"

"Uhh, over there. Why?" she asked as he walked to where she pointed.

"I'm burying this fear forever, chica. It's pointless! So, I'm gonna TOUCH EL DIABLO."

"What?! Seriously?"

"Hel- Heck yeah! How bad can he be? I mean, is he venomous or anything?"

"Oh, not at all! He's harmless! Here, I'll get him out for you!"

A few seconds later, Lana had a snake half her size draped over her shoulders.

"Alright, so all you have to do is touch him. But NOT his head, got it?"

"Y-Yeah, I guess…" he stuttered, still a bit worried. He reached his hand out, and very gently, touched the boa.

"Oh, my god…"

"Good! Keep going!"

"Aleight, uhh, nice s-snake, nice snake…"

And even though it would take a while, Colin knew what was happening. From that point on, he wouldn't be as afraid as before. About anything…

 **Alright, I thought I'd give you a bonus chapter here. I originally put the twins together, but that was more Lola related, so here we are. I'm not afraid of snakes, but I am TERRIFIED of… -shudder- WASPS. I hate those things.**

 **Anyway, main plot coming back up! Next chapter, sparks will fly, and it will be amazing, believe me. Time Travelers Brother is going nicely, and I'm starting up the Bobby/Lori breakup story again! Stay tuned, people! Thank you for reading!**


	18. Luna

**Alright, main storyline again. I know how wrong it is to publish Christmas themed stuff around August, but what can you do? If you've got to this point in the story, then congrats! I must warn you, though, it might get a bit… 'hazy' going forwards, so you've been warned. Also, another heads up: 'L is for love' didnt happen in this story. Thanks in advance, and I hope you enjoy.**

It was just another normal afternoon at the Loud House for Colin Gomez-Loud. If, of course, you could say that ANY day was "normal" there. To these people, 'normal' was a foreign concept.

Fighting, in fact, was pretty natural, as evidenced tjat there was a huge one happening in the living room between all the siblings (not including Colin.)

"Oh boy, another fight!" Colin said as he sat down on the couch in front of the squabble. He had never really cared to join fights between the sisters and brother, but boy, did he love watching them!

"Hey, Lana, incoming!" He yelled as a sister jumped on her. It sucked what had happened between the two, so they were both doing their best to watch each other's backs.

"Boy, do I love these fights!" He said to no one in particular. "I mean, I had my arguments with Chica from time to time, but this is like World War 3 when these guys go at it! And it's ALWAYS over something stupid, like the remote! Hah! ...Wait, am I talking to a 4th wall or something?"

He was so deep in thought that he didn't even notice Lynn Sr and Rita walk in.

"Ok, what is all of this about?!" He said in his loudest voice possible, which caused the fighting to cease.

"We all want to write letters to Santa, but there's only 1 piece of paper there!" Lola whined (Typical, he thought to himself…)

"Well, did anyone think about going to the basement, where there's more paper?" Rita said.

There were assorted murmurs of agreement from the siblings.

"Alright then, that solves it! Colin, would you go down and get us some paper, please?"

"No problem, madre!" He said as he went downstairs.

"Geez, those guys seem to be making a big fuss over an imaginary dude..."

Colin had never really believed in Santa, not even as a kid. The whole idea had always Seemed preposterous to him, even before he had found his mother placing the gifts under the tree when he was only seven.

"Well, who cares! I've seen crazier things in my world, anyway! Who knows, maybe the big guy actually exsists in this universe! Heh!"

He chuckled to himself as he got the paper and went back upstairs.

 **1 Hour Later...**

"OK, is everyone's letter to Santa done?"

"Yeah!" The kids said in unison.

"Wait a minute! Colin didn't write a letter!" Lincoln said. In less than five seconds, all eyes were on him like a spotlight.

"Well, I don't really..."

He was interupted by 11 voices shouting out different tidbits of advice.

"C'mon, Colin!"

"Don't ruin the Christmas spirit!"

"Have a little fun, dude!"

Finally, he caved in.

"OK! I'll write Santa a letter!"

He got a piece of paper and jotted down a quick message:

 _Hey, Abuelo,_

 _For Christmas this year, I would like a phone. Or tickets to a football game. Whatever you or your midgets can come up with._

 _Sincerely, Colin_

"There! My letter is done!" He said as he put it into an envelope.

"Perfect! Now all you kids need to do is take your letters to the mailbox!"

The kids looked outside to see the mailbox, only it was obscured by a massive snowstorm outside.

"Uh, I think I'll pass," Lori said, to everyone else's agreement.

"Hey! Since Colin was the last to finish his letter, let's make HIM go out and do it!" Lola said, still showing strands of her green hair from Colins previous prank.

"What?! Oh, c'mon! I'm not-"

Once again, he was interrupted, this time with everyone giving them their letters and practically shoving him out the door into the cold.

"Wow, the nerve of those hijos!" He said as he checked the envelopes, soon noticing something odd about one of them.

"Huh. Someone didn't close their letter all the way," he observed, pulling it out of the stack and checking the name written on it.

"To: Santa. From: Luna Loud," He read out loud.

"Luna. She's been acting pretty strange around me lately, and I don't know why..." he thought. "Like when I went to get my revenge on Luan. Or last week at school..."

 **-FLASHBACK-**

"Ugh, nothing but homework!" Colin said as he walked out of class with his friend, Waldo. "I mean, we're given a lot of it in math and english, but in CIVICS? come on!"

"Well, I think that it's pretty logical of the teachers. I mean, they need to put grades in the grade book, do they not?"

"Well, yeah, but you think they'd give us some slack before Christmas and all! Like, it's not-"

He was cut off as he ran into someone in the hallway. Looking up, he saw Luna standing there, holding her books under her arm.

"Oh, sorry Luna! Didn't see where I was going."

"No problem, dude! Happens to the best of em!" she said, but Colin was now more focused on the piece of scrap paper that had fallen out of Lunas hands.

He picked it up and of flipped it over, where he saw a crudely drawn picture of two people holding hands. The one figure reminded Colin of Luna, and the other looked like a poorly drawn mini version of himself.

"Uh, I think you dropped this, Luna," he said as he held out the paper to her.

As soon as Luna saw which paper he had in her hand, her face immediately turned a bright shade of fire hydrant red. She reached out and snatched it from his hand, stammering over her words looking for an explanation.

"Oh, uh, thanks! Uh, that's just my, uh, project for art! Yeah, that's it! Nothing more than that! Heh heh!"

"Uh, OK then. Well, see you at lunch," he said as he walked away with Waldo., slightly curious about what had just happened.

 **-END OF FLASHBACK-**

"...but I don't know what's gotten into her. Oh, well. I wonder what she wants from Santa..."

He carefully took the letter out of its envelope and read it to himself:

 _Dear Mom and Dad,_

 _Yeah, I know it's you guys who read these letters. I'm not dumb. But if I had to get anything for Christmas, I would definitely want the new Dr. Bre headphones. They're coming out this Thursday at midnight, and they're expected to sell out in 2 hours! Hope you can get me a pair!_

 _From, Luna_

"Well geez, all she wants is headphones? What even are those?" He asked out loud. "Well, I'm sure that my padres will come through in the end. Now, off to Santa! Or, right back inside. Depends on who you ask."

 **4 Hours Later...**

"Alright, alright! Thursday Night Football!" Colin said as he sat down on the couch to watch the game. He had to negotiate for a while with his siblings to watch the game, but it would be worth it to watch the Chargers take on the Browns in primetime.

As he settled in for the game, however, he overheard both of his parents in the kitchen, talking. Curious, he snuck over to investigate, staying just out of their sight.

"Wow, the kids are getting more expensive by the day, Rita! I mean, Leni wants a brand new makeup kit, Luan wants a new unicycle, and Lola wants a whole lot of hair dye..."

"Well, at least Lana stays consistent with her gift. But of course, getting a jackhammer would be risky..."

"Lincoln wants comic books and a video game, and Colin wants a cellphone! Seriously, expensive stuff!"

"Oh, we forgot to open Lunas letter, dear. Can you get that?"

"I'll read it... hmm, headphones? That might actually be possible. Look it up, Rita."

"Looking it up. Uh, Lynn, honey, come look at this..."

Lynn took one glance at the price, and he instantly did a double take.

"350 dollars? For a pair of headphones?! What kind of idiot pays that kind of money for that?!"

"Well, we DO have that money from my Christmas bonus..."

"No. No way. That is an insane amount of money for that. And besides, im not going on a stakeout at midnight at Walmart. We'll get her a new pair of drumsticks or something."

"Oh, ok, but don't come crying to me when she's disappointed in the morning," Rita said as Colin hurried back to the couch.

"Wow. $350?! That is loco!" He thought. "Well, I mean, drumsticks ARE better than nothing, though…"

His mind suddenly raced back to the very beginning, when Luna had suggested that he stay with them. It went through all the memories, from the many lunches and evenings shared together...

"But, of course, she's not gonna be happy when she opens up her gift on Christmas and gets them…"

He sat back in the chair, sighing.

But there isn't anything I-"

"I know what you can do."

"Good lord, Lucy!" He yelped as his goth sister snuck up once again behind him. "How did you even know what I was thinking?!"

"Simple. You were saying it out loud. But anyways, I know what you should do."

"Hmmm... Well, it's not like I have any ideas right now… I'm listening."

"You borrow mom's credit card and go to the Dr Bre store in Detroit. Then you camp out and wait for the store to open, buy the headphones, and no one will know. It sounds good to me."

He stared at her for what felt like eternity.

"That… is insane, Lucy. Steal mom's credit card? Head to Detroit? It sounds too risky."

"But wouldn't it be worth it to make Luna happy?"

"I don't know, would she even care if I got her them?"

She sighed, this being a real one instead of her typical ones.

"Colin, think about your previous encounters with Luna. Does anything feel odd to you about them?" She said in her monotonous voice.

"Hmmmm..." he thought hard about his previous meetings with his punk rock sister. "No, not really."

"Sigh… you'll figure it out eventually. Do what you think is right, Colin. And if you decide to take my advice, I'll cover for you."

"That's very nice of you, Luce. I'll think-" he turned around to find Lucy gone.

 **The Next Day...**

"And I don't know what to do!" Colin said to Bobby over the home phone. The family had gone to visit some aunt of theirs, leaving him free at the house.

"I mean, I don't want her to be disappointed or anything, but at the same time, I don't want to get in any trouble!"

"Hmm… it sounds to me like you care an awful lot about making Luna happy, dude. You want to sneak out, camp out on a street corner for a cold night in December, just to get these for her?"

"Well… I guess that's a way to put it, yeah. She's always been there for me, I figured I'd return the favor!"

"...Right. So, what do you need?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah! Do you know anyone that could drive me there?"

"Uhh, you're talking to him, bro! I just got my license last week!" Bobby said as he pulled out his new drivers license.

"Awesome! So you'll help me?"

"Hell yeah! I've only ever been to Detroit twice before, but it's not very far away or anything. Only like an hours drive or two from here."

"Thanks, dude! You're a lifesaver!" he said, hanging up. He began to jump on his heels in excitement.

"I can't believe that I'm actually doing this!"

 **That Same Night, 10:00 P.M...**

"I c-can't believe that I'm a-a-actually doing t-this..."

Colin mumbled the words to himself over and over as he sat on a Detroit street corner only five blocks away from the Dr. Bre store. It was around negative fifteen degrees that night, so it didn't help that all Colin had was a pair of blue jeans and his Michigan hoodie on.

Bobby, however, had come much more prepared to face the weather, wearing a coat, gloves, and a Lions baseball hat.

"You cold yet, bud?" He asked Colin, who was shivering mightily.

"Not at all!" he lied, trying to surprise his shivers. He wasn't just shivering from the cold, however. He was shivering because he had also "borrowed" his mom's debit card, snuck out past curfew, and had walked to Bobbys house eight blocks away from his.

"Well, I told you that it would be cold. Take my gloves," he said, taking them off his hands, which he shoved into his pockets when he threw them to Colin.

"T-t-thanks," he muttered as he put them on. "I-i didn't expect t-t-this many p-people."

"Well, this IS the headquarters of the Dr. Bre company. And the factory is here, too. So I figured it would be a big-"

"Colin? Bobby?" A voice called out from the dark. Looking around, Colin saw Pete and Herb, his friends from school, walk down the street towards them.

"W-w-what's up, guys?" He asked, holding his arms to his face so his breath would warm them.

"Oh, we're just here to get these headphones! They're ranked #1 in rock magazines survey of best headphones of the year!"

"C-cool. I'm here to get then too."

"Uhh, you sound cold, dude. There's a fire up there. Let's get you warmed up, buddy."

* * *

"Thanks," Colin said as they huddled around the fire. "I should've asked for a jacket for Christmas, instead of a phone. Ha!"

"You sound a lot better than before, I'll give you that. Now, if you don't have a phone, Colin, then why are you buying headphones?" Herb asked as he pulled out a raw hotdogs from his pocket.

"Uhh, more importantly, how long did you have that there?"

"Uhh, I don't know, few hours? But that didn't answer the question!"

"Oh, well, they aren't for me. They're for Luna."

"Heh, Luna? The queen of rock and roll at Royal Woods High School?" Another man asked from across the fire.

"Yep, she's the one. She really wants these, so I figured-"

"That's real cute, dude. Staking out the store get your girl these headphones."

"Yeah, it was the least I could- wait, my… what now?" He asked.

"You know! Why else would you be out here for her if you weren't a couple?" Pete asked.

"Yeah! It seems kinda weird if you weren't!"

"Oh, no, guys, you got it ALL wrong. I'm just..."

He suddenly thought back to his first day of school, when he sat down at the lunch table with this 4 oldest sisters. He remembered seeing Luna laugh, how he had almost fallen out of consciousness after gazing into her eyes…

He thought of the night he went to take revenge on Luan, how his sister had tried to talk to him before he left, but had failed miserably...

He remembered Tuesday in the hall, the drawing that Luna had made of her and someone else that Colin could only assume was him... he thought of what Lucy had been trying to tell him Tuesday night…

He slowly began feel sick as he reached the stunning conclusion.

"Luna has a crush on me. And… I have a crush on Luna."

"NOW you realize that, Chico?!" Bobby said incredulously as he thought back to that first day in the cafeteria. "I mean, I THOUGHT it was weird when you said the fish sandwich was good, but I realized it later that day! And it took YOU about 3 months to get the message?"

"I don't know. I guess that I never really thought about her that way."

"Well, that settles it! Colin is getting these headphones for his future girlfriend!" Herb laughed, sending the rest of the group into laughter. Colin felt his cheeks grow red, and not from the cold. All of a sudden, the headphones didn't seem as big of a deal anymore.

"Oh, forget this," Colin said suddenly as he walked back to Bobbys car, feeling quite nauseous at that point.

"Dude, where are you going?" Bobby ssid, chasing after him.

"Home. This is pointless."

"I thought that you just said you liked Luna, and now you're going to leave her hanging?"

"Look, Bobby, maybe I do like Lun!" he said defensively, turning back to him. "But we can't be together, Bobby! She's my sister! I can't date my sister!"

"Umm, you told Ronnie Ann that Lincoln wasn't technically your brother. How is this any different?"

"Well, that's different! I've gotten to… uh, how do you know what I told Ronnie Ann?"

"Uh, news flash, dude, Ronnie Ann is my sister."

"Really? Gee, they way Lincoln described her, it sounded like she was raised by trolls or something."

"...I'm gonna forgive you that one time, Bro, but you like Luna back, don't you?"

"Well, yeah, but..."

"But what? If you like her, then what's stopping you from getting her those headphones?"

"The fact that I've never actually been in a relationship before? And if it gets far enough involved, then I'm afraid about..." his voice trailed off as he thought about rather… interesting things the two could do.

"Dude, you're over thinking this. Just buy her the headphones. That's all you need to worry about at the moment. Until then, you can just-"

 **DING! DONG!**

"Dude, that's the midnight bell!" Pete shouted as he stood up. "We have to go fast if we want those headphones!"

"C'mon, Colin. This could be the start of something big."

Colin thought about it. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he could see a future with Luna. And as cheesy as it sounded, he was happy with her. And from what he was assuming, she was happier with him.

"Fine. Let's run like the devil and get those headphones.

"Now THAT'S the Colin I know!" Bobby said as they sprinted at full speed to the entrance of the store.

 **6 Hours Later...**

"What. A. Night!" Colin explained as he got out of Bobbys car and walked to the front door. He quietly opened the door, sneaked inside, and had reached the kitchen when...

"How was it?"

"GAH!" Colin yelped rather loudly as Lucy scared him again. It took him a second to catch his breath before he panted out another sentence.

"You always find a way to do it, Luce."

"It's what I do. Did you get the headphones?"

He put the bag he held in his hand on the table and pulled out a large, white box with the Dr. Bre logo on the side.

"I may have had to punch some people in self defense, but it was worth it, Lucy. Boy, Luna is gonna be PUMPED!"

"Speaking of Luna, did you think about-"

He sighed, a frown coming across his face.

"Yes, Lucy, I did. I realized I like Luna."

"Colin, she really cares for you. I see her in her room when I'm up in the vents, and all she does is either write songs with your name in them or write in her diary. It's... sickening."

"I feel that this may be the start of something, Lucy. Something big."

"Me too, Colin. Me too."

And for the first time that Colin saw, Lucy smiled. It was a small grin, but still, anything counted.

"Thank you, Lucy. You gave me the idea to do this in the first place."

"You're welcome. Now get downstairs, because Mom and Dad could wake up any minute now. They tend to be early risers."

"You got it, Lucy. I'll pay you back for this one!"

"I accept blood donations. Not for me, though. Fangs prefers O positive…"

With that, Colin made his way downstairs, holding the bag and the headphones close, so they wouldn't be hurt.

And he thought about Luna the whole way down.


	19. Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the Loud House, not a creature was stirring, EXCEPT for Colin Gomez-Loud, who was surprisingly wide awake. While he wasn't exactly known as a 'night person,' there was much more than Christmas going

through his mind that night.

"OK, how do I wrap a gift?" he asked himself as the present he planned to give to Luna sat on his dresser, the wrapping paper still neatly lay unwrapped. "I mean, it can't be that difficult, can it?"

He began to clumsily throw paper onto the box, not exactly knowing what he was trying to do.

"I just, uh, put the paper over the box, and, uh, tape it? No, thats-"

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud noise above his head. He payed no attention to it, thinking that Charles must have knocked over something, but it was soon followed by another loud thud on the ground.

"What the..." he said to himself as the thuds continued. "That...doesn't sound good…"

Grabbing his flashlight, he slowly opened the door and creeped his way upstairs.

"It can't be a burglar... not on Christmas..." he whispered to himself, trying to reassure his mind. But as he entered the kitchen, he looked into the living room to see a large person crouching in front of the tree.

"Oh my god, it IS a burglar!" he thought, his eyes growing wide. "Oh, SHIT! Lana's in there, too!"

For you see, the twin was doing her yearly stakeout on the couch, trying to catch the big guy himself in the act. It was always in vain, however, as she usually fell asleep before 11:00 P.M.

Looking around, Colin grabbed the closest thing in his reach, the metal snow shovel that was used for the sidewalk. He crept into the room, slowly, as he held the shovel like a sword.

The intruder stood up and turned around, facing Colin in the process.

"What the-"

 **WHAM!**

The man crumpled into a heap, laying belly down on the ground. Colin, knowing he had delivered a knockout blow, set the shovel down.

He quickly turned the body over (with some muscle, since the man was unusualy fat,) expecting to see a rat like face and a ski mask, maybe even a crowbar. But to his shock, the man he had knocked out was...OLD. he had a long, white beard, with red, puffy cheeks, and wearing a strange red hat.

"Well, that's weird..." he said out loud as Lana woke up from her long winter nap.

"What's going on?" She asked slowly as she saw Colin standing over her.

"Chica, are you ok?" He quickly asked her.

"I'm fine, but why are you up here? And-"

She stopped talking as she quickly caught sight of the man that was lying on the ground.

"That's...that's..."

"Chica, someone broke in. You need to go upstairs, or, or call 911, or-"

"THAT'S SANTA!" The little girl squealed in delight as she ran over to him.

"What?!" He said shocked as he looked back at the man.

"You caught Santa! He's right there!"

"But, but Santa doesnt-"

"Why is he sleeping?" She asked curiously.

"Uhh, well, you see, there's a funny story about that..."

 **5 Minutes Later…**

"You did WHAT?!"

"I knocked Santa out. With a snow shovel," Colin said feebly.

"WHY?!"

"Uhh, because I thought he was ROBBING us?!"

"Dude, have you NEVER seen a picture of Santa Claus before?!"

"Not really! Maybe when I was 6 or 7, but not since then!"

"Well, what are we supposed to do? He still has millions of kids to give toys to!"

"I know, I know! But I don't know what to do!"

It was at that moment that Santa began to awaken. He slowly opened his eyes as he quietly observed the sibling go at it over their next actions.

"Do we pour water on his head or something?!"

"No! We have to get an air horn and blow it in his ear!"

"And wake up half the house! You're 6! What do you know?!"

"At least I'M not scared of snakes!"

"Why, YOU LITTLE-"

Finally, he spoke up.

"What seems to be the problem?"

The kids both looked at the jolly old man, very different reactions on their faces.

"SANTA!" Lana squealed as she ran to hug him.

Colin stared in awe. After a moment, he managed to squeak out a statement.

"Santa...you exist."

"Do I? I hadn't noticed," he replied sarcastically.

"B-but that's impossible! I saw my Madre putting gifts under the tree from you!"

"Colin, you expect me to get to every kids house in the world, all in one night? No, no, no. I go to certain kids houses every 4 years or so. I visited YOUR house, in fact, when you were 3, 5, 7, 11, and 14, precisely. It's not easy being me, Colin, but I manage."

"How do you know my name?"

"Well, I see you when your sleeping, don't I? And I know when you're awake? I know about every kid in the world, Colin."

"Do you know MY name, Santa?" Lana excitedly asked him.

"Of course I do, Lana. But let's see... in the Loud house, there's Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lincoln, Lucy, Lola, Lana, Lisa, Lily, and it looks like Colin as well. You sure love the L's in this family, don't you, Lynn Sr and Rita?"

"Hmm... I'm still not completely satisfied," he said, now more creeper out than curious. "Anyone keeping serious tabs on us would know our names."

"-sigh- I guess we're doing this the hard way, then. Colin, when you were 5, you wanted a skateboard. When you were 7, you requested a magic set. 11, a San Diego Chargers jersey, for Ladanian Tomlinson, I believe. And 16, a cellphone. Or tickets to a football game, whatever this abuelo and his midgets could come up with."

He stared at the old man in awe. There's no way he could have known that! Unless...

"Ok, ok, I'm convinced. Are you OK, though? I hit you pretty hard..."

"Oh, it's just a broken nose, I believe. Mrs Claus will have that fixed in no time."

"Can I ask you something, Santa?"

"-sigh- No, "Elf" was not based on true events. But if that wasn't the question, go on."

"Do you know EVERYTHING about me?"

"Well... when you were 2, you swallowed a spider, when you were 4, you bit a dog on its leg, when you were 7, you met Barack Obama as he was campaigning in San Diego, when you were 13, you had your first kiss, and when you were 16, you were sucked into a magic portal, teleported to this world, started school, met new friends, and MAY have developed a bit of a crush on one of your 'sisters…'"

Santa said the last line with a small wink, which confused Lana.

"What? Who does Colin like?" She asked, eavesdropping on the conversation. "Who is it?"

"Oh, I'll tell you when you're older, Chica… if I get lucky..."

"Or you'll find out later in the year," Santa said matter of factly.

"Now, I have some presents for both of you kids."

He pulled out 2 presents from his bag, one of them a big box, the other a small gift.

"Now, DON'T open them right now. Wait until the morning. And I WILL know if you've been peeking! I see everything, after all..."

Colin looked back up at St. Nick sheepishly, not really knowing what to do.

"thanks, Santa. Sorry I, uh, whacked you over the head."

"Oh, that's just a small scratch on your resume. It's nothing. What you SHOULD be worried about is you and Luan dyeing Lolas hair green. I will admit though, it WAS creative."

He then leaned over and whispered into Colins ear.

"Let me tell you, Colin, Luna is a keeper. You two will be very happy. If, of course, you decide to date and all..."

"I intend for that to happen, Abuelo. I hope it's great..."

Santa and Colin shared a quick smile. Some pretty weird things had happened to Colin up to that point, but THIS… this might have taken the cake.

"Well! I have to get back to delivering presents now. Goodbye, Lana. Colin. I hope to see you both again in the future."

"You too, Santa!" They said in unison as he went back to the chimmney, climbing under the mantle.

"And remember, I'm always watching! Be good to your parents! And remember to brush twice a DAAAAAAAY!" he said as he flew up the chimney.

Colin and Lana ran outside to see a sleigh and 9 reindeer flying through the sky, the man at the helm shouting out commands:

 **"On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer, on Vixen! On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen! And I DO recall the most famous reindeer of all, Fly Rudolph, Fly!"**

They watched him until he disappeared into the night. The two stood in shocked awe before Colin broke the silence.

"Wow. I truly believe in Christmas, now."

"Me, too! I wonder if he got me that jackhammer I wanted..."

"No peeking, Lana! You heard the man," he said as he walked inside, going downstairs to try and figure out how to wrap his present.

When he got there, however, there it was, wrapped and with a nice bow on top.

"What?!" He wondered incredulously as he saw a piece of paper lying beside it. Picking it up, he read the words, which had been written in an elegant font:

 _"Colin, I hope that Luna likes your present. Don't worry, I had trouble wrapping when I first started, too! Sincerely, Abuelo Claus."_

"Wow. Just, wow."

He ran upstairs, put his gift under the tree, and ran back down to the basement, falling asleep before his head even hit the pillow.

 **The Next Morning…**

"Christmas!" Colin said excitedly as he got out of bed and rushed upstairs, where most of his siblings had already gathered in the living room.

"Dude, what took you so long? We're all ready to open gifts!" Lynn said as Colin walked into the room.

"Yeah! And we're still trying to wake up Lana, too! You two sleep like a couple of Poler Bears!" Lola said.

"Well, I had a pretty good dream I had last night. I didn't want to wake up from it!"

"No excuses! We want to open gifts!" Someone else said as Lana finally came down the stairs, looking extremely tired.

"Ugh, what time is it?" She asked as the sisters (and 2 brothers) dove into the gifts.

"Yes! Ace Savvy, I can't wait to binge read you after the morning is done!"

"Oh boy, a new unicycle! I guess I won't "Wheel"y be using the old one anymore! Ha ha, get it?"

"Hair dye, you and I are gonna have a lot of good memories together. Lots and lots of them..."

"YES! A JACKHAMMER! Thanks, Santa!"

"Oh boy, a "#1 Dad" mug. Just what I always wanted."

"What?! A football signed by Jim Harbaugh?! With my name on it?! Wow! Thanks Colin!"

"You're welcome!" Colin said from his spot by the door where he opened his gifts. He had received a gift card for McDonalds, a Chargers hoodie, a book on Michigan football, and tickets to a Lions game. But there was still one gift left for him to open.

"Let's see what the old man brought me," he mumbled as he got his gift that Santa had personally gave to him. He tore open the present, revealing a bright white box.

"An "Iph one 7?" What's thats?"

"No, Colin, that says "IPhone 7!" You got a phone!"

"What?! SWEET!" He said excitedly. At last, the world was in his fingers!

"So THIS IS what it feels like to rule the world, then…" he mumbled as he glanced over at Luna. She had gotten a lot of gifts, mostly CDs and posters of rock icons, but there was still a small look of disappointment on her face.

He then glanced to the tree, where there was one gift left, which was very fancy wrapped and addressed to a certain sister.

It was time to put the plan into action.

"Hmm, there's still a gift left under the tree here," he said out loud, practically leaping over to get it. He did, and he read the tag to himself before announcing it.

"It's to Luna!"

"What?" She said as Colin handed her the box. Her face immediately lit up as soon as she ripped open the packaging and revealed the Dr. Bre logo on the side.

"Aw, SICK, DUDE! This is exactly what I want..." her voice trailed off as she read who the gift was from.

"Wow, honey, that's a, uh, wonderful gift! Dear, check your debit card transactions," Lynn Sr whispered to his wife.

 **10 Minutes Later…**

"And just like that, Christmas was saved by a couple of mariachi trumpet players!"

"Woah… and I thought Luna would WANT to hear this…"

"Eh, I don't know, chico. Traditional Gomez family Christmas stories aren't for everyone…" Colin said as the crowd dispersed from where he sat on the stairs. Everyone was moping around, either tired out from the morning or help preparing for dinner.

"Alright, so Christmas is down! Now I have New Years to think about..."

"Hey, dude."

He looked up to see Luna standing above him on the steps, wearing a purple hoodie and sweatpants.

"Hey! What's up, Luna?" He asked, trying to sound as not guilty as possible.

"Well, dude, I was reading the tag on my gift, and it said that it was from you. Did you get me these?"

"Hmmm… uh...Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't. It's whatever you want to…"

The stare on Lunas face told him all he needed.

"Yeah, it was me."

"Well, how, though?! These must have cost you a fortune!"

"Well, see, it's a long story..."

 **10 Minutes Later…**

"And that's how I got these!" He said, leaving out the bit about the fat guy in a red suit that wrapped the gift for him.

"Dude... you did all of that, for ME?"

Colin was suddenly at a loss for words. What did he say? He knew where this was heading… he thought… oh, well. Might as well live a little.

"Yeah. I did."

"Thanks, Colin. Really, thank you."

"Was that it?" he thought, somewhat dissapointed. "Well, THAT was a waste of…"

He looked up, suddenly getting an idea.

"Uh, Luna, look where you're standing..."

She looked up to see the green and red mistletoe hanging above their heads. She looked back down, looking slightly nervous now.

"You know, I don't have to… you know, DO IT, if you don't-"

"Oh, you're doing it, dude. You walked right into it…"

"Well, can't argue with that, I guess…"

Colin stood up, leaned in, and kissed Luna on the cheek.

"Merry Christmas, Luna," he said to the girl, smiling.

"Merry Christmas, Love," she said, her face fire hydrant red.

"So… does this mean we're a…"

"If you want? Maybe? Sure?"

"That's all it took, babe. That's all it took...

Colin then had another bold idea. He looked outside, then back at Luna.

"You look a little warm, there, Luna."

"Well, you DID just kissed me, so-"

"I think that you need to cool down a little bit."

"What? What do you-" she said as she was interrupted by Colin picking her up in his arms.

"Woah, woah! Where are we going?!" She said, trying to hide a smile.

"I'm taking you to cool down!" He said matter of factly, but with a chuckle, as he opened the door and walked out to the snow covered front lawn.

"Colin Gomez-Loud! Do not drop me in the snow or I swear..."

"Don't worry, chica, I won't drop you."

"Oh, thank god..."

"I'LL THROW YOU, THOUGH!" He said loudly as he tossed Luna into a snowbank.

"You little...!" She said as she got out of the snow with a snowball as Colin laughed his head off on the side.

"Hey, now, you stay away from me with that!" He said as she threw it right at his head, hitting him in the chest.

"Oh, I see...This. Is. War!"

He picked up snow and threw it at Luna. Soon, they were throwing snow in all directions, as the other kids shuffled out to see what they were doing.

"Hey! Can we join?" Lincoln yelled out the doorway to the two lovebirds.

"Hmm, well, I don't kno- DIBS ON LYNN!" Colin said, shouting the last part.

"Well then, I get Lola, dude!"

As he picked his team and fought for victory over his new girlfriends team, Colin thought to himself.

"Man, I think I love her." he thought as he aimed his first shot and fired.


	20. The First Date

**5 Days Later...**

"Oh man, dude, what do I do?!" Colin Gomez asked his brother Lincoln as he paced around the living room. "I have to make our first date the best date, or else Luna's gonna dump my sorry ass!"

"Well, maybe you should stop worrying about it so much. Do you have any ideas on what you two should do on this date?"

"No, chico, I don't! That's the problem! I can't take her anywhere, because I'm poor, I can't do anything over the top, because im poor, I can't do anything because I'm poor!"

It had been almost a week since Colin and Luna had official started dating. He had only told a few confidents about his relationship with his "sister," including Lincoln. Needless to say, he wasn't too thrilled to begin with...

 **-FLASHBACK-**

"You WHAT?!"

"I kissed Luna. Do you need your ears checked or something, chico? I've told you that, like, 10 times now."

"Why would you do that?!"

"Well, she was under the mistletoe! It would've been stupid not too!"

"Dude! You don't just kiss someone under the mistletoe! That's NOT how it works!"

"Dude, YOU'RE the one that told me about it! This is YOUR fault, if anyone's!"

"Ok, ok... Listen, as long as you two aren't dating or anything, I'll forgive you. But just this one-"

He stopped as he saw the awkward grin on his brothers face.

"Actually, that's the other thing I wanted to talk about, Linc..."

 **2 Minutes Later...**

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU'RE DATING HER?!"

"What do you THINK I mean?! I'm dating Luna!"

"SHE'S YOUR SISTER!"

"Ok, ok, keep your voice down, dude. As much as you hate me right now, I really don't care for mom and dad to find out..."

"And more importantly, she's MY sister! Who do you think you are, trying to take her from us?!"

"TAKE HER? No no no, you have the wrong idea, Lincoln. I'm not running away anytime soon with her. I just figured, I don't know, coffee sometimes over the weekend, or walking through the park, or.."

"Getting in bed with her?"

"WHAT?! NO!" Colin said, disgusted. "HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS?!"

"Two words, Colin. HEALTH CLASS. Never take it."

"Ummm… ok? Lincoln, I just want to make sure you're on board with this. I don't want you finding out about it it he wrong way..."

"Well… as long as you aren't going out every night to make out somewhere, I'm good."

"Thank god! I was really scared, for some reason."

"Well, you should have been," he said, puffing up his chest. "Are you gonna tell anyone else?"

"Well, I figured that I might as well tell Luan. I mean, I'm close to her and I all and I don't want her to be left in the dark... Lincoln, PLEASE don't tell anyone. I don't think that people are ready to hear this..."

"Relax, Colin. I won't tell anyone. The secrets safe with me."

"One more thing. This conversation didn't happen, got it?"

"Got it."

 **-END OF FLASHBACK-**

"Lincoln, do you have any spare cash?" Colin said, getting a bright idea.

"No... just my birthday money..."

"Perfect!" He said as he ran upstairs. "I'll remember to give you an I.O.U!"

"Wait! Why don't you use YOUR birthday money?!"

"Chico, March 19 is 3 months away! I can't wait that long!"

 **4 Hours Later...**

"You ready for the best night of your life, chica?" Colin asked Luna as they walked out the door of the Loud House into the cold, winter air. A light snowfall dusted the landscape, with more continuing to peacefully fall.

"I'm stoked, Love! What are we doing first?"

"Well, I don't know. What are you thinking of?"

"I don't really know... how about something to eat?"

"Sounds good to me! Where do you suggest?"

"Ummm..."

 **15 Minutes Later...**

"Not exactly what I had in mind, but at least it's cheap," Colin said as he and Luna sat at a small kiosk at Burger King.

"Well, I thought there'd be more open on Tuesday," Luna said defensively. "I would've gone to Buffalo Wild Wings if we had more money..."

"Hey, as long as we're spending time together, than that's all that matters, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess..." she said, looking slightly disappointed.

Trying to change the subject, Colin asked, "So have you told anyone? About, us?"

"Well, I told some of my friends. They can keep secrets, so it's all good. How about you?"

"I told Lincoln. And Luan, but that's it."

"What?! Why would you tell Luan?!"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Well, she isn't exactly known for being close lipped, bro. And it might be kinda awkward, cause we share a room and all..."

"ORDER NUMBER 325!"

"That's us," Colin said as he got up and walked to the counter to get their food.

"Colin?"

He turned around to see both Bobby and Lori standing behind him.

"Bobby! Lori!" He said, trying not to panic. If they saw that he was on a date with Luna, Lori would tell mom and dad for sure! He meekly stood before them, finally coming up with words.

"What're you guys doing here?"

"Well, Bobby and I were SUPPOSED to go on a nice date tonight, but I guess everything is closed on Tuesdays in this town. So here we are. What about you?"

"Me? I was just, uh, hanging out here, you know. By myself, of course..."

"Dude, you got enough food there?" Bobby asked, looking at the food Colin and Luna were to split.

"Well, you know me! I eat like a mule!" He said, now beginning to hyperventilate.

"Hey dude, let's sit together! We can talk at your table!"

 _"God damn it, Bobby, completely wrong thing to say,"_ Colin thought. He fought in vain to come up with a good excuse.

"Oh, no, dude, we can't do that."

"What? Why?"

"Well, because, ummm... Spider!" He shouted as he pointed towards the ground. Both Bobby and Lori panicked just long enough for Colin to get Lunas attention. He silently managed to have her get under the table as they looked back up.

"Must have been a false alarm or something. Well, why can't we-"

"Actually, nevermind. I thought that the food was still being made, but I guess not," he mumbled as he grabbed the tray and brought it back to his table.

 **5 Minutes Later...**

"And so then I was all like, "That's not your TV remote, Herb, it's Petes!"

"Yeah, cool..." Colin said as he quietly panicked internally. Not only was this date taking a U-turn, his girlfriend was currently underneath the table, trying not to make a sound, and he was currently trying to choke down 2 whoppers and a 10 piece chicken nugget meal. He hated to do it, but he needed to kick Bobby and Lori out of the kiosk.

"Hey, guys, do you think you could move to a different table? I have to, uh, figure out how to program my phone," he lied.

"Why do we need to move for that?"

"Well… I need privacy? I can't work with distractions."

"Uhhh... OK?" Lori said as she and Bobby moved to the table directly behind him.

"GOD DAMN IT!" Colin thought. It would make it a lot harder to get out of there alive if they could now see his every move. Once again, he put his mind to use.

"Hey, look! Leni's here!" He said as he pointed to the door. When they turned to greet her, Colin quickly leaned under the table.

"C'mon!" He whispered as she got out from under the table. They hurried to the other door, running towards freedom...

"Luna? What are YOU doing here?"

Colin and Luna froze.

"And why are you with Colin?" Bobby asked.

"Oh, boy..." Colin mumbled to himself. "Uhh… well, you see, we were here talking about, uhh, buisness! And, uhh, we-"

Lori was the first one to realize.

"Wait… You two are on a date, aren't you?"

"Well… if you can call it that, then sure," Luna said, just as embarrased as her boyfriend.

"Look, Lori, Bobby, PLEASE don't tell anyone about this!" Colin said, panicked. "Mom and Dad would KILL us!"

Bobby and Lori looked at each other, then looked back.

"Why would we tell anyone?" Lori asked.

"Well, uh, I don't know. But it sounds like something you might do!"

"Dude, me and Lori were dating for, like, 6 months before we told anyone. This isn't really a big deal."

"So, you're NOT gonna tell anyone?" Luna asked.

"Not if you don't want us to! Of course, you might have to do a few of my chores for a month, but that's a small price to pay, isn't it?"

"As long as the parents don't find out, I'm cool with it," Colin said, relieved that he and Lunas secret was safe.

"Well, since we're all here together, I say that we have a double date!" Bobby chimed in. "I could really go for another burger!"

"Oh, Bobby..." Lori said as her boyfriend walked to the counter to order more food.

 **1 Hour Later...**

"Well, that was honestly better than I expected it to be," Colin said as he, Luna, Lori, and Bobby all rode to their house in Bobbys' car.

"I don't know... I wish that someplace else was open," Luna said.

"Well, in all fairness, it is the holidays... and besides, New Years is around the corner. There'll be stuff to do then."

"Hey, speaking of New Years, are you guys doing anything that night?" Bobby asked the entire group.

When they all responded with either a "No..." or "I don't think so," he offered them a proposition.

"Well, my friend Jim is throwing a New Years Eve party, and I hear that it's gonna be lit! You guys wanna come?"

"Wait, is this the same Jim that got suspended for bringing in vodka disguised in a water bottle?" Colin asked.

"Well, yeah, but he promised everyone there'll be no alcohol that night. But we WILL have sparkling grape juice, though. That's kinda the same, right?"

"Uhh… what's that?"

"Oh, boy… I'll explain later. All I need is a yes or a no!"

"Well, I don't see a problem with it. As long as we get permission..." Lori said.

"It sounds fun! I say we live a little, right, love?" Luna asked Colin.

"Hell yeah! I've never been to a new years party. It should be fun!"

"Then it's settled! We're going! I'll come pick you guys up at 9, deal?" Bobby said as they walked to the front steps of the Loud House.

After making the night official and saying goodbye to Bobby, Lori went inside, while Colin and Luna stayed outside for a minute.

"Hey, sorry that this wasn't a perfect first date and all. I wish there was more to do."

"Colin, any day that I get to spend time with you is a good day. I didn't mind tonight."

"Really? So you obviously didn't mind spending half of it crouching under a table in Burger King. I'll keep that in mind."

"Ha! You're funny, love."

"Thanks, chica," Colin said as he leaned in and gave Luna a peck on the cheek.

"Night, Luna."

"Goodnight, Colin."

As Colin went downstairs to the basement, he was already thinking of the next date with Luna at the New Years Eve party.

"See, when you're living in a big house like me, you have to take your opportunities to have fun when you get them. Thats easy for me, since I'm an opportunist by nature. I am pumped for this party! And- wait, who am I talking too? I'm going loco..." he mumbled as he fell asleep on his air mattress.


	21. New Years, Part 1

**Hey, guys! So, first things first, I changed my name. I know, scandalous, but I really didn't like the old one. It was probably the nerdiest pen name EVER created. So I changed it. Same stories, same writing style... DON'T BE ALARMED!**

 **Also, I have to apologize for being inactive for a while now. I've been busy with school prep and all. Just a quick heads up, this story is on a 2016-2017 timeline, so the characters look back at 2016. And if you aren't looking to read a story about taboo subjects, well, sorry. Enjoy!**

It was the morning of December 31st in the Loud House, and everyone from the parents to the children had plans to ring in the new year. There was one person, however, who didn't understand what all the fuss was about.

"Ok, tell me again, Lincoln; what is New Years Eve?" Colin asked Lincoln as he prepared to head out.

"Colin, I've explained it to you about 8 times now. It's the night before the first day of the year."

"I know that, chico, but why is it such a big deal? I never really cared about it when I was in San Diego..."

"Because it's the start of new beginnings! New experiences!"

"New experiences? New beginnings? Really? You can start your life over on any day! Not to mention that "new experiences" don't all happen on January 1st."

"Ok, well, the calender ends on December 31 and starts again on January 1st. Don't blame me for that."

"Whatever you say, Linc," he chuckled as he prepared to head to the store. Last night he had been asked by his friend Bobby to get the customary drink for the night: non alcoholic sparkling grape juice. He would have never guessed that that even existed if he hadn't been told, but he just assumed that you learn something new every day.

"You coming, chico?" He asked over his shoulder as he opened the door.

"Nah, I'll stay here. I finally have the latest edition of Ace Savvy come in the mail, and I am not throwing away this shot to read it!"

"Eh, suit yourself, bud. Call if you need anything," he said as he closed the door and walked to the store.

 **45 Minutes Later…**

"Ok, what exactly would sparkling grape juice look like?" Colin asked as he scoured the shelves looking for the beverage. He finally saw a display at the front of the store with a couple of bottles. Just as he grabbed them, however, his phone began to rang.

"Hello?"

"Colin! I need a favor, bud!" The voice of Mr Loud said.

"What do you need?"

"Well, I was supposed to get champagne for the party that me and Rita are going to tonight, but I completely forgot about it. Think you could help a guy out and pick up some for me?"

"Uh, don't you have to be 21 to buy alcohol?"

"Colin, when I first met you, you probably could've passed off as a 30 year old man. It shouldn't be a problem."

"Alright, then. See you at home," he said as he hung up and went to the alcohol aisle.

 **That Night, 9:30 P.M…**

"Hurry up, Colin! We're gonna be late!"

"Good god, Luna, I'm going as fast as I can! Give me a minute!"

"What's taking you so long?"

"I have to cornrow my hair!"

"Colin, you've been doing that since 6!"

"It takes a long time! I have a lot of hair!" His hair had mostly grown back after "the Lola incident" (it was to painful for Colin to describe,) and there was just enough left for him to cornrow like he used to.

"How does it look, Leni?" He asked his sister, who was the one actually doing the cornrowing.

"It looks totes great! Like, the best job I've ever done on anyone's hair!"

"Good to hear! Is it almost done?"

"Just give me another minute, and it should be done!"

"Aweso- wait, you DID hear me say I wanted it cornrowed, right?"

"Of course! Why wouldn't you want it cornrowed?"

"Well, Leni, you do have a tendency to mishear things..."

"Oh, Colin. I don't mess around when doing someone's hair. There's more in my head than air, you know."

"Good to hear that," he muttered under his breath as he heard a car pull up in front of the house.

"COLIN! OUR RIDE IS HERE!" Lori shouted up the stairs to the teen.

"I'M COMING! Just, give me a minute!" He yelled as Leni put the finishing touches on his hair.

"Well, if you aren't down here soon, we're leaving! And don't forget the drinks on the table!"

"You done, Leni?"

"Yep! You can leave now!" She said as Colin quickly stood up.

"Here's a tip," he said as he handed her a nickel and ran downstairs. He raced into the kitchen, grabbed a bag from the table, and sprinted to the car.

 **That Night, 10:30 P.M…**

"Alright, who's ready for the new year?" Lynn Sr said to his wife and friends at the party they'd been invited to. There were only a few people, but it was still festive enough for the alcohol.

"I sure am!" Someone piped up. "I'm sick of hearing about this stupid election! And Brexit, and Aleppo, and ISIS!"

"Don't forget about San Bernandino! Or Flint!

"Now how could we forget about Flint? We were saving all of our gallon jugs to fill with water to send over there!"

"And we lost David Bowie, Gene Wilder, Muhammad Ali, and Prince! How could we lose Prince?!"

"Don't forget about Alan Rickman. Or Nancy Reagan. Or George Michael. Or America. They all died too." Mrs Loud chimed into the conversation.

"Well, I say that we just get it over with right now! Let's open the champagne!"

As everyone stated their agreement, Loud popped the bottles open and poured everyone a glass. He then proposed a toast.

"To 2016... F*ck you," he casually said as they all took a swig.

"Hey, this champagne tastes weird..."

"Yeah, somethings different here..."

"This isn't champagne! It's sparkling grape juice!"

"What?" He said as he looked at the bottles. "It IS sparkling grape juice! But I could've sworn I got us champagne!"

"Dear, you must have mixed the bags up and grabbed the wrong one."

"But if the grape juice is here, then who has the champagne?"

 **Meanwhile, At Jims House…**

"And theen I said to him, GO F*CK YOURRSELF!" Colin said to everyone's amusement. The party was in full swing, and everyone had a at least a drink of the grape juice that Colin had brought. Except for Colin. He had just finished his 15th shot.

"Booy, I had a grreat idea openning the graape juice early!" He thought as he stumbled over to his girlfriend.

"Luuna! God, DAMN, chica, you're hot toonight!"

"Colin? Are you OK?"

"Nnnever bettter, sweet cheeks! I feel like an angel! Speaking of that, I CAN FREAKING FLY!" he yelled as he got up on the couch, but Luna stopped him just in time.

"Colin, are you...drunk?"

"Noo way, Lunaa! I'm only on mmy 3rd shoot! Cmon, how about some more graape juice?!"

"Love, why don't you go sit down somewhere?"

"Bbabe, it's almost mmidnnight! I would never miss smooching me Novia oon the new yyear!"

"Where did you get the booze from, Colin?" She asked seriously as she took another shot of "Grape Juice."

"I ddont knnow, the bbar?"

"Love, go lay down for a while. You'll feel better, then."

"Wwhatevver you ssay, baaby," he mumbled as he passed out on other couch.

 **1 Hour Later…**

"Dude, wwake up! It's aalmost midnight!"

Colin woke up to see Luna standing over him, obviously a little more than tipsy.

"Luna! Yoou said it's mmidnight?" He asked, still a very, very drunk.

"Helll yeah, ddude! In, llike, 10 secconds!"

They heard the clock chime midnight, and the people both in the house and in NYC were celebrating the ball dropping. Confetti was thrown, whistles were blown, and 2017 glasses were donned by almost everyone at the party.

"Welll, HAPPPY NEW YYEAR!" he shouted as he got up and tried to walk over to the TV.

"Colin?"

"Hhuh?"

"You do knnow you're suppposed to kiss mee, rightt?"

"Huh? I mmean, Yeeah. Here ya go," he said as he kissed her on the cheek.

"Oh, cmoon, Loove! You can do better thaan that!"

"I caa-" he began to ask before Luna pulled him in for a kiss. They stayed like that for a while, until Colin stood up and said, "doont ya think wee should move it into the beedroom? If you're thinkiing what I'm thiinking-"

"Leets go, then!" She said as they went into the nearest room avalible. They then **proceeded to do stuff that I'm going to assume that you know what it is, but I'm not going to include it because I don't want to make this M rated. This is getting interesting, I'll tell ya. Reviews and follows are always appreciated. Thank you for reading.**


	22. New Years, Part 2

Falling.

Colin Gomez was falling.

For what reason, he didn't know. All he knew was that he was rather quickly falling through the air, wind brushing against him like a hurricane. He felt his body picking up speed, a cannonball flying through the darkness.

All around him, voices whispered in his ears.

"Go home, Colin!"

"You ruined evrything!"

"It's all YOUR fault!"

"I HATE YOU!"

The last one hit him like a gut punch, causing him to tighten his eyes. He opened them after another minute, only to see what he most dreaded: the ground. He could smell the asphalt from where he sat in freefall.

He closed his eyes, bracing for impact...

 **The Next Morning...**

Colin Gomez quickly opened his eyes to find himself on a bed.

A real bed, not his old air mattress at the Loud House. No, this was a real, king sized bed. It was the first thing he noticed after his dream; he, Colin, was not in his house.

The second thing he noticed was the MASSIVE hangover he had. It felt like both his head and his stomach would explode if he even touched them. He couldn't recall most of what had happened the other night, but he did remember drinking a lot of that grape juice… or was it?

The last thing he realized was that he was completely naked. Nothing but him and the covers.

"Ok, where am I? This isn't the house... and why don't have clothes on?" he said, trying to remember what had happened last night. He managed to recall certain stuff… the wild game of Truth or Dare, the grape juice, the horribly out of tune karaoke battle…

He remembered Luna. How they had been hanging out, last he remembered. How they had gone into-

Wait a minute...

Slowly, he turned his head to the side.

"Luna?"

Laying next to him was his girlfriend, who was still passed out on the bed. She wore a goofy grin on her face, like she was in the middle of a sweet dream.

But this was no dream. Colin had slowly put the pieces together while she slept.

"Oh, no. Oh no, oh no, oh no..." he said silently as he reached over and shook his girlfriend awake.

"Luna! Chica, wake up!"

"Uhhh... what?"

"Wake up!"

"Not so loud, dude! My head is killing..." she said, shut her voice trailed off as she saw the predicament they were in.

"Colin?"

"Did we just..."

"OH, GOD!" Luna yelled as the got out of bed. Colin followed suit, almost falling face first on the floor trying to gather his clothing.

"This is bad, Love! Really, really, BAD!"

"You're telling me?!" Colin said as he threw on his shirt. "There were like, 50 people here! Someone had to have walked in in us... you know... doing it!"

"Well, we can't focus on it now! Check the time!"

Colin reached to get his phone, but at that moment, a very tired Jim walked into the room.

"Guys... what are you doing here? the party is over..." he said, obviously not connected to reality yet.

"Oh, uh, we were just, uhm, leaving! Yeah, we were leaving!"

"Good. The partys been over for, like, an hour now...It's 5 in the morning!"

"Oh, crap, oh crap oh crap..." Colin thought, frantic. Someone HAD to have noticed. Maybe even Bobby and Lori!

"Wait, did Bobby and Lori leave? They were our ride!"

"Oh, yeah, they, um, left around 2. They couldn't find you and all, so they said to be home by 6:30 or some shit."

"Ok, so we have an hour to get home. Thanks, Jim," he said as he and Luna rushed out of the room and outside.

"Well, that's one way to start the New Year..." he mumbled as he lay down passed out onto the bed.

 **30 Minutes Later…**

The early morning was surprisingly good weather in Royal Woods, at least for January. The air was just the right amount of frigid, allowing easy breathing for anyone walking through it. A light snow fell, dusting everything in its path with white.

On the corner of Joel Avenue and Savino Street, Colin struggled to maneuver his way through the dim light.

"Are we almost home, Luna? I can't see the road..."

"I think so," she said, stonefaced.

"Chica, why are you mad at me?" He asked, knowing fully why she was mad at him. Not even mad, PISSED.

"You know why."

"Oh, come on, Luna, it was an accident! We were pitch black drunk!"

"It doesn't matter, Colin. It's still..."

"I couldn't help it! I don't remember anything last night! It was-"

"Colin, we've been dating for about a week! One! Week!"

"And it's probably been the best week of my life!"

"And I'm not saying it wasn't, Colin!"

"Then why aren't you happy with this?"

"I don't know! It's just…"

She sat down on the curb, putting her head into her hands. Colin soon followed suit, gently grabbing her arm.

"Its just what?"

"It just feels...weird, you know? I mean… isn't the first time supposed to be…"

"I know, babe. It could've gone better, I know..."

"And it isnt even the biggest deal! Colin, what if I get-"

"You won't be, Chica. Hopefully. It's too early to tell."

Luna leaned her head on Colins shoulder. He laid his head on hers, closing his eyes.

"No matter what happens, Chica, I'll still love you. You know that, right?"

"Of course I do. And I love you more, you know."

"Please. I love you to the moon and back."

"Well, I love YOU to the moon and back, twice!"

"Well, I love you to..."

 **30 Minutes Later...**

"Ok, I think we know how much we love each other now," Luna told Colin as she began to stand up.

"Yeah, well, I still love you more."

"Oh, shut up! We both agreed that I won!"

"The test was rigged. I demand a recount."

"Oh, Love..." she mumbled as they arrived at the front door to the house. They quietly took their spare key out, opened the door, and snuck in to find Lori and Bobby waiting for them.

"About time you finally came home."

A solid 5 seconds of silence passed before Colin began to stammer.

"L-l-look, chica, I know we're late, but go easy on us, will ya?"

"Well, it's a good thing that Mom and Dad don't wake up until 7 to get ready for work, isn't it? Consider yourself lucky to get to deal with me."

"Lori, if you tell mom and dad ANYTHING, then-"

"Where were you guys, anyways? The party ended and we couldn't find you anywhere!"

"Well, uh, we went to the convenience store to get food," Luna lied, trying not to draw suspicion to themselves. "Yeah, we just needed a break from the party, you know..."

"Well, we were worried sick! We just assumed you came home early and left. Guess it's a good thing that we told Jim, isn't it?"

"Yeah, totally," Colin agreed, but at that moment, his head started to scream in pain. He quickly tried to sit down on the couch.

"Colin, are you alright?" Lori asked him, looking a lot more concerned than before.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Just a headache..."

"Colin, do you have a hangover?" She asked him seriously.

"-sigh- well, there wouldn't be any use in lying, would there? Yeah, I do."

"You must have drank a lot of champagne last night..."

"Well, I thought it was grape juice, OK? I must've mixed up the bags or something."

"I can tell. You look horrible. Why don't you guys go and sleep for a while?"

"Sounds great!" He said as he stood up. He really didn't care at the moment for Lori to find out what they had really been doing for the past few hours. "I'm gonna go sleep all day now. I'm exhaus-"

"AH HA! WE CAUGHT YOU!" Bobby said tiredly as he was woke up.

"Little too late for that, Bobby," Colin said as he walked downstairs, not taking his sweet time at all getting there. He soon fell on the mattress and fell asleep, not even thinking about that mornings events.

 **I freaking hate school, you know that?**

 **It's tough to get all of my work done and turned in. I don't have time for anything right now. And worst off, I haven't been able to write! And THAT is the biggest travesty of all!**

 **No, but in all seriousness, I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. I promise I'll try harder in the future to update my stories. I love doing this, and I sure love all the people who read this...**

 **By the way, if all of you are on IFunny, give me a sub! JebusChrisst is my username, so go ahead and subscribe! Thanks for reading!**


	23. Gender Bender, Part 1

**MASSIVE 3 PART ADVENTURE HERE! Guys, I think that you'll LOVE this exclusive, never before seen clip from 'Year as a Loud!' Follows and Favorites are great, and for the love of God, REPLIES! I want to know what you people think! Your opinions matter to me! So tell me yours! Anyways, hope you enjoy! P.S. Bonus points for whoever tells me the song Colin is singing in the beginning!**

It was a normal March afternoon at 1216 Franklin Avenue, otherwise known as the Loud house. Or, as Colin Gomez liked to put it, 'Heaven on Earth.' This house was bigger and more fancy than anything he could have ever dreamed of in San Diego! It was like a palace!

Well, he knew it was by no means a palace. After all, palaces were bigger. And more expensive. And didn't have holes the size of grapefruits randomly placed. It was an expression.

Either way, Colin was zoned out on the couch, listening to 'Biggest Hits Radio' on 101.3. It was quiet that day. All of the kids were busy with their own activities, which was rather surprising to him. Even LINCOLN had something to do today… at least, he thought. He wasnt in his room that morning. Come to think of it, he hadn't seen Lincoln in DAYS. Oh, well. It was probably a new video game or something...

"Oh, well… we can hang another time. Now, its all about me…"

He began to silently sing along to the music, zoning in and out of reality.

" _Daylight… I wake up feeling like you won't play right... I used to know, but now that shit don't feel right… It made me put away my pride…"_

"Colin."

"AGHHH!" he yelped, flying up off the couch. He turned around, ready to tell Lucy off for jumpscaring him again… except that it wasn't her.

"Lisa?! What are you-"

"Follow me. I need your assistance."

She had already made it up the stairs before Colin could even react.

"Well… ok? I guess?"

He paused his music, and shoving his phone into his hoodie pocket, walked upstairs, trying to straighten his cornrows out.

 **2 Minutes Later…**

"I thought you'd never show up."

"Oh, knock it off, chica. What do you need help with?"

"Help? Hmm… try this on."

She tossed him an object far too small for him to recognize. He caught it with no hesitation, and looking into his hands…

"A watch?"

"That's what it is, yes?"

"Well… but it's a WATCH. And… it looks kinda outdated, too…"

Sure enough, the watch looked more like a sonar of some sort. The face was a dull green, while there were two small antenna protruding from the left side. On the right edge sat a single, large button, which was a rather dull shade of green.

"Colin, Colin, Colin… press that button on the side."

He stared at her as if she was mad. Press the button? What was she getting on about with this? Was she… setting him up? It wasn't that big of an exaggeration, to be honest. Lisa was capable of… well, A LOT.

"What does the button do?"

"You'll find out when you press it, won't you?"

"Well, I ain't pressing it until you tell me what it is!"

"And why not?"

"Well… It could KILL me!"

"Brother, I sincerely doubt that this creation can leave an indent on you, none the less cause your untimely demise. Now press the button."

"-sigh- Well, it was nice knowing ya, I guess…"

He pressed the button and was temporarily blinded. A light flashed for only a millisecond, only to be replaced by a low hum.

"Yes… YES! It works! After all this time, IT WORKS!"

Slowly, Colin opened his eye, not knowing whether to be curious or terrified at what Lisa was doing.

He was not disappointed. In the middle of the room sat a large, light green circle of swirling mass.

"What the…"

"BEHOLD, COLIN! The greatest act of science ever conceived by humankind!"

"Lisa… what IS that thing?!"

She stared at him, not knowing whether to be amused or shocked.

"It's a portal, genius. What did you think it was, a doughnut?"

"Well, no! It's… LISA, DID YOU FIX MY PORTAL?!" he asked with excitement.

"Unfortunately, that one is still in production…" she remarked to his dissapointment. "But THIS… this is unlike ANYTHING I've done before. I've known since you arrived that interdimensional travel is real, but not to THIS extent!"

"Well, I mean, you got your Science Fiction and all…

"I dont waste my time with that stuff! But heres the thing. I've found that when you go through this certain portal, you're-"

"Hey, do you think this can wait until after you're done in there? I kinda have to-"

"Colin, Im not going. Now get in."

"WHAT?!"

"You heard me. Go into the portal."

"How crazy do you think I am?!" he asked, taking a step back. "News Flash, Chica, I'm not dumb!"

"Hmm… perhaps we could reach a compromise, then…"

He slowly began to back away from the portal and towards the door, realizing that he might need to make a run for it. Lisa was rather… NOTORIOUS for her methods of persuasion.

"Chica, I don't know-"

"-snap- I GOT IT! Brother, if you transverse into that interdimensional portal for me, I shall supply you with an unlimited quantity of quick comestables and other pieces of gratitude for-"

"Woah, woah, woah, Lisa, I'm no scientist, but I think you're trying to reason here…"

"-sigh- I'll buy you Burger King for 6 months if you assist me. Deal?"

"Hmm… where's the money?"

"Seriously? Why do you-"

"Chica, chica, you REALLY think I'd risk my life for no cash upfront? I'll need that first bill now, please."

"Grrr…" she numbled, fishing around her pocket. "Here's six dollars. Help yourself."

"Aw, sweet!" he said, taking the money. "I can pay for a whopper, now!"

"Yes, yes, big whoop. Now, a few ground rules. First off, you NEVER remove that watch from your wrist."

"What, THIS? No problem! I can keep it on for as long as you want!"

"Good. Second, you only have 24 HOURS to be in there before this portal closes. If you're stuck in there, you're out of luck."

"Yeah, yeah… can I go, now?"

"-sigh- I suppose if you know those two rules… alright, you can leave. BUT BE CAREFUL! Act natural when you're there! These people are not the same as they are here!"

"Hey, no problem!" he said, walking up to face the green blob. "I'm good at blending in! We Latinos have a special set of skills!"

"Science disproves that, but whatever suits you… oh, and Colin? When you're in there, can you grab Lincoln? He got stuck in there last night."

"Yeah, sure! Can I go into the- wait, what did you say abou-"

He stopped mid sentence as Lisa gave him a push. Not a strong one, but enough to send him stumbling backwards towards the portal.

"Woah, woah, WOOOOOOAH!" he yelled, still holding the wristwatch. He held it tightly as he felt himself… falling, falling, falling...


	24. Gender Bender, Part 2

"Owww…"

Colin opened his eyes, feeling nothing but pain all around him. He had landed on something that had felt like concrete, and sure enough, he was in the basement, laying on the floor.

He checked his hands, only to realize the watch wasn't there. He must've dropped it on the floor when he landed. No big deal.

He sat up, brushing his hair to the side. His room looked the same… nothing was out of place. His mattress was still the way he had left it that morning. His phone was plugged in on the wall, exactly at the 67 percent he had left it on.

"Huh… I don't think it worked. Did it?"

He stood up, not paying too much attention to detail as he walked up the stairs towards the kitchen.

"Where IS Lisa? I gotta tell her it didn't work, I guess…"

He opened the door and was relieved to see a familiar face at the counter. A person in a familiar red and white sports jersey was making toast.

"Lynn?"

Lynn turned around, looking at who had made the noise.

"Yeah?"

"Wait… who are you?"

"Uhhh… I'm Lynn. You just said my name?"

"You look different…"

"Really? How?"

"Well… your hair isn't in a ponytail. And your shorts are longer…"

"Huh? What're you talking about? Why would I have a ponytail?"

"Well…"

At that moment, another person came through the door, this one confusing Colin even more.

"Hey, have you two seen my shirt anywhere? I can't find it…"

"Loni, you're wearing it. Remember?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah! I almost forgot!"

'Loni' looked down at his shirt and turned around, running face first into the wall.

"OW! Who put THAT there?" he asked, walking back up the stairs.

Colin looked back to Lynn as if he had just seen a ghost.

"Who was that?!"

"Uhh… Loni? Our brother?"

The confused stare on his face caused him to go into greater detail.

"You know… Brother? You have 10 or them?"

"No...no, I have 10 SISTERS, not brothers…"

"Coleen, what are you talking about? Are you feeling ok?"

But Colin was feeling anything but ok. His mind was clouded with thoughts as he feebly asked another question.

"W-what did you say?"

"Uhh… are you feeling-"

"No, no, not THAT… my name, what's my name?"

"Seriously? Your name is Coleen. Or did you change it or something?"

"Uhh…" he said, his mind beginning to fog up. "Uhh, I… I need to go!"

He ran out of the room and to the upstairs bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

"No… no, that's impossible! Lisa can't do that! She's only… only 4…"

He had paused for only a brief moment when he noticed his clothing. He still had his Michigan hoodie on, but his jeans… they were cut off. And they weren't jorts, either: they went down to the top of his upper thigh.

"Oh, my God…"

He closed his eyes and slowly made his way to the mirror.

Ok...1,2,3…"

He opened his eyes. He was perfectly normal. Except for ONE small little detail.

Colin Gomez-Loud was a GIRL.

Now, while you would think that a girl version of Colin would look like a pig with makeup, it felt… NATURAL. She was shorter, and her hair came down to past her shoulders in braided pigtails. Her cheeks were a dark shade of red, and she had a bit of lipstick on, as well.

She stepped back from the mirroelr, only now starting to realize how different her voice sounded.

"No… no, no, no, NO…"

Realizing what was going on, she did the only logical thing she could:threw her arms down to her side and yell.

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!"

The world began to feel dark… very dark…

 **Later…**

"Are you SURE she isn't hurt, Loki?"

"I'm sure! I LITERALLY JUST took health class last semester, I know what to-"

"Hey, I think she's waking up!"

"Shhh!"

Coli- err, COLEEN opened her eyes. She sat up, looking around. She was in the basement, On her bed. At least she was comfortable…

She looked around in panic at the faces surrounding her. They were boys, all of them… but at the same time, they were faces she knew. The sisters… but DIFFERENT.

"W-whats going on?"

"You started screaming for no reason," Lynn said. "Then you fell down and fainted!"

"Yeah!" a little boy in overalls said. "Luke picked you up and carried you down here!"

"Well… I just did what I had too…" a boy with a Mohawk said in the back, his cheeks turning red.

"Uh, huh," 'Loki' said, turning back to her. "Well, what gives, Coleen? What happened?"

"I… uhh…"

Try as she might, there was no way she could give a valid answer. So, naturally, she lied.

"It's… complicated. Just some, er, boy trouble?"

She flinched with uncertainty. But to her relief, she wasn't met with suspicion.

"WHAT?!" a boy in yellow suspenders yelled out. In his hands, he held a small ventriloquist dummy.

"A boy is being mean to you?!"

"WHERE IS HE?!"

"No, no, no!" she said, trying to stop a riot from breaking out. "Uhh… it was nothing, really. Can you guys, uhh, leave, please?"

"Are you kidding?! We haven't even given you first aid yet!"

"So? I don't think I nee-"

"And what about your phone?"

"Well, it's-"

"And your-"

"GET OUT OF THE BASEMENT!" She yelled, pointing towards the door. Startled, they all slowly left the basement.

Coleen sat down, twisting her hair with her finger in anxiety.

"What the actual hell is going on?!" she thought out loud. "This isn't possible! I should still be a dude! Not… not THIS!"

She laid her head on her pillow, looking up at the roof.

"And I don't even know where the watch is. Great. Just great, Colin! You're doing so-"

"Colin?"

The familiar voice rang through the basement, causing her to look up.

"Wait…"

"Colin? Is that…"

Coleen turned her head to the left. There, standing before her, was a girl. Except…

"Lincoln?!"

"Well, if you want to call me that, then yeah, that's me," the girl said, running her fingers through her long, white hair. "But people are calling me Linka here. Don't ask why."

"I wont, trust me. I don't even think this is real…"

"Oh, it's real, all right," Linka said, sitting down. "I just had to go on a date with Ronnie Anne!"

"Huh? Ronnie-"

"Well, his name was Ronaldo, but… oh, fhis is just way too confusing for me…"

"How did you even get here? Where's your watch?"

"-sigh- I HAD it… I had it RIGHT UP to 5 minutes left. Then Levi took it and wouldn't give it back until it was useless."

"Levi?"

"Lisa, but in this… world. HE still has it, for some reason. Wants to run tests."

"You're lucky she had another one of those watches for me, Linc. You would've been stuck as a girl forever, then!"

"Oh, God…" the girl shivered, leaning back. "I hope not! So, where's your warch?"

"Well, I dropped it, I think. Can you help me-"

"HAY, LEXX, CHECK OUT THIS COOL WATCH I FOUND!"

"MOVE IT, LEIF, BEFORE I RAM YOU WITH MY CAR!"

"Well, I think I know who has it, then…"

"Let me guess: those are the twins, aren't they?"

She nodded. Coleen sighed.

"Well, then, we need to get it back!" she said, standing up. "Chica, we gotta-"

"Chica?"

"Yeah?"

"No, no, no, why did you call me-"

"Chica? Well, you're a girl, aren't you?"

"Well, technically, yeah, but-"

"Problem solved. Now, we need to get the watch back somehow… but how?"

And so, Coleen and Linka began to plot...


	25. Gender Bender, Part 3

Link and Colleen peered out the door of the basement, plotting their next move.

"Ok Colin, so you're gonna distract Leif and Lexx while I take the watch. Got it?"

"I think so… which one is which? Like, who's Lola and who's Lana?"

"Uhh…"

"You know what, it doesn't matter. Operation: Sibling Watch is a GO, chica!"

"Stop calling me that!"

The two girls crept up the stairs, careful to be as quiet as possible. They got to the kitchen and finally made it to the base of the stairs, where they saw the twins duking it out at the top.

"GIVE IT, LEXX!"

"OVER MY DEAD BODY, LEIF!"

"Linka, do I really have to do this?" Colleen asked as she rose her eyebrows. "These two look like they're having fun already…"

"Just go! I'll get the watch… and don't call me Linka!"

"Ok, ok! Geez, I'm just trying to play the part!"

Slowly, she walked up the stairs. The twins noticed her, but paid no attention. They were too busy throwing haymakers at each other.

"Uhh… what'd wrong, chicos?"

Immediately, Leif and Lexx were screaming what the other had done to their sister.

"LEIF TOOK MY WATCH AND TRIED PUNCHING ME!"

"NO! YOU RAN ME OVER AND TOOK IT FROM ME!"

"Guys, guys!" she said, pulling them apart from each other as they flailed around. "This is a stupid reason to fight! You know better!"

"Hey, let go of them, Colleen!" the boy in yellow suspenders said, coming out of his room. In his hand, he held a video camera.

"Butt out of it, Lane!" Leif yelled. "You aren't helping!"

"Hey, I'm just trying to get material here!" he said, throwing up his free hand as he walked away. "Not my fault you guys only give me scraps! Ha! Get it? Cause, you know, a scrap is a-"

"WE GET IT!" all three yelled, and Lane walked downstairs. Colleen turned her attention back to the twins.

"Alright, hand over the watch if you can't share it!"

The twins grumbled, but Colleen was right: if they so much as said no, their mom would have them burned alive. Slowly, Leif pulled the watch out of his overall pocket and-

"I'll take that!"

Lynn had run up behind Colleen and snatched the watch out of Leifs hand. Colleens eyes widened as she turned to her other brother.

"LYNN!"

"Ooooh, a smart watch?" he said, smiling as he fiddled with buttons. "Probably have some texts from your crush on here, don't you?"

"Give it back, chico! NOW!"

"Ha! Ya gotta catch me first !" he said, sprinting towards the stairs. Linka was still coming up and was nearly knocked over by her brother.

"Colin! Get the watch!"

"I'm trying, chica!" she yelled as she ran down the stairs after Lynn.

"STOP CALLING ME-"

"We have bigger fish to fry right now, CHICO! There, I said it!"

"Good! Now GET HIM!"

The two chased Lynn around the house for a solid ten minutes, not being able to catch up with him.

"-huh!- Dude! He's gonna find the portal if we don't get him!" Colleen said as they stopped at the top of the stairs, grasping for air.

"I know! There has to be a-"

 **SMASH!**

"OW!" Lynn yelled as he fell to the floor, dropping the watch as he grabbed at his face. The guy the twins had called Luke was standing in his doorway, his fist still clenched.

"You deserve it, dude! You gotta stop being a dick to Linka and Colleen!"

"Whatever…" he mumbled, scrambling to his feet and running to his room. Luke picked up the watch and looked at Colleen, smiling.

"I couldn't let him get away from you, babe," he said as he handed the watch to her.

"Uhhh… thanks?" she said, not sure exactly what he was talking about.

"No problem… hey, you wanna go get dinner around 6 tonight? My treat! I know this really cool place called-"

"Uhhh, I'll get back to you on that one," Colleen said, trying desperately to get the portal open. "Why don't you just-"

"Babe, are you ok? You're acting kind of-"

"DON'T TOUCH ME! I'M STRAIGHT!" She screamed, running down the stairs away from him. Luke wore a face of both confusion and suspicion at the sight.

"Uhhh… ok? Is… is that a problem?"

"It's a long story! I'll tell you later!" Linka said as she ran down the stairs, not noticing Colleen had dropped the watch along the way. Another brother did notice, though...

"Hmm… wicked…" Lars said, picking up the watch. "A perfect night light for my coffin…"

 **Meanwhile…**

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU LOST IT?!"

"I MEAN I LOST IT, LINKA! What do you think I meant?!"

"Colleen, your voice is changing… and I just called you Colleen!"

"Oh, no…" Colleen said, looking at her hands. "Our times running out, chica! We're becoming GIRLS!"

"Oh, God…" Linka whispered, staring into space. "We need to find that watch!"

 **BANG!**

Both the girls looked up the stairs, immediately knowing the portal when they saw it.

"Colin! Uhh, Colleen! We need to get there!"

"GO, GO!"

They sprinted up the stairs, and turning into Lynn and Lars room saw the latter laying in his bed, the portal coming out of his coffin.

"...WICKED…"

"LINKA, HOP IN!"

The two jumped through the portal, and before you could say "gender," Colin and Lincoln were sitting in the hallway, everything back to normal.

"Oh, geez…" Colin said, looking down at his now masculine hands. "That… was crazy."

"You're telling me…" Lincoln said, cracking his back. "Let's never do that again, shall we?"

"AGREED," Colin said enthusiastically. Lincoln walked into his room, and Colin stood up feebly.

"Jesus, this place is something else…" he mumbled, walking downstairs. He sat on the couch and closed his eyes, trying to repel the memories of what had just happened from his head.

"I'm NEVER helping anyone in this house again…" he mumbled, drifting off to sleep.

 **OK then, well, this is the first upload to this story in a year, soooo, hope you enjoyed it! I may get back on this, but this was just meant to end to Genderbent arch that I forgot about until literally two days ago. Check out my other stuff while you're at it, too! Thanks for reading!**


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